See The Rust Through Your Playground Eyes

I felt Frankie pull on my hair, I replied by kissing him harder. He parted his lips and I was more than happy to complie, slipping my tongue in to his mouth and half smiling in to the kiss when he shivered as our tongues touched. He made a little noise, like a gasp only a million times sexier, and god, do I love those sounds. He pulled away a little and then started kissing back and oh my, he just bit my lip. He let go and then we continued kissing. I really want him to do that again, now.

I slid my hand down to his hip, resting there and squeezing his side. He pulled away suddenly.

"Gee-rawrd?" he panted. His eyes big and innocent and afraid.

"Yes, Frankie?" I answered, also panting.

"Y-you d-didn't a-answer my question. Y-you don't l-like me? I-if y-you d-don't 'l-like' l-like me, t-then don't d-do t-this, d-don't k-kiss me."

I sat up and ran my hand through my hair. How do I explain this to him? It's a lot more complicated and twisted then what he can comprehend. Or maybe it's not? Maybe it's not such a difficult decision and I'm just over-thinking it? Frankie has a more simple way of looking at things, maybe I should do that?

Okay, let's see. I love Frankie, he possibly feels something for me. What's the problem? Nothing. Hypothetically, there shouldn't be a problem. But still, I'm stuck battling with my mind over this all the time. There are many more aspects, more points of view. Like Frankie's mental health, Linda and the fact that he's a minor. Most people would say I'm taking advantage of him, that he's much too young, that he doesn't know what he's doing. What if they're right? What if I am, after all, hurting him? I would never forgive myself and I doubt anybody else would, either. But something tells me Frankie does understand it, that he does want this. But even if I assume he doesn't change his mind there is still the rest of the world.

So, no. It is not at all simple. But, we could keep it a secret, right? I'm sure Frankie wouldn't say anything to Linda and it's not like I would tell her anything. It could work, right?

"Frankie, I'm going to tell you something and I need you to listen carefully, okay?"

He nodded, "Y-yeah."

I sighed, "Frankie, I feel a lot for you," he smiled widely and blushed, "and of course I want to be with you," he squealed and lunged himself forward in to my arms. Hugging me and placing a kiss to the side of my mouth, "But," his smile deflated and he let go of me, sitting up and staring at me, waiting for me to continue. I pinched the bridge of my nose, "But, it is not that easy. Just because we both want it doesn't mean we can have it. There are many other things to take in to consideration."

"L-like w-what?" he asked, bitterly. He sounded like a pissed off, know it all, snobby, hormonal teenager and he was glaring at me as if all of this were my fault. What the hell is his problem? Does he think I'm making this up?

"Like your age, your mother, the fact that if we decided to have a relationship we would have to hide it from absolutely everybody because you are too young and we are both men and society isn't very fond of illegal gay couples." I spoke a little louder than necessary.

I didn't really care what society said, but I have a feeling Frankie won't be able to put up with everything they would throw at us.

He looked startled by my little outburst, but recovered quickly, "Y-you're j-just m-making s-shit up. S-stop g-giving s-stupid e-excuses and j-just tell me y-you d-don't w-wanna be w-with me."
I put my head in my hands and sighed, this is so frustrating. Why can't he understand it's not that simple?

What if we let it happen? Just let ourselves do whatever feels natural. We both have feelings for each-other, why shouldn't we be able to be together?

I looked over at him. His eyebrows were furrowed, forming a little wrinkle in his perfect skin. His eyes were a shade darker than usual, but they looked just as beautiful. He was pouting slightly, his lips looking even more kissable. He had his arms crossed across his chest, shoulders hunched and looking just generally pissed.

I leaned over next to him and kissed his perfect pouting lips, just a soft peck, innocent and sweet. He made a cute little surprised noise, not expecting it. I pulled away and cupped his cheek, looking in to his beautiful hazel eyes with swirls of amber and sparks of dark green.

"He have to keep this a secret, okay? Nobody can find out, because if they do, they wouldn't let me see you ever again. Do you understand?"

He smiled softly, "O-okay."

I kissed his lips again, just a quick peck. Sweet and short just like him.
"So w-we're b-b-boyfriends?" he asked, looking down at his lap and blushing a deep crimson red.

I tucked a strand of his silky chocolate hair behind his ear and planted a soft lingering kiss to his cheek.

"Only if you want." I whispered against his skin.

I rested my head on his shoulder, like he had done with me so many times. He placed his hand on my head, tangling his fingers in my hair and lightly scratching my scalp with his blunt nails, "I w-want."

I smiled, Frankie had no idea how happy he made me. I wrapped my arm around his thin waist. I lied down on my back and pulled him on top of me, he rested his head on my chest and entwined our fingers.

This is good, right? Frankie's happy, I'm happy and nobody will find out. I'm not hurting him in any way so, no harm done, right? We can keep this a secret for some time, right? Just until he's of legal age. Then nor Linda nor anybody else will be able to separate us. I love him and there can't be anything wrong with being with him. Nobody can keep me away from him.
I will be with him as long as he wants me to. Not a second less, not a second more.
Everything is going to be okay, right? Everything is under control and we can make this work. Just as long as nobody finds out. If someone finds out, I'm screwed. And I find it nearly impossible to think that we can keep this a secret until Frankie turns eighteen.
But I can enjoy it while it lasts, right? I can make the most out of my moments with Frankie, while it's possible. I savore the feel of his small body wrapped tightly in my arms while I still have the chance.

Notes