I had spent the night in the library. Doing nothing. I just lied on one of the couch and stared at the ceiling.
So now, having breakfast with Linda and my father, I was too out of it to realize that they were staring at me, curiously.

"Gerard?" my fathers voice snapped me out of my trance.


"What?"


"Are you okay? You look kind of sick."


"I'm fine."


He kept staring at me as I sipped my coffee. He wasn't buying it. He knew something was wrong.
But he didn't say anything and just went back to eating. Linda was looking intently out the window. Probably feeling awkward being stuck in the middle of a family argument...if you could call my father and I a 'family'.

I wanted to take advantage of being able to talk with Linda to ask her about Frankie, but I didn't even know how to ask. I didn't want to sound rude but,
"What does Frank have?" I felt like punching myself for asking.


It was rude. Very rude. And mean. And it just sounded horrible.
Linda looked startled. She hesitated, like she knew but didn't want to answer. In the end she finally spoke. "Well, when he was little, Frank fell of a chair...he hit his head and has slight brain damage...and he was recently diagnosed with...schizophrenia."

I clutched my mug harder. Felt it burn my skin and remind me this was real.
Schizophrenia and brain damage.
My poor Frankie.

He's not going to get any better. At least he doesn't hallucinate, right? Or maybe, all those mean thing his 'mom' told him, weren't really Linda's doings? Maybe he hears voices?
"Does he...take anything?" I ask a few minutes later.


She, again, looked like she didn't want to answer, but gave in, "Yes, something to, uh, stop the...v-voices...Sometimes he...takes sedatives."
She looked just plain embarrassed. She didn't care that Frankie wasn't going to get better and that he may not live a normal life. All she cared about was that her kid wasn't good enough to be at the table with the rest of us.

I was suddenly too mad to sit here with them. I pushed my chair back, scarring my father and making Linda jump in her seat.
I stormed out of the dinning room, not bothering to excuse myself, and made my way to the kitchen.
I found Lori standing by the large marble island, Frankie's breakfast sitting on a tray in her hands.

"That's for Frank, right? I'll take it to him."
She nodded and handded me the tray. Lori gave me a strange look, like she was going to say something but decided against it.
I took the tray and walked out of the kitchen and up the four flights of stairs to Frankies room.
I knocked on the door and waited.

And waited.

And knocked again.

"W-who is i-it?" I finally got a reply. Frankie sounded like he had just been woken up.


"It's Gerard, I have breakfast."


"Nguh...c-come in."
By some miracle I managed to get the heavy door open without spilling anything and walked in to the room to find that Frankie was still in bed.
He was curled up in the middle of the bed, covers pulled up over his head.


"Frankie, get up." I placed the tray of food on the same coffee table we had used the other day.


"N-no. Eat o-on bed." was his muffled reply.


"Uh, breakfast in bed? Okay."


I picked up the tray again and walked over to the bed. Frankie poked his head out of the cocoon of blankets and looked ta me curiously.
He hair was all over the place and his eyes were only half open, so cute.
I put the tray on the nightstand and just kind of stood there. Not knowing what to do.
"S-stay, yes?"


"I don't think I should" I turned around and started to leave.


He sat up and grabbed my hand. His skin was so soft and warm, "S-stay...p-please?"
He looked up at me with big, beautiful, sleepy eyes. How do I say 'no' to him?

He smiled sleepily and sat up in the bed, pulling back the covers and sitting me down next to him. Then he pulled the covers back up.
"P-pass the f-food."

I was still kind of shocked and didn't really know what had happened. One second I was leaving and the next I was sitting in bed with Frankie.
"Gee-rawrd?"
I snapped out of my trance and passed the tray, placing it in front of Frankie, who was sitting cross-legged under the covers.

I crossed my legs too. Though it was a little awkward because I was wearing tight jeans, but I managed.
Frankie was eating a waffle and didn't notice my awkwardness.


"W-want some?" he poked my closed lips with a forkful of waffle.


I opened my mouth and ate it, because I was hungry since I didn't have breakfast. I probably shouldn't have eaten it though, because Frankie took that as approval to feed me forkful after forkful of waffles and fruit.

It's not that I wasn't hungry, I just thought it would be inappropriate.
But Frankie looked so happy. His smile widened with every bite I took. And he would look up at me with those beautiful eyes, how could I say 'no' to him?

"Frankie, I'm full." I groaned.


He looked up at me and pouted, "O-one m-more, p-please?"
I looked in to his beautiful hazel eyes. So beautiful. How can I say 'no'?
I just opened my mouth again and ate the fruit Frankie was so adamant on me having.


"Y-you h-hot?" Frankie's question took me of guard.


"What?"


"J-jacket." he answered simply.

Oh. What the fuck was I even thinking?
Now that he mentioned it, it was pretty warm in here.
I stood up off the bed and took of my jacket, so I was only in my black button up shirt, then I kicked off my converse
.
I looked up and found Frankie staring at me curiously.
He crawled over to where I was. Yes, crawled. He got down on all fours and crawled over. And I can't believe I was just staring at him like that. He's just a kid. I can't think stuff like that. I wouldn't want to hurt him.

When he got to me, he stood on his knees, for the first time since I met him I forgot how young he was, how innocent he was.
Having him right there. Seeing his big hazel eyes up close, they were even more beautiful than what I had thought.
He didn't look all that much like a kid. He looked like a teenager in so may ways.
Like, how he would glare at random things he didn't like, how he would refuse to do anything he didn't like...the way he swayed his hips when he walked...I'm so going to hell for that.

He poked my arm and frowned, "T-thought you w-would be s-squ-squishy."
He looked up, hazel eyes big and beautiful.


"Uhm" that's all my brain could come up with when Frankie was so close.


He leaned his head on my chest, right over my heart, and draped his arm around my neck, "I L-like y-you l-lots."
I wrapped my arms around him. So small, so delicate. So beautiful.

This is wrong. So wrong. I shouldn't be thinking like this.
But I'm not hurting anyone. Frankie hugged me first. What was I supposed to do? If I said 'no' I would hurt his feelings.
But that's not all of it is it? You want to hug him, be near him. You would have done it if he hadn't done it first.
But it's wrong, Gerard, stop thinking these things.

"I like you too, honey."

Notes

Hello! So, yeah. Here is this! Hope you guys like it!

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