Burry Me In All My Favorite Colors

I rolled over and forced myself to open my eyes and glanced over at my clock, 4:48. Ugh I knew I had to get up but my covers made me feel as if I was glued to my bed. I was too comfortable to move. I laid there for a couple of minutes until my body decided to respond to my thoughts. Once I uncovered myself I instantly felt the cold air hit my body making me shiver. I ran to my bathroom grabbing my phone off my side table. As I let the water run, I sent a text out to my best friend Charlie:

Hey babe, I need you to do me a huge favor, I need to run some last minute errands at around 7. I'll drop off Natalie before then, kay?

I set my phone down, undressed myself, and stepped into the warm shower. That entire time, one of the memories I tried so hard to suppress resurfaced...

*Flashback*

"Jerllynne, he doesn't deserve you! He doesn't appreciate you! Why don't you see that?" Mikey said as he paced from one side of the room to the other. I sat on his bed trying to stop myself from crying. "You're an amazing girl, and I wouldn't tell you he's bad for you if I didn't honestly think that."
He stopped and stared down at me. His face was red with anger he asked in a sincere serious tone "Why are you with him?"

I didn't say anything and looked down. I didn't know why. I had plenty of reasons why I wanted to, needed to stay with him. "Because Mikey you don't know him like I do!"

"Please tell me all about it" he said sarcastically "because last time I checked, a guy that's in love with you would never do that" he grabbed my arm and revealed a small bruise. "Stop Mikes," I pulled my arm away from his hold. "I told you about this because you're my best friend not because I wanted you to judge me, and anyways it was an accident he said it's not happening again-"

"And you BELIEVE him?" He said in disbelief. " J, guys like that never change!" I angrily got up from the bed and looked straight at him "And what do you expect I do about this!?" I pointed at my very pregnant stomach "She can't grow up without a father. I can't raise her on my own Mikey!"

"You don't have to.." He almost whispered. I stared at him confused "What do you mean?" He lifted my chin and stared into my eyes "Jerllynne I... I'm in love with you." My heart stopped. Why did he say that? I began to cry and stormed out of the room and ran to my car as fast and as best as I could.

"J.... WAIT!!!" When he caught up to me, it was too late, I was already backing up from the driveway. I could hear his remarks as he tried to get me to stop the car, but I didn't. I just kept driving in no particular direction blaring loud music the entire time. I stopped the car once I got to the outskirts of the city. I began to cry even more. I couldn't reciprocate the feelings Mikey had. I shouldn't. I won't. I want him to succeed, I don't want to pull him back, even if it means cutting myself entirely out of his life.

*End of Flashback*

I dried myself off with my towel and wrapped it around my body right before stepping into my room. I made my way to my closet and picked out what I would be wearing. I put on my nicest looking shirt and some dark jeans with boots. I put some light makeup on and moussed my wavy hair. I stared into the mirror and was surprised at the person reflected on it. It had been years since I tried to look presentable my brown wavy hair had gotten longer and my gray shirt seemed to compliment my fair skin and green eyes. I snapped out of my thoughts and gathered my stuff and made my way to my daughter's room to get her ready.

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"Thanks again Charlie!" I said. "I wonder what kind of errand you have to do looking like that" she winked at me. I laughed shaking my head and rolled up my window. I waved goodbye as I backed up driving towards my destination. Getting closer made me get more and more nervous. Maybe I shouldn't do this anymore, yeah just make up an excuse, he'll understand. No I can't he's there, I can't run out on him again. I parked in the familiar lot, got off my car, and walked towards the door. I breathed in the cold autumn air and exhaled deeply before opening the building's door.

There's no turning back now.

Notes

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