Oh Baby Let Me In.
I don't Care How Much You'll Invest Yourself In Me.
"I told you I don't need any fucking help!" Frank snapped at his father.
"It's already been decided, you're going to see a psychologist today whether you want to or not."
"I'm not mental, I don't have any fucking problems, and I don't need to see some fucking stupid therapist!"
"Psychologist." Mrs. Iero corrected him.
"Whatever." Frank mumbled crossing his arms together and leaning back against the car seat angrily.
"We're only trying to help you." Franks mother said softly.
Yeah right. What they were really trying to do was "fix" him for their sake, not his. For the family's image. What he really needed was booze and his friends to get wasted with.
"I've heard Dr. Way is one of the best here so you're lucky to have gotten him, you should be thankful Frank." His mother said quietly. They were sat together in the waiting room.
Frank scoffed. Thankful for what? He could care less.
They waited ten dumb long minutes for his name to be called before being taken to a room. The lady who'd taken Frank knocked on the door first opening it without hesitation. His mother would be out in the waiting room for the hour.
"New patient, Frank Iero, files on the door." She was gone in less than a minute leaving Frank standing there like a lost angry puppy.
"Why don't you take a seat?" Dr. Way said shutting the door and taking the file the desk lady or whatever told him about.
Frank sat down on the couch just because and wondered what the hell was in his "file". It's not like he'd broken the law or served time in juvenile.
"What’s in it?" Frank asked not able to keep his curiosity at a low.
Dr. Way sat on the made for one person sofa, placed exactly in front of the couch Frank was sat on. "That’s confidential.. I'm afraid I can't tell you but let's start off with you telling me a little about you."
Why the fuck would it be confidential if it was about him? How could other people, strangers be able to see it and not him?
He starred at the messy haired, pointy nosed man in front of him. There was no way on earth he was going to tell this man about his so called problems.
"Will it be better if I tell you something about myself?" The man asked, purposely dropping the file on the floor.
Frank eyed the file and then looked up to meet the man’s eyes "No." Frank looked at the file again. "Why can't I fucking know what's in my file? It's my life isn't it?"
"Yes it is Frank but it's a policy patients cannot look at their file. I'm sorry."
"Well that’s fucking bullshit and I'm not going to open up to you out of all fucking people." Frank spat angrily.
"You kind of remind me of my younger self.. No one’s going to force you to talk me, if you don't want to talk today that’s fine. It takes time, I understand."
Frank leaned back crossing his arms together like he always did when he was mad. "No you don't. Why does everyone say that? No one really knows how anyone really fucking feels."
"You're right. It's a load of crap right?"
Was this man trying to get on Franks good side or was he truthfully agreeing?
"You're just saying that to get me to talk."
The man smiled a little sadly. "No I meant it, look I used to be like you and I think I could help you, if you let me.. I know what it's like and I get that you hate me but I used to be fucked up too and my parents took me exactly to this place to get help and I did."
Frank felt the young psychologist was being sincere but part of him still wanted to be an ass.
"Oh yeah. What did you do huh?"
"Got high 'til my nose bled."
"You did coke?" Frank had gotten high before but never did any of the serious stuff so coke was a fucking big thing.
Dr. Way nodded. "I'm not exactly supposed to tell you that so don't tell anyone okay?"
"I won't. What else did you do?" Now he was really interested in his new psychologist.
"I drank a lot, took pills, Xanx, Oxycone, Percocet, overdosed a few times."
"You tried to die?"
"Yeah and I would have if it wasn't for my younger brother finding me in just enough time to call an ambulance."
"What happened after that?"
"I got clean, made a promise to myself and to my family that I wouldn't touch another single drink ever again or snort another line of white powder ever again."
"How long has it been?"
"A little over five years. Sometimes it gets hard but like only with the alcohol. It sucks when you're the only one out of the group who can’t drink but my urge to get high stopped a long time ago."
"You don't trust yourself enough to have a drink?"
"No. I think I have enough control to not get wasted but I rather not you know?"
Frank nodded. "Are you uh allowed to tell me your first name?"
The man smiled. "Yes. It's Gerard. You can call me that if you prefer it better."
"I do. Can I ask your age?"
"Twenty four. I'm not that old yet right?" The man said frowning slightly.
Frank did the math. Gerard was seven years older than him.
"No." Frank said laughing softly. He liked Gerard and decided he could drop the asshole act with him. "You're actually pretty young."
"And you're seventeen right?"
"Yeah. I'm still not legal enough to buy my own booze."
Gerard laughed and looked at his watch. "Well the hours gone by and our time is over."
"It is?" Frank asked looking around for a clock. No he didn't want the hour to be over. He wanted to hear Gerard talk about his life. He wanted to know more about the man.
"Yeah but we'll meet again on Thursday. You're stuck with me twice a week."
Honestly Frank wouldn't mind spending all his time there, in that office with Gerard.
"I guess I'll see you then, thanks?" Frank said getting up and leaving.
Okay so he had to admit he liked his new psychologist and perhaps talking to him about his problems wouldn't be so bad.
"How was it honey?" Mrs. Iero asked getting up to meet her son.
"It was good, uh Dr. Ways nice. Let's get out of here. I'm hungry." Frank shoved his hands in his pockets walking ahead of his mother to ignore any further questions.
What did Dr. Way ask you? Did he help you? Did he fix you? Did he tell you how fucked up you really are?
"How much will you suck me off for?"
"I don't want your money, just lemme suck."
"You're easy huh?"
"Nope, a blowjobs s’all you’re gettin s-sorry bro."
"Better make it good kid."
That was the last thing Frank remembered about the night before. He'd gotten wasted, sucked a dick and that was it. He couldn't even remember what time he'd gotten home or how he even got home and honestly that was something he rather not think about.
He got up out of bed and threw up in his bathrooms toilet until he was sure enough that the booze was out his system. He brushed his teeth thoroughly and showered because his skin felt gross and sweaty. This was the last time he was ever going to party on a school night. Now he had to go to school with the dumbest hangover ever.
"It's already been decided, you're going to see a psychologist today whether you want to or not."
"I'm not mental, I don't have any fucking problems, and I don't need to see some fucking stupid therapist!"
"Psychologist." Mrs. Iero corrected him.
"Whatever." Frank mumbled crossing his arms together and leaning back against the car seat angrily.
"We're only trying to help you." Franks mother said softly.
Yeah right. What they were really trying to do was "fix" him for their sake, not his. For the family's image. What he really needed was booze and his friends to get wasted with.
"I've heard Dr. Way is one of the best here so you're lucky to have gotten him, you should be thankful Frank." His mother said quietly. They were sat together in the waiting room.
Frank scoffed. Thankful for what? He could care less.
They waited ten dumb long minutes for his name to be called before being taken to a room. The lady who'd taken Frank knocked on the door first opening it without hesitation. His mother would be out in the waiting room for the hour.
"New patient, Frank Iero, files on the door." She was gone in less than a minute leaving Frank standing there like a lost angry puppy.
"Why don't you take a seat?" Dr. Way said shutting the door and taking the file the desk lady or whatever told him about.
Frank sat down on the couch just because and wondered what the hell was in his "file". It's not like he'd broken the law or served time in juvenile.
"What’s in it?" Frank asked not able to keep his curiosity at a low.
Dr. Way sat on the made for one person sofa, placed exactly in front of the couch Frank was sat on. "That’s confidential.. I'm afraid I can't tell you but let's start off with you telling me a little about you."
Why the fuck would it be confidential if it was about him? How could other people, strangers be able to see it and not him?
He starred at the messy haired, pointy nosed man in front of him. There was no way on earth he was going to tell this man about his so called problems.
"Will it be better if I tell you something about myself?" The man asked, purposely dropping the file on the floor.
Frank eyed the file and then looked up to meet the man’s eyes "No." Frank looked at the file again. "Why can't I fucking know what's in my file? It's my life isn't it?"
"Yes it is Frank but it's a policy patients cannot look at their file. I'm sorry."
"Well that’s fucking bullshit and I'm not going to open up to you out of all fucking people." Frank spat angrily.
"You kind of remind me of my younger self.. No one’s going to force you to talk me, if you don't want to talk today that’s fine. It takes time, I understand."
Frank leaned back crossing his arms together like he always did when he was mad. "No you don't. Why does everyone say that? No one really knows how anyone really fucking feels."
"You're right. It's a load of crap right?"
Was this man trying to get on Franks good side or was he truthfully agreeing?
"You're just saying that to get me to talk."
The man smiled a little sadly. "No I meant it, look I used to be like you and I think I could help you, if you let me.. I know what it's like and I get that you hate me but I used to be fucked up too and my parents took me exactly to this place to get help and I did."
Frank felt the young psychologist was being sincere but part of him still wanted to be an ass.
"Oh yeah. What did you do huh?"
"Got high 'til my nose bled."
"You did coke?" Frank had gotten high before but never did any of the serious stuff so coke was a fucking big thing.
Dr. Way nodded. "I'm not exactly supposed to tell you that so don't tell anyone okay?"
"I won't. What else did you do?" Now he was really interested in his new psychologist.
"I drank a lot, took pills, Xanx, Oxycone, Percocet, overdosed a few times."
"You tried to die?"
"Yeah and I would have if it wasn't for my younger brother finding me in just enough time to call an ambulance."
"What happened after that?"
"I got clean, made a promise to myself and to my family that I wouldn't touch another single drink ever again or snort another line of white powder ever again."
"How long has it been?"
"A little over five years. Sometimes it gets hard but like only with the alcohol. It sucks when you're the only one out of the group who can’t drink but my urge to get high stopped a long time ago."
"You don't trust yourself enough to have a drink?"
"No. I think I have enough control to not get wasted but I rather not you know?"
Frank nodded. "Are you uh allowed to tell me your first name?"
The man smiled. "Yes. It's Gerard. You can call me that if you prefer it better."
"I do. Can I ask your age?"
"Twenty four. I'm not that old yet right?" The man said frowning slightly.
Frank did the math. Gerard was seven years older than him.
"No." Frank said laughing softly. He liked Gerard and decided he could drop the asshole act with him. "You're actually pretty young."
"And you're seventeen right?"
"Yeah. I'm still not legal enough to buy my own booze."
Gerard laughed and looked at his watch. "Well the hours gone by and our time is over."
"It is?" Frank asked looking around for a clock. No he didn't want the hour to be over. He wanted to hear Gerard talk about his life. He wanted to know more about the man.
"Yeah but we'll meet again on Thursday. You're stuck with me twice a week."
Honestly Frank wouldn't mind spending all his time there, in that office with Gerard.
"I guess I'll see you then, thanks?" Frank said getting up and leaving.
Okay so he had to admit he liked his new psychologist and perhaps talking to him about his problems wouldn't be so bad.
"How was it honey?" Mrs. Iero asked getting up to meet her son.
"It was good, uh Dr. Ways nice. Let's get out of here. I'm hungry." Frank shoved his hands in his pockets walking ahead of his mother to ignore any further questions.
What did Dr. Way ask you? Did he help you? Did he fix you? Did he tell you how fucked up you really are?
"How much will you suck me off for?"
"I don't want your money, just lemme suck."
"You're easy huh?"
"Nope, a blowjobs s’all you’re gettin s-sorry bro."
"Better make it good kid."
That was the last thing Frank remembered about the night before. He'd gotten wasted, sucked a dick and that was it. He couldn't even remember what time he'd gotten home or how he even got home and honestly that was something he rather not think about.
He got up out of bed and threw up in his bathrooms toilet until he was sure enough that the booze was out his system. He brushed his teeth thoroughly and showered because his skin felt gross and sweaty. This was the last time he was ever going to party on a school night. Now he had to go to school with the dumbest hangover ever.
5/12/13