March 3rd 2004

“Oh, what about him!”

I glance at the twiggy man Lois was pointing to, ugh.

“Gross, he looks like he hasn’t eaten a meal in a decade. He also looks like he just turned 18.”
Lois, the manager that I had hired for my bookstore when I wasn’t in and a long term friend from high school drops her pointy red manicured nails on the table and sighs dramatically.

“I physically cannot contain my disappointment at your lack of enthusiasm for finding a suitable man to sleep with.”

I roll my eyes. “You just want somebody to live through.”

Lois had invited me out tonight in order to ‘find me a juicy hunk of man’ (her actual words) to take home for the night.Lois was married to her childhood sweetheart Rhys, and was constantly trying to get me to ‘slut up’ for the benefit of her calling me the next day and releasing the details inside.

I had blatantly refused to search for said hunk of man, however, cleaning my apartment was starting to become a rather bad excuse for a Saturday night at home, and I was pretty sure I could see my face in my kitchen tiles by now.

I sip my drink and turn my vision back to Lois, her white blonde hair scanning the room frantically for someone who might resemble my future husband.

“You are being ridiculous; can’t we just have a drink and drown our sorrows?”

Lois stared at me pointedly “He hasn’t called?”

I shake my head “Oh he’s called; I just haven’t picked up the phone.”

At around the week and a half mark of my silence toward Gerard’s constant calls and messages, he suddenly stopped calling. I figured he’d start again when he got drunk, but I never received a call. Frank had called a few times to not so subtly mention that Gerard was miserable (good) and was giving the band, especially poor Mikey hell while they were on tour.


I wave a waitress down and order a vodka “I’m going to need something a bit stronger if you are going to insist we talk about that asshole.”

Lois sighs, resting her chin in her hand and looking at me as if I was some silly little girl who had just broken up with her first boyfriend. “I hope you don’t give in, I kind of like you scorned.”

Taking my drink from the waitress I take a large gulp and glare at her. “I am not scorned.”

She laughs, and I felt the urge to get up and leave. A bubble of anger at everybody but me not taking this ‘best friend breakup’ seriously.

“I don’t need friends like him, I’m perfectly fine, I’ve got you, and Izzy and...people...”

Lois’ phone suddenly buzzes from next to her drink.

“Hello? What? Yes....oh, god...” she looks up at me apologetically, her perfectly sculptured eyebrows furrowing. It was actually amazing that the woman could even frown with the amount of eyebrow she had left“...yes, I’ll be right there, tell her I’ll be there.”

Throwing her phone into her handbag and grumbling something incoherent, she gets up on her feet. I give her a questioning look.

“It’s mom again.”

I bite my lip to stop the giggle threatening to escape my lips.
Lois’ mother was much older when she gave birth to her only daughter, and as a result 27 year old Lois has a 70 year old erratic mother whom escapes her nursing home constantly and runs off to the nearest bar to get plastered and pick up ‘young fellas’ to take home with her.
She’s never gotten as far as the first drink, as the bartender knows her, and usually calls Lois to come and pick her up.

“Go, if you don’t leave now she’ll be having an orgy in one of the public bathrooms.”

“Thanks,” Lois mutters and bends down to kiss my cheek, hurriedly grabbing her handbag and running off in the direction of the exit.

Alone again, I decide to order another drink to keep me company. Four more drinks later, I’m being chatted up by the same skinny boy that Lois had pointed to earlier.

His name was Ryan, and was studying to be an actor. He had bragged about the toothpaste commercial he had been in which I admitted I had not seen, and actually pulled out his phone to show me the goddamn thing.
Staring into his round innocent blue eyes I decided that he wasn’t as young as he first looked – he had stubble and his hair wasn’t long, it was short and blonde. I liked that.

The best part about him was that he looked absolutely nothing like Gerard.

Suddenly his lips were on mine, and I was deciding that I was going to take him home with me.
After one awkward taxi ride to my apartment, I was stumbling up the stairs to get to my level, my hand tugging a very nervous looking whatshisname along with me. Why the hell didn’t they install an elevator in this place?

When we arrived at my door I froze. Fuck.

Gerard Fucking Way stood at my door, dressed in all black, a grey and black striped scarf wrapped around his neck. He had a huge amount of makeup on for someone who is supposed to be in a rock band, and had the most ridiculous bright blue streak poking out of his jet black hair. I loved it.

Blinking slowly I realised that we had been standing there staring at each other in silence for god knows how long, and released the breath I didn’t know I’d been holding. Someone cleared their throat from behind me and I realised that kid from the bar was still there, awkwardly standing with his hands in his pockets looking from me to Gerard, confused as all hell.

“Go home.”

I looked up to meet Gerard’s gaze, but he wasn’t talking to me. He was giving the most primal glare I’ve ever seen to poor whateverhisnameis, who probably would have ran if he wasn’t checking my face to see if Gerard wasn’t some crazy stalker waiting for me to get home.

“Are you going to be okay here...with him?” he asks me, and I nod.

“Yeah, uh, Randy, you should probably go.”

“It’s Ryan.” I hear him mumble before practically launching himself down the stairs to get away from us. Poor guy.

I turn around to be met with my favourite hazel eyes in the entire world. Shit.