Never Mind About The Shape I'm In

" Rard?" Gee is sooo faking confusion. We both know Sass likes him by now.

"Yeah. Your name is too long and I actually like talking to you." He said it like it was obvious.

"You don't like talking to me?" I asked not-so-offended. The feeling was becoming mutal.

"I don't know. You seem like a goody-goody."

"Really? The dude with the lip ring and pack of Malboro is a goody-goody, but the dude with neither makes the cut?"

"I guess."

"You're entitled to your own opinion." We stared at each other. Well I was glaring daggers, but Sass seemed bored out of his mind.

"So..." Gee tried to lighten the mood." What music do you like? I mean I'm just curious because you seem fond of those headphones..."

"Good music."

"Bands?" I chime in.

"Mostly."

"You like the Misfits?" Gee asked. Sass's eyes lit up.

"Hell yeah!"

"There's something we all have in common, then." I stated.

"You should give Pencey Prep a listen." I looked at Gerard dumbfounded.

" You listen to Pencey Prep?" Sass is spontaneously talkative.

"Yeah. I bought an album, but I don't have any merch or anything." I don't know if I should be relieved because he obviously doesn't know it's me, excited because he gives a shit about my band, or offended because he didn't like it enough to buy merch.

"Oh." was all I said. A drawn silence passed and Sass just stared at me. I stared back blankly. "Hey Gee?"

"Yeah Frankie?"

"Can Sass meet the guys at lunch?"

"You don't have to ask me Franks."I hate that. There aren't multiple Franks. There's only one me.

"You know how Mikey gets and there's only one of me."

"I know that I know. I'll just meet you by your locker." I nodded. Then remembered Andy would be stopping by my locker.

"Don't."

"Why not?" Gee looked offended, but I don't want him to know about the Andy thing.

"I'm busy at lunch."

"Okay. We should hang out at my place after school, then." He tried "I got a thing after school today."

"You blow us off every Friday. I'm coming to this thing with you. Okay?"

"Not okay."

"I don't care what it is. I'm coming."

"You really need to listen to me. I mean this-"

"I'm coming." I sighed defeated.

"Fine." He smiled." Can you take Sass to lunch to meet everyone. I mean I just have this thing and I don't want Bert to catch him with all that eyeliner..." Gerard leaned close to me and whispered

"That's a him?" I looked at Sass...
I turn back to Gee."I really don't know."

--------------------------Time Lapse----------------------------

When lunch came, I power walked to my locker. Keeping my head down and dodging careless walkers in shallow crowds. I pick up speed in hopes of missing Andy. I forgot my lunch today, but I don't want to lug English home work around.

I need to relax today, so I plan to sit under my tree and smoke a stick of neatly rolled cancer. Mikey always told me "You don't need it." and "You should quit.", but I doubt I will.Something about it. The act of smoking.

I reached my locker and was about to throw my stuff in when I saw tickets attached to the side of my locker by magnet. Pencey Prep tickets?! Who knows. Are they watching me right now? Did Gee know it was my band and decide to play a mind game and make me feel guilty for not telling him?

I grabbed the tickets and put them in my left pocket because I had my cancer sticks in the right. I threw my stuff in and felt a tap on my shoulder. I grabbed my lighter and turned around, slamming my locker in the process.

It was Sass Master. Sooner or later I'm gonna need to know that chick's name. Guy's name. What was his/her real name? Is it bad that I can't place a gender? Either way I'm not interested in Sass in that way, so it's not like I NEED to know.

"What?" I huff. I need to get to my tree. It's been a janky day. Plus, this dude/chick was kind of cold to me earlier and VERY warm to Gee.

"I couldn't find Gerard..." Sass looked at the ground and rocked on his/her heels. Of course this is about Gerard! Get in line ya sassy little shit!

"Oh. Okay. I'll walk you to their usual spot." We started walking and neared the cafeteria when Sass halted. "C'mon." I urged.

"Where do YOU eat?" Sass pointed at me. At first I didn't understand the question. No one asked that.

"ummmmm...."

"Backwards is moo. You aren't a cow."

"Are you always this bitchy?"

"Yes. Now, answer my question. Where do you eat?" Her finger. His finger? was still in my face.

"By my tree." The hand dropped.

"You have a tree?"

"You could say that... It just reminds me alot of myself."

"How so?"

"It just not livin'." I state flatly.

"It's been cut down?"

"Nope." I smirk because that's a thoughtless answer, so if Gee ever leans his way I can just talk about how witless he is.

"How isn't it living?"

"It's surviving. Sun. Water. Soil." Sass looked more confused... It was cute. Like baby cute. Not like Gerard cute. "That tree is considered a nuisance. It's withering away, but I'm trying to save it."

"How so?"

"I spend alot of time by it. I play songs for it. I know I sound like a lunatic , but I just..." I scratch the back of my neck and kick invisible pebbles. There was an awkward silence. "I don't know." I sighed at my loss for words.

"Damn that's deep." More silence. I began walking again.He/she followed. "If it's not a touchy subject, why don't you hang with them at lunch and after school?"

"Not at lunch because I'm a fan of solitude." I realized how that sounded and quickly added " I mean I like people, but I get tired of culture sometimes, ya know?"

"I know alright. Why not after school?"

"It's a hush hush secret."'

"What is it? Fight club?" I laughed. I liked that movie enough to remember the premiss. "I think I like you Frank."

"You'll change your mind soon enough."

"Seriously, tell me what you do after school. It's not dangerous is it?" Sass looked concerned.

Should I tell the new kid my secret before I tell the guys? They'd probably be mad. I'm just nervous to tell them. I don't care if Sass knows though. Why not? Gee's set on coming to practice anyways.

"I have band practice on Fridays. Sometimes we have gigs."

"What's your band's name?"

"Pencey Prep." I said sheepishly. What if Sass hates what we put out. I hate getting judged.

"I still like you." With that Sass's arm wrapped around my hip. I shrugged it off and kept walking. Everyone at this school knew I was gay-or rather should've figured it out by now-if Sass was a guy no one would bat an eyelash. Homophobia wasn't really a problem. No one cared about some one else's life enough to hate them for their sexuality.

I didn't push Sass away. That would be excersise. I hate exercisise.

"Like I said. You'll change your mind."

"What if I don't?"

"Build a bridge and get the fuck over it." Sass could have passed as a vampire. Gerard and Andy could have passed, too, so I guess I'm meant to be in love with all of these vampires. The only thing reminding me Sass was human was the hard core blush her/his cheeks were showing off.

We got to the cafeteria and bumped right into Andy. Shit. He looks madder than usual. Not like the crazy man mad. Like rabbid dog mad. Oh yeah. He was probably waiting by my locker and I would have felt guilty if it had been anyone else.

"Sorry." Sass piped up apparently unaware of Andy's murderous glare. He tried to walk away, but Andy grabbed my arm and turned us both around."Don't touch him like that you little fuck!" Now Sass is mad. No one in the humungous and crowded (this many people in the room can't be to code) cafeteria seemed to notice anything. Fights occured almost every day, so an arguement didn't draw any attention.

Andy pried me from Sass's iron grip and wrapped his arm around my shoulders. I cringed. When I tried to move away he tightened his grip. I winced. Now Sass was furious. Sure, I've only known the kid for like an hour, but I didn't think he/she could look THIS scary.

"Andy, let go of me!" They both ignored me. I was trying to save Andy's face. I don't like the kid, but it sucks getting beat up at lunch. I know. You have to get through 2 more classes. Well, I chose to ditch every time I got the shit beat out of me at lunch, so twice a week. (Hey. Some people just can't handle the truth.)

"Frankie, tell me who this is." I've heard that voice before. He was about to hit something and by the looks of it Sass was also seeing red.
"No and don't call me that."I spat. He never listens. I could have liked him, but he never listens to anything I say. How many times have I told him NOT to call me Frankie? I stopped counting.

His question did remind me that I don't know Sass's real name. I wouldn't tell Andy his name if I did. He'd just sit around and think of cruel nick names all night. He used to call me names like that, but has taken to pet names and honestly, I miss the bullying. At least then he wasn't hitting on me or acting like I was his.

Sass and Andy bickered. I saw the guys and hoped they could feel me staring. I can feel when I'm watched... or maybe I'm paranoid. I can hope, though. Mikey went to the vending machine - Ray watching him walk - and thank God he looked around when he sat back down. I made pleading eyes. I guess he read the situation because he got the guys to look in my direction. He was on his way over.

Notes

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