Forever is a Long Time . . .

As promised, Frank and I ended our night with a movie; a horror flick of course. Frank’s and my love of scary movies blossomed around grade five, right around the time our parents were telling us to stay away from them. I guess that’s why we loved them so much; it’s hard not to gravitate toward the contraband.

We sat with pajamas on in Frank’s basement with insatiable amounts of junk-food between us. I swear, I gain five pounds just watching a movie with Frank. He sat eating 'Twizlers' while I hogged the popcorn, Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein playing on the screen. It was one of Frank’s favorite movies so of course he insisted we watch it for the thousandth time, though that’s not to say that I didn’t like it too.

It happened again. I’d barely made it half-way through when I started to feel my eyes getting heavier. I readjusted my position to try and keep myself awake, forcing my eyes to stay open. The caffeine in the soda obviously did nothing to prevent the inevitable; I fell asleep right as Dr. Frankenstein brought his creation to life.

Before I knew it, I was lying my head on Frank’s shoulder. I drifted off into the land of slumber, but just before I got there, I heard Frank softly whisper in my ear, “Goodnight, Paige.”

***

What often happened when I fell asleep during a movie wasn’t the same as what I woke up to the next morning. Normally, Frank would wake me up and take me home or at least upstairs to his room and put me to bed. We’d slept over each other’s houses before, but always in separate beds, and more often than not, separate rooms. He’d either stay downstairs on the couch or in the guest bedroom since I was taking up his bed. This morning, though, was a little different.

Frank had obviously, at some point, taken me up into his room and laid me down on his bed. The only difference this time was that Frank was with me.

Instead of going back downstairs, he’d gotten into bed with me, my head resting on his arm. I opened my eyes to see a sleeping Frank just inches from my face. He looked peaceful yet still tired, and it was adorable. He was facing me, eyes closed and breathing softly. One arm under my head and his other hand resting gently on my waist. My hands were placed just over his heart and I could feel his chest slowly rising and falling under my touch.

My stomach started to fill with butterflies as I realized what it felt like to wake up lying next to Frank. I felt comfortable in his arms, safe and protected in his embrace. I wished every morning could be like this, that Frank could be the first thing I see when I open my eyes each and every day.

I tried to stay quiet, not stirring my position as not to wake up Frank. I didn’t want to disturb him and have to end this perfect moment. I stayed silent as Frank stay lying next to me, still fast asleep. I studied his face, taking in the soft contours of his latent expression. It didn’t last long though, not long enough.

Frank’s eyes slowly fluttered open and met mine instantly. He blinked a few times and sheepishly looked back to me with his sultry, sleepy hazel eyes. We didn’t say a word to each other, neither one of us taking any initiative at early morning conversation. I couldn’t even say anything if I tried, all I could think about was how badly I wanted to kiss him.
It was a perfect moment; he was just inches from me, our lips practically almost touching. All it would take was a little lean forward, but I couldn’t do it. I knew better.

“Morning,” Frank finally broke the silence in his sexy, just-woken-up voice.

“Morning,” I replied, trying to keep my voice from shaking because of how fucking nervous I was.

Neither of us made any attempt to move from our positions. I didn’t even think Frank knew where his hands were. I didn’t mind though; I could stay there, lying next to him, forever.

“How did you sleep?”

“Fine.”

“I wasn’t in the way or anything?” he asked, still not making any effort to sit up or move me from him. He had no idea how much I loved being snuggled so close to him like this.

“No, you were good. Was I in the way?”

I thought I saw something change in Frank’s face as I asked this. I wasn’t quite sure what, though. It looked almost as if he were thinking of something, but I couldn’t tell what. “No, not at all.”

I looked into Frank’s eyes and desperately tried to read his expression. I wanted to know what was going on inside his head, exactly what he was thinking about. I feared the worst; what if Gerard had let it slip? What if Frank knew? If he did know, why didn’t he say anything? I needed to talk to Gerard, and if it turns out he said anything, I’d have to kick his ass too.

The moment turned from sweet and cozy to awkward and just shy of uncomfortable. As much as I loved the feeling of Frank’s arms wrapped around me in his bed, I was starting to feel the need to end it. It was a strange feeling really: being self-conscious, especially around Frank, my best friend. I didn’t like it, and though I never wanted to have break away from his embrace, I had to.

I cleared my throat a little to break the silence. “Well, I think I should . . . be getting home now. My parents are probably wondering why I never came home last night.” I started to sit up, Frank following and moving his hand off my waist. I felt a cold emptiness where Frank had just been holding me and the moment had officially died. Frank and I sat away from each other, back in the realm of ‘just friends.’I tried to suppress my longing, already wishing I was back with him, his arms holding me close.

“Sure, okay.” We both stood up and Frank walked me downstairs. His parents weren’t home; they’d probably left earlier that morning, and I wondered if they’d seen me and Frank together in his room. If they had, did it worry them? Frank and I weren’t really supposed to be sleeping in the same bed together; that had always been a clear rule that our parents had set right from the beginning, so I hoped neither of us would get in trouble.

“Uh, I’ll see you later then?”

“Sure, we’ll talk. Bye Frank.” I walked back across to my house, thinking back to the feeling of waking up next to Frank. I already wished I could be back there. I also wondered what was up with Frank; he’d seemed a little weird this morning, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on what was wrong.

I couldn’t help but jump to the conclusion that Gerard had told him something, and that was a terrifying and worrying thought. To think that six years’ worth of hiding my secret had been unraveled scared the shit out of me. I needed to talk to Gerard. Now.

I skipped going home, walking right past my house and continuing down the street to Gerard’s.Mikey answered the door, still in his pajamas. “Hey, Paige.”

“Where’s Gerard?” I asked, barely acknowledging his greeting.

“It’s nice to see you too,” he said back with a hint of sarcasm.

“Sorry. Hi Mikey, where’s Gerard?”

“He’s still sleeping, why?” I didn’t even answer him, I just went right down into Gerard’s room. I turned on the light and sat down on the edge of his bed, but he didn’t wake up. I bounced a little to try and stir him but he slept like he was dead and it would take a little more to get him up. “Gerard,” I spoke to try and wake him. Nothing. “Gerard, wake up,” I said a little louder so that he’d hear me, but still he stayed sleeping and I was losing my patience.

I threw off his blanket hoping the cold air might wake him up but somehow he still stayed sleeping. Maybe he really was dead? I took hold of his arm and shook him gently. “Gerard,” I practically screamed at him. “Wake up! I need to talk to you.”

I heard him groan in protest before reaching for his blanket again and pulling it back up over his head. “Later,” he whined, the sound getting muffled under the sheets, Gerard obviously not wanting to have to get out of bed. I pulled off the blankets again and sat on them so that he couldn’t hide underneath them again. “Gerard, this is serious. I think Frank knows.”

He gave in, rubbing his eyes and finally sitting up in bed, admitting defeat and surrendering to the fact that he wouldn’t be going back to sleep anytime soon. “Knows what?”, he asked, stifling a yawn. Boy, was Gerard a moron when he just woke up.

“That I . . . you know . . . him.”

“What, that you’re in love with him?” he teased in a mocking tone, probably to get back at me for waking him on a Sunday morning. I punched his arm, earning a recoil from Gerard. “Don’t joke around about this!”

He snickered in response before saying, “Okay, okay. No need to beat me. Why are you so sure all of a sudden?”

I hardened my expression a bit before responding, suggesting to him that he had something to do with it. “I was hoping you’d know something.”

“Wait, hold on. I didn’t say anything to anyone. I swear, Paige; I wouldn’t do that to you.” I could sense the sincerity in his voice, but I wanted to make sure. “You didn’t say anything? Not even one little slip?”

“No, I haven’t said anything, not even to Mikey,” he plead, and I believed him. “Paige, what happened?”

I sighed, accepting that Gerard hadn’t said a word. I felt stupid that I’d thought that he’d betrayed my trust, but Gerard was a good friend and he wouldn’t ever do anything to hurt me. “So last night I was over at Frank’s house and we were watching a movie. It was kind of late and I fell asleep. I tried to stay awake, but I couldn’t. I fell asleep . . . on Frank.”

“Okay, so you fell asleep at Frank’s; no big deal.”

“Yes, big deal!” I snapped back. “I fell asleep leaning on him, and then this morning, I woke up in his bed, with him!” I emphasized my words to stress the seriousness of the situation, Gerard’s eyes widening in shock. “Whoa,” he replied. “This is serious. Did you guys . . .?”

“Eww, Gerard. No. We didn’t . . .” I took a breath to gather my thoughts. “It’s just that when I woke up with him, he seemed kind of different. I don’t know how, but I think he knows and was . . . I don’t know.”

“He was what?”

“Maybe he doesn’t want to be my friend anymore.”

“Paige,” Gerard said, sounding a little sad. It was hard to think that Frank would ever not want to be my friend, but seeing the look on his face this morning, I couldn’t help but wonder. “No really,” I defended. “Would you be okay knowing your best friend was in love with you?”

Gerard was silent.

“Exactly. Gerard, I don’t know what I’d do without Frank; he’s my other half. I can’t lose him. What do I do?” I pled for advice. I couldn’t bear the thought of losing Frank.

“You have to trust him. You said it yourself; you two are best friends and I’m sure he’d be just as upset to lose you as you would be to lose him.” Gerard was right. Frank and I always trusted each other no matter what. I needed to believe that Frank wouldn’t want to lose his best friend and that he wouldn’t do anything to change what we had going on. “You’re right,” I confirmed. “I shouldn’t sell Frank short.”

“Exactly, and hey, he’s probably still oblivious and he just acts weird in the mornings. Just keep it cool and act like you always do around him.” Too bad that’s what I always did: act.

Act like everything was normal. Act like it was mutually platonic. Act like I wasn’t in love with him.

It’s not exactly what I wanted to hear, but I still took some comfort in Gerard’s words.

“Thanks, Gerard.”

“Anytime. Now if there’s nothing else you’re going to freak out about, I’m going back to sleep.” He pulled the covers out from under me and brought them up over his head again. I sat there for a moment longer before getting up and walking to his door. I shut off the light and smiled to myself. I looked back to him one more time before whispering, “Night, Gerard,” and quietly closing the door.

Notes

Sorry that this chapter is a bit of a filler, although it was necessary to continue on with the story, but if you haven't noticed, today isn't Friday and I updated anyway. I realize this story is dragging on a bit, but after this one, there are only TWO chapters left, so shit is gonna get real, very soon...

P.S. I don't own Twizlers or Mary Shelley's Frankenstein