Don't let 'em Take the Light Behind Your Eyes

"Bye Lex, take care of yourself okay?" Trevor said giving me a hug.
"You too Trev, I'll be back this summer to visit." His grip was so tight around my waist, his hugs were a lot like my grandma's. I was really going to miss her, but Trevor and I are going to get through this no matter what.
"I'll see you soon kid." He let me go and looked over and Gerard. "Gerard, get over here son." Gerard complied walking the length of the room and standing in front of my uncle, he pulled him into a hug. Gee's eyes went big not expecting the sudden attack, "You take care of yourself, and Lex okay?"
"Will do Trevor, you take care as well." Gerard replied.
"Bye Trevor."
He waved as we went into the airport for the plane ride home. The guys had left yesterday and my parents weren't due to leave until tomorrow. Good I want one more day alone in my house before all the shit starts.
*
It was pitch black when we finally made it back to Belleville. All I really wanted to do was sleep and be alone, I can feel myself going back into a dark place again and I don't like it. There's like this black void surrounding my life and I can't seem to get out of it, there's never any light, but when I met Gerard and became friends with him there was a light but now it's gone again.
I flopped onto my bed after feeding Luna and cleaning her litter box, which Frank had done a fantastic job of taking care of while I was gone. Luna was currently laying on my stomach, and I was petting her tail, while watching Edward Scissorhands. I heard someone come up the stairs and I tensed up, knowing no one was home.
"Gerard? Is that you?" I asked.
"It's me." He stepped into my doorway, "Sorry your front door was unlocked. But don't worry I made sure everything was locked before coming up here. You do realize we live in a neighborhood where murders occur right?"
"I must've forgotten in my haste to get upstairs. I don't like being alone downstairs I feel like someone is watching me it's silly."
He looked over at me and brushed my hair out of my eyes, "I love you."
I grinned at him and pulled him towards me, "I love you too Gee."
"Do you mind if I stay here tonight?"
"Of course not, I'd actually feel better if you did."
We both settled into my bed and pulled the blankets around our respective bodies to watch the movie. But by the time we were halfway through Gerard turned to me, "Hey Lex."
"Yes?"
"Are you really classically trained in piano?"
I nodded looking back at the T.V.
"Would you play for me? Please?"
I sighed, "Yeah alright, follow me."
I threw my blankets back and grabbed Luna and started downstairs and into the room that held all my musical instruments I didn't have in my room. My piano was right in the middle, it used to be my grandfather's but he left it to me much like most of his possessions. I sat down on the bench while Luna went over to Gerard meowing for him to pick her up, which he complied to of course.
"What do you want to hear?"
"Anything."
I nodded and placed my fingers on the keys, starting the tune to Beethoven's Bagatelle, one of my all time favorite's to play. I get lost in music while I play my fingers danced across the black and white keys of my beloved piano, something I had missed doing. When I finished I looked over at Gerard who's mouth had gone slack.
"That was amazing. Can I hear something else?"
"Why not." I again placed my fingers on the keys and started Mozart's Fantasie in D minor another of my favorites, again as my fingers danced across the keys I got lost putting all my heart into what I was playing and as the last measure of the song faded away, I looked over at Gerard.
"How?"
I raised my eyebrow at him, showing him I wasn't sure what he was asking.
"How long have you played?"
"Since I was five."
"So you're like a music prodigy?"
"I wouldn't say I am but according to my family I am, I just understand music no big deal. I took it up because I couldn't play sports and my parents didn't want me running around doing nothing so I took lessons from my grandfather, that's how I spent my saturday afternoon's at my grandparents perfecting the piece I had been working on."
"How long has it been since you've played?"
"Since my grandfather passed away, so years."
"And you can still play like that?"
"Like I said music comes naturally to me, like math or science to others, art comes naturally no big deal."
"That's a huge deal Lex, you are so talented, can you play a song on your guitar for me?"
I shrugged, "Sure." I went over to my black guitar in the corner and picked it up slinging my strap across my body, tuning it and starting one of my all time favorite songs, Come As You Are by Nirvana. I sang as much as I could but my voice sucked so I stopped by the end.
"You are fantastic Lex, wow."
"Thank you. I prefer the piano just because I've played it so long, it's just hard wired there now."
He sort of just stared at me so I started another tune on the piano until he got his thoughts or whatever together, but it had been almost an hour since he last spoke, "Want to go outside for a smoke?"
"Hmm... Oh yeah sure." He put Luna down and followed behind, we sat in the living room and lit up cigarettes. I turned the TV on and flipped around until I stopped on a horror movie that was playing. We both smoked in silence, flicking our ashes onto the ash tray on the table.
"Want some coffee? I can start a pot."
"That'd be nice actually."
I set my pack and lighter on the table and went into the kitchen starting a pot of coffee. Just as I was about to go back to Gerard the phone rang, I snatched it up.
"Hello?"
"Lex? Is Gerard there?"
"Yes ma'am he is."
"Just making sure, I asked Mikey and he had no idea. Night Lex."
"Night Donna."
I hung up and went back out to Gerard waiting for the coffee pot to be done, so I lit up another cigarette.
"Why do you smoke so much? I mean I've seen you go days without it before but when you do smoke, you just smoke and smoke."
I shrugged, "Why do you smoke Gerard?"
"I can quit whenever I want."
"That's what addicted people say Gerard."
"You never answered my question."
"Just don't worry about it, okay? No point worrying over me."
He was just about to open his mouth to say something when I heard the coffee pot stop so I got up and poured two cups, leaving them both black as the both of us had no problem with it and we were out of milk and sugar.
"Here you go." I sat the mug in front of him while I went back to my cigarette and drank my coffee.
"Seriously Lex if you don't cool it on the smoking you could die."
"Wouldn't that be a shame." I mumbled then took a sip of my coffee.
"It would be actually."
I rolled my eyes over this conversation so I got up and went to my room and put on my record player which just so happened to be playing The Smiths asleep one of my favorite slow songs, Gerard was behind me in the doorway I could tell.
"Will you dance with me?"
"What? I can't dance."
"Neither can I but just come here."
He did and I put his hands on my waist and I put my arms around his neck then we swayed back and forth to Morrissey's voice. I laid my head on his chest and in that moment I felt completely and utterly happy, even thought the song that was playing was so sad being so close the Gerard made me feel happy. I trust him, I would trust him with my life, this boy with black hair, and black clothes, and small teeth, and hazel eyes, that loved coffee, comic books, The Smiths, the Misfits; he was the person that when I was near him I felt at home. I loved him and I knew that if he found someone and they got married that I would still love him and still be there because I can't be without him even if I wasn't the one he was sleeping next to every night I wouldn't care.
The vinyl drifted into the next song and we continued to dance even though it was a little more upbeat, before we knew it the album ended and I lifted my head off his chest and looked into his eyes. He smiled down at me the adorable little smile with his little teeth.
He lifted me off the floor and placed me onto my bed and laid beside me after switching the lights off.
"Good night Lex."
"Night Gerard."

Notes