Group therapy. Of all the shitty things I have to endure in this place, group therapy is the shittiest. Three times a week, we sit in a wobbly circle with Dr Ballato at the head of it. She goes around the circle and gives people the opportunity to talk. I've been here nearly two weeks and not once have I used that opportunity. Instead I sit and listen to the others in the circle, listen to them ramble about whatever it is concerns them at that particular moment. Today, Nina was taking her opportunity. She was a young girl, around 19, and she had visions of the future. Well, she claimed as much, anyway. She said it came to her in dreams as she slept. Every vision was wrought with peril in some form, be it pain, death or an imminent apocalypse. Today was an apocalypse day - she was dramatically describing a dream she'd had the night before. I'd been drifting in and out, not fully paying attention, but I got the general idea of her deathly scene. Earthquakes, floods, all that and more. Judging by her face, she believed fully in what she was saying. I glanced around at the range of expressions in the circle. Some were arrogant and condescending, glaring at Nina as if she personally offended them. I thought that pretty harsh - yes, her visions were fake, but it wasn't her fault she had this... illness. Other people just looked bored, and there were a few - just a couple - who stared at Nina as if they hung on her every word. They believed her, I realised. I shook my head. Being nice to her I could understand, but believing in what she spoke of? A step too far. I continued to watch the believers until Nina finished her epic speech, concluding that we were all doomed. Dr Ballato cleared her throat. "Well... um, thank you Nina, for sharing. Now... Gerard, I believe your turn is next." I looked at her. "I'll pass, Doc," I said casually. She frowned. "Again? Gerard, you've been here two weeks and haven't shared once in group therapy. I'm starting to wonder if there's any point you being in the group." The circle was quiet, all attention on our exchange. "There's no point me being in the group, Doctor. Theres no point me being in this place at all, in fact." I sat back and crossed my arms. "As I've told you over and over, I shouldn't be locked up here. I should be back with Frank, where I belong." A stinging pain pushed it's way through my heart at the mention of Frank. I missed him so fucking much, he was barely away from my thoughts. I expected Dr Ballato to shut up now, to sigh and tell me we'd talk in private or something. But instead she studied me with a calculating expression. "Why don't you talk about Frank?" She asked. I stopped. Talk about Frank? In group session? " I'm okay, thanks," I muttered, still surprised. But she persisted, finally having found a topic to push me on. "Come on, Gerard, that's what group is for. To talk about what's on your mind. And it seems like this Frank person is on your mind an awful lot." I frowned down, unsure of myself. Suddenly I felt a presence near me. I looked up and saw Nina leaning forward to me. She was a tiny girl, short and extremely thin, with pale skin and messy blonde hair. She'd moved her face very close to mine. I was shocked, to say the least. I realised belatedly she was moving to whisper in my ear. "Talk about it, Gerard. It'll help you feel better." I stared at her, and a smile ghosted over her thin, pale lips. "Don't you ever wonder why I always talk about my visions? Its because if I keep them in my head they drive me crazy. So I let them out. You should do the same with your thoughts about Frank." And she leant back into her seat beside me without another word. I blinked a few times, and noticed quite a few people staring at Nina with a surprise similar to mine. I thought about her words. Maybe... maybe she was right. I straightened my back. "Fine. I'll talk about Frank," I said with more confidence than I actually felt. Dr Ballato nodded encouragingly. I took a deep breath. "Frank is... amazing. He's kindhearted, caring, he's there for me and I'm there for him. I... I promised I'd never leave him..." My voice was down to a whisper. " But I did. I came here and I left him alone even though I swore I never would. I love him so much, but I couldn't be there and do what I needed to do for him." I felt a tear run down my cheek and I wiped it away, embarassed. Everyone was looking at me now. Bob, I noticed, looked surprised, as if he hadn't expected me to show so much emotion. Though he was my closest friend in this place, I hadn't shared much with him on this topic. Dana had a compassionate look on her aged face, pity clear in her eyes. Nina also looked deeply sorry for me, to the extent where tears were filling her large, innocent blue eyes. Even Dr Ballato looked affected by my little speech. I lifted my chin and tried to sound strong, but my voice cracked. "Frank Iero is my boyfriend, and I love him with all my heart. And I am going to get back to him, because I made a promise and I WILL keep it."

Notes

Voila. Sorry - again - for taking so long. I get distracted easily. But anyways, I got it done eventually, right? Yeah... Well, while I'm here - anyone on twitter, go check out the account @mychempictures!! I Co-own it with two other people. You know you totally wanna follow it ;) Paranoia Violence out xø