Sweet Revenge

Two hours later Gerard didn’t see fit to return to the sitting room, leaving Sarah to sit awkwardly on his couch. She gave into the dog’s demands and gave him proper attention, which he lapped up greedily. He leaned against her legs and rested his head on her lap, giving her easy access to scratch his ears, which he seemed to enjoy. He was a huge animal, who could easily tackle anyone down to the ground if he wanted to. She saw the razor sharp teeth protrude slightly from his mouth and couldn’t help but imagine the damage he could do if he was so inclined. It was hard to believe him to be capable of it, though, when he sat beside her so calmly, occasionally licking her hand as though he were trying to calm her in his own canine way. On looks alone, he was a perfect guard dog. Nobody would want to fuck with an animal so large and vicious-looking. She wondered if his affection was his own way of showing her that he wasn’t as intimidating as he looked; he didn’t need to, though. Sarah was well aware of the fact that appearances were deceptive, and no indication of what laid underneath the surface and the secrets hidden.

She put the TV on to drown out the silence that descended upon the room since Gerard’s hasty departure. She understood his reluctance to be around her, but it still stung to have it shoved in her face so blatantly. Solitude was something she had grown accustomed to, but being left to her own devices without direction didn’t sit well with her, nor did the lack of noise associated with it. Silence was now an unbearable form of torture; in her mind, it was still associated with pain and punishment. Michael had loved to lock her away in the basement, in the dark, dank cold whenever she had made a mistake. If his dinner hadn't been ready on time, or his shirt hadn't been ironed to his standard, she was thrown down the stairs of their basement and left to wallow in the maddening silence and darkness while Michael went out to drink. She never knew how long she was left down there for; it had always felt like days, but more than likely had only been a matter of hours. Time was distorted in the basement when all she had was her thoughts to keep her company in the dark, cold silence. His return had been as much of a punishment as the solitary confinement. He was vicious when sober, and downright cruel when drunk. Alcohol made his inner demons come out, and they loved to play, namely with belts and any other implements that were readily available. To this day, she couldn’t sleep without a TV on in the background, or she’d suffer from panic attacks so bad that her chest would be in pain for days afterwards, along with a confused and upset Charlotte, who would always wake up every time and crawl into bed with her in an attempt to remind her that she was okay now.

She was suddenly grateful for the nameless dog’s company. The last couple of days had passed by in a blur while she organised her daughter’s ‘vacation’ with her parents and tracked Gerard down, which proved difficult when she knew so little about him. Now that she was left with nothing but her thoughts, the familiar sensation of something crawling under her skin returned,along with all the doubts and fears that she ignored when there was an immediate task at hand. For now, everything was working out exactly how she wanted, and all that she could do was wait and be patient. She had gotten what she came for, but it still didn’t feel real to her. Nothing ever did anymore, except for her daughter. Sarah took a deep breath, her hand still idly scratching the dog’s ears, reminding herself that she had already achieved her main objective, even if things didn’t go her way from here on out. Charlotte was safe and out of the country, as were her parents. Michael would never find them now. He had no idea that her parents now owned a villa in the south of Spain; and even if he somehow managed to figure it out, his face was all over the national news stations and newspapers. There was no way that he could board a plane when he was on the run. It was a weight offher shoulders that Michael couldn’t touch them now. Her main distraction was gone, and now the only thing she had to fear was Michael finding her before she was ready. If she were truly honest with herself, she was terrified of him finding her, whether she was prepared or not. Michael had done unspeakable things to her that she would never forget. He was a monster with no fear and no empathy. He would kill her in a heartbeat if he had to, and she would be crazy if she didn’t find the thought petrifying. More than that, she feared what she was about to do; her soul was a harsh price to pay but she believed that her actions would be for the greater good. By killing one soulless creature, she would save many, including her daughter. She fought the bile rising in her stomach at the thought. She wasn’t a murderer; she valued human life but no one who knew Michael could count him as human anymore. The emptiness she had seen behind his eyes showed that there was nothing there that made him worthy of being called human. To be human denoted some shred of humanity, and his was long gone, if indeed he ever had it at all. He had faked it for so long that his act was convincing, but it was an act nonetheless. He had made her believe that he was sweet, kind, gentle and capable of love and respect. It had taken over a year for her to realise that she had fallen for the act of a psychotic, soulless killer. She still believed that there was good in him during the many years of abuse she suffered at his hands, unwilling to admit she had been duped so easily by a handsome face and flattering words. She believed that she could pull him back if she loved him more, if she tried to be a better wife. It was a lie she believed until the day he tried to kill her and their baby. That was the day that she finally saw Michael for the monster he was. He showed no remorse at any stage during the trial that followed afterwards. The only emotion that she had seen from him was anger as he was dragged away, and the unspoken threat of revenge was clear to see in his otherwise vacant eyes. She did her best to push her fears aside, curled her tired body on the couch and let sleep overtake her.

It hadn’t taken Gerard long to sort out the unexpected time off. Once word had gotten out about Mikey it had been anticipated that he might want to get away. Half an hour was all it took to get all the cases he was working on shifted onto someone else’s desk, and the obligatory ‘let me know if you need anything' speech that he was certain his boss had rehearsed. He wasn’t ready to back out and face Sarah, at least not tonight. She didn’t notice the eight pack of beer he took into his room with him, and he had no intention of leaving the confines of his room before he downed every last drop of each can. He wasn’t an alcoholic; he told himself that every week when he put his beer can trash out, which slowly became heavier to drag out over time. He didn’t need it to function. He didn’t let it affect his job, and he was damn good at what he did. It was only in the evenings, when his mind was racing over a new murder case that he had a can or three to unwind. It wasn’t the healthiest outlet for his stress, he was well aware of that, but it was a good coping mechanism and he wasn’t going to change it, especially not tonight. Sarah was a ghost he had long forgotten, along with her daughter. Their existence had been left to rot in his past, and he wished they had stayed right there. He couldn’t understand Sarah’s insistence that he should be the one to help her, and frankly he found her sense of entitlement was beyond arrogant. She was a rich kid from a good family who got screwed over in life, and she came to the conclusion that it was his problem, just because Mikey was his brother. He had read her file and gleamed enough information from it to get a pretty accurate picture of her personality. She had been a straight A student all through her academic years; she went to the best schools and had been a sorority girl to boot. Her life had been perfect until Mikey had wormed his way in and took away her future. Gerard was sympathetic, of course; he wasn’t heartless, but even during the trial he could see that she hadn’t been completely broken. The self righteous, determined, entitled attitude was still there underneath her anger,and it didn’t stick well with him. He had fought and struggled for everything in his life. He worked to be the best and every accomplishment he achieved was his own. He doubted Sarah could make such a claim. He hated the fact that he was even thinking about her, as all those thoughts inevitably led to the one person he never wanted to waste another second of his time on. Mikey was dead to him, and he had been living a peaceful existence under the pretence that Mikey didn’t exist. Even when the news of Mikey’s escape broke, he kept up the appearance of indifference in front of his colleagues, and made no changes to his life other than keeping his gun closer to hand when he walked alone.

Five cans in, he realised that he couldn’t avoid his body’s need to use the bathroom, and with only a slight stumble in his step he made the journey in record time. He was about to escape back into his room when a whine got his attention, followed by the unmistakable sound of a paw scraping the sitting room door. He opened the door, barely keeping upright when Bilbo pounced on him, whining to get outside to do his business. Bilbo ran to fetch his lead without prompting, eager to finally get out. Sarah was curled up on the couch, fast asleep with the TV blurring on full volume. Gerard quickly fetched a blanket for her, only feeling a little guilty for not being more attentive, before he switched the TV off and brought Bilbo outside. Gerard realised something was wrong the minute he entered the apartment. Bilbo pulled off his leash and ran to the sitting room door, whining and scratching to get inside. Gerard opened the door, mildly confused by the silhouette of Sarah clutching her knees and wheezing, clearly struggling to breathe in the dark. Gerard had seen enough panic attacks in his time for his reaction to become automatic. He raced to grab a paper bag stuffed in one of his kitchen drawers, and made short work of shoving the bag over Sarah’s face while trying to get her to calm down. Bilbo was licking her face, which she didn’t seem to notice in her current state. It took the best part of an hour to get her breathing back to normal. Her face was pale and tear stained by the time the paper bag was no longer needed. She looked a right mess with her dishevelled hair and now creased clothes.

“The bathroom is just down the hall if you want to clean up” Gerard offered.

Sarah waited for him to say more, but she gave up when he stood up and walked into his kitchen. She splashed some water on her face and took her contacts out, a difficult task when her hands were still shaking. She expected to see Gerard in the sitting room when she came back, but instead she only saw the dog, she thought she heard Gerard call him Bilboo, curled up in his large doggy bed in the corner of the room. Part of her wondered whether she’d been right to seek out Gerard’s help. The lack of empathy he displayed was eerily similar to his brother’s, sending a shiver of unease down her spine. She could only pray that time would dissolve his indifference to her.

Notes

Here you go my dears. Sorry for the wait. Feedback is awesome!

Lyra