So Long & Goodnight

I couldn't believe he just sent me away! After what we did together... I can't believe this happened.
I walked out of the hospital, angrily kicking around at rocks next to me. The sun burned hot on my scalp and I wanted to disappear. Go away. I wanted my aching heart to dissolve and lead me to suuden death.
But I couldn't.
I had to survive.
If I didn't survive, who knows what would happen to... no. I wouldn't allow myself to think like that. Nothing was going to happen. I was going to stay strong. I had a bulletproof heart and it was time to show that.
Though I hated this, I had to carry on. I had to be unafraid. I had to survive....

....and I had to go back and face down my dad.
Crap. He hadn't known where I had been and he would be furious.
What the hell was that Frankie kid thinking when he took me in?
He sure as fuck wasn't trying to protect me because he doesn't love me, he doesn't even like me and he brought me even more trouble by allowing my dad to wonder where on earth I could be.
So why the fuck did he do it?
Did he want to ruin me? That had to be it
The fucking bastard wanted to see me ruined, dead.

That fucker. He played me. And I.... I loved him!
I still did... and as I realised that a tear started to make its way to my eye. I didn't even try to stop it and soon enough my face was wet and my eyebrows were frowned.
I was such an idiot.
He might be a fucker for ruining me,
but I was an idiot for falling for it.
Falling for him...
Totally
completely
irresponsibly
blindly
in love and lust.
What the shit was wrong with me?
Why couldn't I ever just.... like someone who liked me back?
And WHY did I have to be gay?
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAH"
I let out a loud scream and started to cry even more hysterically, gasping for breath, cursing and falling to my knees on the middle of the road. I couldn't care less.

Notes

Righto, took me a while to update, lot of shit has been going on, sorry 'bout that.
Please comment :)
xx