Remember Me

Pressing my fingers into the bridge of my nose I sigh, avoiding the eyes that followed my every move as I began to pour myself a shot of tequila.
I was already getting way too sober to deal with this situation.

"Alice," a warm quiet voice coerced from the other side of the kitchen counter. I ignored the voice, practically throwing the shot down my throat in an attempt to use my hands.

Gerard had followed me into my apartment after Randy/Ryan/Riley...whatever...had left. Neither of us had spoken a word to each other as we avoided the others' eyes, me searching for some liquor, Gerard scuffing his feet along my nice cream colored carpet. Screw you, asshole.
"Alice, please look at me."

The pleading tone in his voice had made me blink slowly to look at his face. It was only then that I realized that he looked like shit. His cheeks were slightly hollow, dark circles around his eyes had attempted to be disguised by the cheap looking makeup he rubbed around his eyes, however, this only made him look more hollow...more empty.
If it weren't for his warm inviting irises, he would have looked positively cold.

"Your hair looks stupid, you know."

His crooked lips curled into a slight smirk, and I almost ran around the counter to grasp at him.

"I just wanted to try something different."

God, I missed those lips.

My fingers curled around the edges of the icy cold counter and I felt them turn pink, trying to hold myself back from giving in too easily.

"What are you doing here, Gerard?"

His eyes followed the halo of my hair, sliding down my cheeks to rest on my collarbone.

"I came to apologise."

I roll my eyes enthusiastically. "You are going to need a hell of a lo-"

My words were cut off by the loud ringing of Gerard's cell phone. He looks at the phone and then back to me apologetically, rubbing his hands in his hair.

"It's my mom, do you....?"

I wave my right hand dramatically "Go ahead."

Without another look, I decide to go into my bedroom to change my clothes into a more comfortable jeans and t-shirt, my heart thumping erratically behind my ribcage.
Sliding my eyes I turn to my full length mirror behind my bedroom door, the woman who looked back at me was a complete stranger.

My newly dyed copper hair clung wistfully to my breasts, flopping lazily just above my eyelashes. My skin was pale from the cold wind outside slashing at my cheeks, yet my cheeks were tinged a bright splattering pink that I’d never recognised before. My eyes gleamed with tears that rarely surfaced, and my eyelashes clung together the more I blinked frantically at my own image.

This woman looked famished, desperate and erratic; but somehow she looked good. Maybe it was the hair, or maybe it was the emotion pulsing through my veins like fire, but somehow I looked stronger than what I’d been before.

It was then that I decided I was going to tell him, I was going to tell Gerard that he was either leaving my apartment with the intent to leave me alone forever or we were going to give us a chance beyond sex, and that I was going to ask him to stop drinking.

My mind determined, I fling the bedroom door open to face an empty room. My heart plummets and I turn to the front door to see that Gerard is still here, his back to the wall and sunk down in the foetal position, his arms wrapped tightly around his knees.

It was the stare that made me realise there was something wrong, something so very wrong.
Leaning down to tilt his face in the direction of mine I asked the painful question.

“Gerard sweetie, what’s happened?”

It was then that his eyes welled up with tears and he managed to choke out the words that would flatten any chance of talking about us from that moment on.

“Grandma...she’s gone...”

Notes

Yes, the description is a Britney Spears lyric.
I'm also aware the timeline is completely wrong, but hopefully you'll forgive me for that ;)
Enjoy.