When the Lights Go Out, Will You Take Me With You?

***Chrissi's POV***

I waited until I knew Gerard was out of the room, before running to my purse, and grabbing the small blade I carried with me. I don't care that I promised him I'd never cut again, he doesn't care. My own husband hates me now. I can't blame him, though. I'm just a fucking idiot. I brought the blade to my wrist, ready to slice, until I heard the sound of loud footsteps coming towards the room. I hid the blade in the palm of my hand, and looked up, seeing Gerard in the doorway.

"What are you doing?" my voice was raspy.

"I-I can't leave you like this." he sighed

"What? Why not?"

"Because, Chrissi. I know you're gonna hurt yourself. I know you."

"I-I'm sorry." was all I could manage to choke out. What he said was true. But what does he expect?

"Did you do anything to yourself? Honey, please, say you didn't." his voice was desperate

"N-No."

"Let me see your wrists." I sighed, and slowly rolled up my sleeves, showing him my clean wrists.

"Chrissi?" his voice now filled with worry.

"Y-Yeah?"

"What's in your hand?" fuck.

"N-Nothing."

"Don't lie to me. What's in your hand." I gulped and look up at him with sorrowful eyes, before opening the hand that didn't have the blade.

"I'm not an idiot. I want to see both hands." he said sternly. I sighed, and shakily opened the hand with the blade. I stared at the floor, avoiding eye contact. I have no desire to see his facial expression right now. "I knew it.." he murdered.

"I-I'm sorry.." I whispered. He sighed, and ran a hand through his hair, holding his head in his hands.

"W-What can I do to make you stop? I've tried everything. Hun, I'm running out of options here. Every time we get in even the smallest fights, you turn to this. Hurting yourself won't help you, you understand? I mean, Chris, I shouldn't be afraid to come home, thinking that I might find you unconscious on the bathroom floor, because you cut yourself too deep. I shouldn't be afraid to leave you alone, even just to go to the store. But I am. I need you to stop. For both our sake. I told you, I would do what ever it takes to help you get over this bump in the rode, but you need to put in the effort. I can't help you, if you're going to relapse everyday. I love you, and you know that. I know you know that. I'd die for you, Chris. Remember I got sober for you? I need you to do this for me. Please." I sighed, and stared at the small piece of metal in my hands. I closed my eyes, before shakily handing him the blade. His eyes widened as he took the blade from my hands, and threw it in the trash. He came over, and sat next to me, wrapping his arms around my body.

"I'm proud of you. So, so proud." he said, into my hair, as I leaned into his chest. "Everything is going to be okay. I promise you. I'm here to help one hundred percent of the time. I can't stress that enough." I sighed, and slightly nodded. He moved his thumb under my chin, lifting my head up so that our faces were level. "I love you. And I'm sorry I blew up on you a little earlier. I understand you weren't trying to hide anything from me. It was just a lot to take in. I didn't mean to hurt you, or make you feel badly, I-I was just a little overwhelmed with this news."

"It's okay. It's not your fault. I understand why you'd be mad." I whispered.

"Are you excited for the baby?" he asked, wrapping his arms around my stomach. I sighed, and bit my lip, in thought.

"Yeah." I smiled. "A-Are you?"

"If you are, then I am." he smiled. I wrapped my arms around his neck, kissing his cheek.

"I love you, Gee." I said, interlocking our fingers

"And I love you. And not only that, but like I said before, I'm extremely proud of you. We're gonna get through this, I promise."

Notes

Sowrrrrryyy I haven't updated in FOREEEVVVEEERR But here you gooo. Rate, comment, and subscribeee xo<3