Don't Stand So Close To Me

Today was the day the guys were going to go out and buy instruments and equipment.

Gerard was down with something, what I assumed to be /withdrawal/. It’d been a week since his last line of coke. So I stayed home to take care of him.

I walked into his room, everything was dark and I could barely make out his slumped figure in the bed. I sighed and walked over to the windows, pulling the shutters up.

He groaned like a vampire meeting the sun, covering his face with blankets.

“C’mon, get up, let me change your sheets.” I rolled my eyes.

“No. Fuck off.” He growled.

“Gerard,” I gave him an appointed look.

He groaned and got up, dragging his blankets with him, one wrapped around him giving him the appearance of a caterpillar. I chuckled to myself and went to work, chucking sheets and pillows off.

I removed the pillow cases one by one, tossing them into a pile with the sheets.

While I was opening the last pillow something fell out. I raised an eyebrow and reached down to pick it up.

“Eh?” It was a picture of me on my wedding day, smiling. I stuffed it into my back pocket.

That’s not weird at all. Would it be wrong to ask him about it later? I mean it’s not like I was snooping, he knew I was changing his bed spread.

I shook my head and finished up, opening the window to air the room out and tidying up a bit.

I retrieved him from the couch and led him back to his room, he mumbled a thank you and collapsed on his bed.

“What do you want for lunch?” I reached forward and pressed my hand to his forehead, checking for a fever. He was burning up.

“Shit, Gee you’ve got a fever. I’ll get you some meds.” I furrowed my eyebrows and turned to go to the kitchen.

I was halted by the feel of something tugging on my pants. I looked down to see he was pulling me back by the little belt loop hole on the back of my pants.

“What are you do-“

He reached into my back pocket and pulled out the photo. I cursed under my breath, I thought it wasn’t visible.

I froze up and looked away.

“Hm. Snooping are we?” He said, the tone of his voice amused.

“N-No. You knew what I was doing. Why do you have that anyway? It’s creepy.” I grimaced.

“It’s there to remind me of something very important.” He looked away.

“Dude, this is the fever talking let me go get you som-“ His hand gripped my wrist and he pulled me on to the mattress.

“I tried to stop. I reminded myself everyday you were his. I don’t know when it happened or why, but I became jealous. At first I thought it was cause I wanted a girl too, but as time went on it became more than that. I was in love with you Lana, I still am. This photo, it reminds me why I’ve gotta let you go. Cause your happy with him. You never looked more happy than you did on your wedding day.” He sighed, as if a huge weight had just been lifted off his chest.

“What the fuck are you going on about?” My jaw dropped. Was he really saying this? It’s the fever talking it had to be.

“Gerard, talk to me.” I furrowed my eyebrows. I poked his cheek and he didn’t open his eyes. Within seconds a light snore rang through my ears. I grimaced and removed his arm so I could sneak out.

As I left the room I closed the door quietly.

I ran to the kitchen, almost in a spasm.

“Shit shit shit shit shit.” I hissed. What was that? What even?

Gerard, in love with me? Since when? What was it, tough love? Cause he hasn’t been very nice to me for a while now.

I thought back to the time we smoked weed together. That couldn’t have meant anything to him could it?

The only other time we were even remotely intimate was in the tunnels under the library, before and after.

I tried to clear my head, heating up a pot of tea.

I grabbed two mugs from the cupboard and as I went to reach I felt two hands wrap around my waist.

I spun around to be met face to face with Gerard, our noses almost touching.

“Just give me this, Lana. I’ll give you up. I promise.” He sighed.

“Gerard, what are you doing?” I tried to push him away. only to have him come closer, putting his hands on opposite sides of the counter and trapping me. It was reminiscent to something that had happened between Frank and I ages ago.

“Just one kiss?” He whispered against my lips, barely touching them. I trembled for a split second, I wanted to kiss him. I almost did. But I’d be thinking of Frank when I did so. And that was unbearable. It wouldn’t be fair to either of them.

I pushed him away harder this time and he bounced back, taking me by my waist and kissing my neck.

“I said NO!” I yelled at him, now kicking him in the shin and running out of the room.

I was flustered, what part of no does he not understand? Fever or not that’s unacceptable.

Gerard walked into the living room, a look of gloom in his eyes.

I gave him a disappointed glare.

“I.. I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. It won’t happen again.” He said quietly.

“It’s alright.” I sighed.

“Let’s get you back to bed.” I got up and escorted him to his room.

As I was leaving he called my name.

“What?”

“Don’t tell Frank, okay? Please.”

Notes

I KNOW THAT HALF OF MY READERS ARE TEAM MAKE GERARD FALL IN LOVE WITH FRANK AND TEAM MAKE GERARD FALL IN LOVE WITH LANA .

I'm sorry, i can't please everyone :C