What If They Find Out

(A.N. What have I done?!?!?! How do I fix this!?!?!??!?)

Gerard’s P.O.V.

I felt really uneasy about letting Frank leaving my side so soon. I had just gotten him back. But I trusted him. So I let him get a drink and I went back to bed.

After a few minutes of laying there, I realized that I couldn’t sleep. Not without Frank. I hopped out of bed. The second I left my bed, panic rose through me. What if he tried again. I couldn’t ever lose him again. I tried to calm myself down as I walked down the hall. However just as I made it passed Mikey’s room, I heard a soft click and I lost it. That was the sound of a gun loading…

I sprinted down the rest of the hall and into the kitchen. What I saw there made my heart stop. Frank stood in the center of the room with his back to me. In his right hand he held a gun, pointed directly at his right temple. No. This couldn’t be happening. I had to stop him.

“Frank,” I uttered softly, desperately. He remained with his back to me and spoke in a shaking, yet strong voice, “Get out Gerard.” I walked to him and grabbed him by the wrist that held the gun and used it to pull him around. “Frankie, please… Don’t do this,” I whispered as tears began to stream down my face. “Leave Gerard. Take the note and leave,” he said back to me. I could see tears forming in his eyes. There was still something there. Something holding him back. Something he didn’t have last time. (A.N. Comment if you caught the last one there.”

“Frank. I know you. I know that you don’t really want to leave. There’s still something here you don’t want to lose. I can tell,” I said. “So what? What if there is? How is that supposed to outweigh all of the bad things that I never want to even think about again?” He sounded tired and angry and just so very done with the world. I had to stop him. “Because, you have hope. Even though it’s one little bit of hope, it’s still hope. And it’s strong. I can tell.” “You don’t know that Gerard. Please, just leave me to do this. It’s all I have left,” Frank choked out, tears now beginning to fall rapidly from his eyes.

“No it’s not! You have me Frankie! You have me!” I said almost hopelessly. “Shut up Gerard! And don’t call me that!” Frank shouted. He began to put pressure on the trigger. “No!” I screamed and jumped at Frank. I landed on him and we fell to the ground with a loud thud. The gun slipped from his hand and skidded across the tile. I pinned his shoulders to the ground and straddled his waist to keep him down.

“This needs to stop Frank! You are going to kill yourself which will last forever. You’ll never see me again. You’ll never get another chance. You will never be able to do anything but regret. You’ll never get the chance to change things. You never know what the future has in store. Maybe it’s better,” I pleaded. “Well maybe it wont. Maybe it never will be better. And who cares about seeing you again? I’ll finally be able to see my mom again,” He spat at me. That hurt. I knew he didn’t mean it of course. But it still hurt to hear him say he wouldn’t miss me. “Dammit Frankie! Can’t you see I love you!? I can’t lose you again. You and Mikey are all I have. If I lost you, I don’t know what I’d do. I think I would end up killing myself too, just to be with you once more,” At this point, I was sobbing. I couldn’t do this much longer. I might just kill myself now from looking at that lost look in Frank’s eyes.

However it seemed that this was the end. Frank stopped trying to push me off of him. Instead he layed there, crying. He began to shake violently as sobs wracked his small body. I collapsed down on him and he pulled me somehow closer to him. “I’m so sorry Gerard. For everything I said, I didn’t mean it. Of course I would miss you. I can’t lose you either and I’m sorry that I almost did that to you,” Frank let out in between small shaking breaths. “I love you Frankie,” I said softly. “I love you to Gee. Please never leave me,” Frank begged. “Never,” I said. And with that we fell asleep together on the floor, in a puddle of tears, desperation, and love. Undying. Momentous. Incredible. Life saving love.

Notes

I am so sorry. I literally cried while writing this chapter. I have no idea where I am going from here, but let me know if you have any ideas. Comment, DM me, whatever. I love you all! :)