See The Rust Through Your Playground Eyes

The rest of the drive was quiet, only my thoughts and Frankie humming quietly to himself, he was looking out the window at the trees whurring past us. I was trying very hard to focus on the road and not the words that kept popping in to my head. But I wasn't hurting him, he's happy, he
"C-can we g-go in t-the w-woods?" Frankie asked all of a sudden.
"Uh, " I turned to look at him for a second, I was having enough trouble driving right, I couldn't stare at him, I'd end up crashing. He wasn't looking at me, anyway, I truned back to look at the road. "Right now?"
He kind of giggled. "N-no, b-back h-home." He clarified.
"Oh, uh- I guess." I thought about it for a moment, not really considering denying Frankie of something he wanted, I couldn't do that. "Yes, okay. We can go."
I hope we don't get lost, I don't go out there very much, I did when I was younger, but I barely go out there since elementry school. I used to go out there a lot, especialy after church, mama made me go every sunday. I hated it, I still do. Not religon, although I don't particarly like that either, I don't like mass. Plus the preist hated me, I never knew why. I wonder what he'd say if he could see me now. If he knew what I've done. He'd have me burned. Anybody would.
I probably would, too, though. If I were somebody else, and I saw my relationship with Frankie from the outside, I'd think it sick and perverted, too. I'd judge and condemn myself, too. 'I didn't hurt him, I love him', I wonder how many pedophiles have said that. I'm just like them.
I gulped and turned to look at Frankie, he was siting with his leg crossed, looking out the front window. He looked beautiful, his skin looked so soft and his hair looked so silky. And his lips, his lips looked just perfect, and they felt perfect, too.
I'm just like them. I kept driving, wanting to drown the thoughts in my head, although, it was clear they were there to stay.
When we got home, Frankie jumped out of the car the second I opened the door for him at the front of the house. He smiled and took my hand and pulled me to the back of the house, towards the woods.
"H-hurry up!" He let go of my hand and ran a few yards ahead of me, pretty fast considering how short he was.
You know those moments in live that you know you will remember forever? Something special about it, that maybe you don't realize how perfect it was untill years after you look back to the memory. The mental image of that moment. When Frankie turned back to look at me, and his hair had been blown across his face but you could see his beautiful eyes so clearly, his skin just glowed. His figure was outlined in the afternoon sun. So, so beautiful. My beautiful little boy, my
"Gee-rawrd?" he had stopped running and was looking at me curiously, I hadn't moved since he let go of my hand.
"I love you." I whispered, he couldn't hear me, he was too far away. "I love you." I repeated, louder. He heard me this time, he smiled and ducked his head, then stuffed his hands in his back pocket, all shy and adorable.
"M-me, t-too." He said sweetly. He reminded me of a puppy right then, a very shy puppy.
I jogged over to him and took his hand, entwining our fingers. I wrapped my arm around his waist, he smiled and blushed, then put his hand over my cheek and we leaned forward and we kissed, and it was perfect. And Lori was probably watching from inside and I might not be doing the moraly correct thing and the entire world could hate me for being a pedophile, so what?
We pulled away a few seconds later, I unwrapped my arm from his waist and pulled him with me to the woods. "Let's go, Frankie, hun. Let's run away, yes? Run away with me."
Frankie smiled, wide and pearly white and sweet and pure love. "O-okay." He answered, blushing furisouly but following me without objection. I smiled just as wide and we quickly started for the forest.
It was chillier there, Frankie's cheeks were a light pink and he was still smiling, wide and happy, I was smiling at him, too.
We ran further in to the forest, carefully dodging trees and and roots that stuck out of the ground. I narrowly missed getting hit in the face with a branch, Frankie laughed uncontrolably at me, I laughed at how happy he looked, pushing the negative thoughts out of my mind, if only for today.
"Gee-rawrd! L-let's p-play h-hide and s-seek!" Frankie exclaimed, wide eyed and exited, after he was done laughing at me near death experience.
"Okay, okay. Go hide." I smiled goofly, still trying to breath right.
"N-no, y-you h-hide." He clarified. He let go of my hand and covered his eyes. "G-gonna c-count." He started to count slowly.
I stood there for a second, then turned around to find where to hide, not thinking about how ridiculous it was for a nineteen year old to be playing hide and seek in the woods.
I found a big tree and hid behind that, but all black clothes aren't exactly camaflajable. I stood there for a couple seconds, hearing Frankie count down to zero. The I heard his light footsteps and smiled as he walked right past me. I stood there for a while longer, thinking he had gone to look somewhere else, then stepped out from around the tree and then having a massive heart failure when Frankie jumped up on my back and wrapped his legs around my waist.
"F-found y-you!" He exclaimed.
He jumped off and wrapped his arms around my neck, facing me this time, his cheeks were flushed and his eyes were wide and bright and twinkling and he was so beautiful. I smiled and wrapped my arms around his waist and we took a few steps backwards, but fell and I landed flat on my back in a whir of leaves, and Frankie fell on top of me, he was so light and felt so small, so delicate, in my arms, at the same time he felt like the whole world.
"I w-win, I f-found y-you." He repeated, his lips hovering close to mine.
"You found me, but I won." I breathed, incredibly cheesy and cliche, but Frankie loves that, and it felt like the right thing to say.
Frankie blushed, deep red and so, so cute. I smiled and reached up to brush a strand of his silky hair away from his eyes and tucked it behind his ear.
"I love you." I gushed, cupping his cheek and tracing his lower lip with my thumb. "I love you, so much."
He smiled, sweet and childish and beautiful, just like him. "L-love y-you, t-too."
Words so grown up coming from such childish lips. He was too young for this, he was playing adult, but that was it. Playing.
But he leaned down and his lips were on mine and they were soft and warm and we fit so perfectly together. Like he knew exactly what I was thinking, what I was dreading. And he knew exactly how to keep the monsters at bay.
He pulled away only a few seconds later, smiling lightly. His long dark lashes casting shadows over his cheeks, his beautiful eyes.
We rolled over so I was on top, Frankie giggled and picked leaves out of my messy hair, then smiled so beauitful and sweet. And I leaned down and crashed our lips together in a hard, but so meaningful kiss.
Yes, I shouldn't be kissing him. Yes, It's pedophilic and sick and perverted and yes, I'd most definately go to jail if either of our parents found out. But they haven't yet. And I'll be damned if I don't enjoy every moment I have with Frankie. Every moment counts.
I licked his botom lip and slipped my tongue in to his mouth when he parted his lips. Then I moced my hands down, under his shoulders and lower back, and cradled him closer to me, he threw his arms around my neck and we fell backwards again, but we were still kissing. And it was sort of humid, and the dead leaves were cold and my back was getting sore and cold. But Franki's delicate body was on top of mine and we were still kissing and he was running his fingers through my hair and lightly scratching at my scalp, and those were more than enough reasons to not care about the cold and wet floor and how much my back'll hurt later.
I was panting when we pulled away. Panting, cold and wanting oh, so much more. Frankie smiled, sweet and young. Damnit, young.
Young and beautiful and inoccent and I shouldn't be feeling any of this. I shouldn't have to be
I reached up to touch his cheek with the back of my hand, smiling lightly at how beautiful he looked. "You're so little."
Strange choice of words. 'Little'? Frankie was my world. But he was little. In the way of; so small, so delicate, too young, naive, hasn't lived enough to know that what I'm doing with him is wrong. Yes, he is very little.
He made a strange face, like a baby eating something sour. I smiled, breathing out a half laugh.
"M-m'not." He murmured.
"You are. You're young, very young." I twirled his hair between my fingers. "And I'm old."
He frowned. "Y-you're n-not o-old." He bumped his nose against mine.
"I'm not exactly young, not compared to you." I ran my fingers through his hair, it wasn't knotted, it never was.
"M'n-not so l-little." He pouted.
"It doesn't really matter, hun. Not to me." I smiled at him and leaned up to kiss his pouting lips.
He giggled. "I d-don't c-care if y-you're old, b-but y-you're n-not."
I laughed a little, he giggled and then leaned down and we were kissing again, just as perfect as always.
He lied down on his back, pulling me with him by the front of my shirt, I leaned over him with my hand above his head and the other on his hip, kneeling between his legs. Frankie tangled his fingers in my hair, pressing me down closer to him, the other on my shoulder, then he bit my lip and sucked on it afterwards, I groaned against his lips. He let go and we kissed again, opened mouthed, all clashed teeth and tongue. I slipped my hand under his shirt, to touch his warm skin, he made a small noise in the back of his throat, I squeezed the fleshy part of his stomache, right under his ribs. He dragged his hand from my shoulder across my chest to my tie, then pulled it undone, I groaned and kissed him harder. He pulled away, to take off my tie and throw it some where behind me and then reconected out lips in a heated, open mouthed kiss. I placed soft kisses away from his lips, down his jawline and finally all over his neck. He moaned when I sucked on his soft skin, pulling my hair and squirming underneath me. I moved back up to his lips, licking his botom lip and slipping my tongue inside his mouth when he parted his lips, rubbing my tongue against his. He put his hands on the front of my shirt and started to undo the buttons.
I pushed away all the negative thoughts that had been clawing at my contious all day and concentrated on what we were doing, the fact that we were doing it in the middle of the woods, that Frankie had finished unbuttoning my shirt and that it was now halfway down my back, that Frankie pushed me back so he could all but tear off my shirt, that he pulled me down to kiss him by the hair and that his tongue was in my mouth.
It was just that for a moment, just Frankie's small hands on my back and his lips on mine. Just his loud moans as I kissed and sucked on the skin of his neck and collar bones, then I bit down softly on the his collar bone.
"M-mh, Gee-rawrd!" Frankie moaned loudly.
He dragged his nails down my back, I groaned against his skin. Frankie wrapped his legs around my waist, the front of our jeans rubbing against eachothers. Frankie moaned, drowning down my soft groan, and pulling me down closer to him. I pulled up away from his neck to kiss his lips, opened mouth and absolutely mind blowing.
And, because of course we couldn't just enjoy ourselfs and be happy for more than two minutes at a time, my cell phone rang. It scared both of us, we were so caught up in ourselfs. It just shattered the moment, the beautiful forest and the peace and tranquility, the only sounds were Frankie's moans, then the ring. We both pushed away, being thrown back in to reality. I reached over for my shirt, my cell phone was in the pocket. Frankie pushed away from me whrn he saw I was going to answer, siting with his legs crossed, picking leaves out of his beautiful brown hair, he didn't look very happy, at all. I gave him an apolagetic look, answering the phone without checking the caller I.D.
"Hello?" I answered bitterly. This was at least the third time we were interupted like this, I'm going to get rid of this damn phone.
"Gerard?" Is that Lori?
"Who is this?" I asked, pulling on my shirt, no chance we'll get back to what we were doing before.
"It's Lori." She answered. "Your parents are on the phone."

Notes

SORRY

I've had big family problems. My parents almost got divorced, I moved across the country twice, my life is shitty, I feel like dying.