All I remember was a light and pain that radiated throughout my entire body. The kind of pain that makes you forget how to speak. My heart pounded in my ears and every shaky inhale and exhale only made the pain worse.

“Cara? Cara, please don’t!”

Everything was fuzzy around the edges and the last thing I saw before I succumbed into the comfortable darkness was the grey of the pavement.

---

The back of my eyelids were an uncomfortable orange and I squinted my eyes, trying to adjust to the blinding light that faced me. Where was I? It was eerily silent and I was faintly aware that I could no longer feel the pain that had consumed me, nor can I hear my frantic heart beat.

“…Hello?” I called out cautiously.

As my eyes began to adjust to the light, I began to take more notice of my surroundings. I was in a small white room with a desk that took up most of its space. There was a chair behind it, also white and nothing else. I furrowed my eyebrows, slowly growing frustrated.

“Hello?” I tried again “Is anyone here? Can someone please tell me what the fuck is going on?” I stomped over to the chair and started drumming my nails on the desk. From the corner of my eye, I saw my nails were still the same as I had left them: perfectly coiffed and French-tipped.

I sighed and looked around the sparse room. There was literally nothing except for the big white desk and the chair. I was about to give up and walk away when I heard a set of footsteps approaching. I stayed in the chair and braced myself.
Nothing could have prepared me for the person that walked through the door.

“Mom?”

---

I felt my jaw drop as I took her in. It’s been five years, but she still looked the same. Her blonde hair fell in waves, stopping just below her shoulders. Her blue eyes lit up, crow’s feet forming alongside them. Her lips curved into a smile and she stopped as soon as she saw me.

“Oh, baby” she finally choked out after what felt like an eternity.

I was stuck in my seat. I didn’t dare move or breathe or disrupt anything.

“M… mom? How? How can…” my words were barely audible, but she seemed to hear me clearly.

“I know you have a lot of questions, baby” she sat down on a chair that I swear wasn’t there before. “But we don’t have a lot of time.”

“Mom, what the fuc—“

She shot me a disapproving look.

“What the heck is going on? Where am I? Why are… why are you here?” tears pooled in my eyes as I tried to make sense of the situation I was in.

“It’s hard to explain, but—“

“How hard can it be to explain? You’re dead but now you’re fucking not!”

She gave me a stern look, but this time I didn’t back down.

“Ma, enough of the bullshit! What the fuck is going on!”

“Sweetie,” her gaze softened “I’m here because you’re dead too.”

---

I felt like a bag of bricks were dropped—unceremoniously, mind you—onto my chest. I couldn’t breathe. But then I noticed, I wasn’t breathing all along.

“Oh god!” I shot up and tried to feel for my pulse. I put my fingers in front of my nose and exhaled. Nothing.

“Mom?” I felt like a cornered animal and I could tell she was trying to calm me down.

“Baby, it’s okay” she stood up and went over to me and rubbed my back “I’m here to help”

I started sobbing “How can you help me? I’m dead. I’m dead. I can’t even remember… Oh god. I’m dead!”

“That’s why I’m here.” I looked at her through my tears. “I have to let you go back.”

“What?”

“Sweetie, Cara is dead. But you’ve been given a second chance. You’re going back, but not as you. As someone else. Think of it as a fresh start.”

I tore out of her embrace “What! You can’t just fucking uproot me from my life and then throw me in a new one! What about my friends? What about dad? What about my fucking life?”

She looked hurt for a split second but then composed herself and squared her shoulders “I’m sorry, honey but that’s just how it has to be. It seems as though you have unfinished business before you can come with me and you have to finish it.”

“Will I remember anything? God, mom, why is this happening? I don’t understand!” I tried to make sense of what was happening, but I was coming up blank. “What unfinished business? Why can’t I just stay here with you?”

She gave me a sad smile and the hand she had on my back was beginning to feel less and less… there. “You'll remember your life, Cara. But you won't know anything of the new person's life just yet. Bits and pieces will come to you, but when you wake up you'll still feel like you. You just won't look like you because you’ll be someone else completely. Your previous life lacked something and, for some reason, whoever’s in charge here has decided you haven’t lived quite enough.”

My shoulders slumped and I just felt tired all of a sudden.

“I don’t know what to do, mommy.”

Her breath caught—I hadn’t called her ‘mommy’ since I was a little girl “I know it’s hard, sweetie. But I’m here. I’ll always be here. I don’t know how to explain it, but death isn’t as black and white as you would think. I know you can’t understand it yet, but you will.”

I sighed in resignation. I didn’t care what happened anymore. I was tired and sad and I just wanted to curl up in a ball and feel sorry for myself.

“I love you forever, baby”

Her voice faded into nothingness and before I knew it, everything was dark again.

Notes

Hello! I've read quite a few stories on this site and I guess all your superb writing inspired me to rewrite a fic I wrote yeaaaars ago. I hope the formatting isn't fucky, I haven't quite got the hang of it yet.

Anyway, hope you guys read and enjoy my story! Comments and such are very welcome.

:)