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Batmans Death Match Would Make a Good Basement Punk Band

Batmans Death Match Would Make a Good Basement Punk Band

Batman’s Death Match Would Make a Good Basement Punk Band

Sometimes, something will seem like a good idea right up until it happens, and Frank was starting to think that maybe he'd been better off in private school. About a week ago he’d considered this the best possible outcome of his parents’ divorce.

Seriously. He hated private school. He's always hated private school- and he's been trying to get his mom to let him transfer for the last two years, and now that he'd actually transferred and gone to the public school in Belleville he was starting to think it wasn’t such a good idea. Maybe he just hated school.

He scuffed his worn and peeling Converse against the bent leg of his wobbly chair and thoroughly ignored his English teacher, God he'd hated this book when he'd done it last year too.

Okay- So maybe everything wasn't all bad. The being able to wear whatever he wanted was awesome. And he didn't miss having to get up super early to take the city bus to school either. He hadn't even been shut in a locker since he transferred. But he was also pretty sure no one had spoken to him yet either- it had been almost three weeks. He was starting to go insane.

He couldn't even focus on class, he'd covered everything they were teaching at the end of last year, he was getting twitchy. He tended to get in trouble when he got twitchy. And he really didn't want to get shut in a locker again.

He'd started to muse-- if cartoon Batman and the Dark Knight movie Batman got locked in a room and had to fight to the death, who'd win-- when someone bumped his chair. And he was back in 2nd period English class and not trying to come up with a room that could actually hold TWO Batmans long enough for them to have a death match.

Someone had slid into the chair next to Frank; he was tall and thin, with square glasses that slid to the end of his nose, and he wore a striped beanie. Frank kind of shuffled over trying to give beanie-boy more space at the so not two-persony two-person table.

“Batman's Death Match, that would be a good band name,” said Beany boy impassively.

“Huh?” said Frank.

Beany pointed to the top corner of Frank's paper, where it said in large spiky letters: “Batman’s Death Match- YEAH!”

“Oh. I wrote that huh?”

Beany Boy nodded slowly, one eyebrow raised- Frank kind of got the feeling he was being judged and was failing. He sighed.

“So- who's the death match with? I'm Mikey by the way.”

“Oh- um I'm Frank. It's Cartoon batman vs. Dark knight movie batman. I’m trying to figure out where to put them so they can’t escape.”

“Valid point-”

The teacher interrupted Mikey- with a question about the recurring social themes in the novel and what they represented about society’s values at the time. Mikey had sighed and rolled his eyes skyward and mumbled something about thematic structure until the bell rang a moment later.

Frank hadn't seen where Mikey had vanished to in the mass of students shuffling through the halls, but when he got to third period American History- somehow he'd ended up in the advance placement class what the fuck- he wondered if he'd see the beanie-wearing wonder boy again.

He figured he wouldn't that was kind of the way his luck was going these days.

Except he did see Mikey again. He seemed to suddenly pop up wherever Frank went. And okay- it was pretty weird, Frank had never had someone be so silently aggressive about being his friend before.

That was the thing about Mikey, he was quite. Like always. And the kid could communicate more with his eyebrows then Frank was able to do in like ten minutes of rambling and flailing.

Which he did a lot. The rambling and the flailing.

especially after he found out Mikey had direct access to all of the things his parents- read mother- expressly forbid him.

Comic books, horror movies and cigarettes.

Frank was pretty sure he'd have annoyed the shit out of a normal person being such an enthusiastic spaz- but apparently Mikey didn’t mind spazzes. He’d just kind of nods and dose that lip twitch thing that Frank is pretty sure his equivalent to a smile.

Except he does kind of mind when Frank gets too enthusiastic and accidentally hits him in the face- mostly because it hurts and makes his glasses go all funny. He also doesn’t appreciate Frank laughing at him after hitting him in face. But that’s only happened like twice, and the second time so wasn’t on purpose. Even if Mikey is convinced it was.

So Frank is pretty convinced that Mikey isn’t normal. He communicates through facial expressions and text more clearly than the average person using words, and he seems to have weird super powers. At First Frank thought his super power was knowing like everyone because apparently everyone one the planet knew MikeyWay, and then he was sure that it was being able to find the best places to sneak off for a smoke and not get caught.

And so Frank thought Mikeyway was pretty hot with his uber tight pants and square glasses and general awkwardness- that got mistaken for being suave way too often-and meant that he ended up like a lot of high school girl who wanted to make out with him- maybe that was his super power.

Frank thought that would be a pretty cool superpower and it’d be even cooler if Mikey used it on him- or something. And that was okay- kind of because Mikey was just a school friend. And it was sort of okay to have a kind of crush on school friends because they only existed in the realm of school- which according to Mikey wasn’t even real life anyway.

So Frank totally didn’t mind having Mikey as a school friend. Because hey- it made school a whole lot less boring, and Mikey would share half is peanut butter sandwich with Frank at lunch which was awesome because schools were like so not vegetarian friendly.

Even if it meant that weekends kind of sucked, but whatever, it was better than being alone all the time, and at least Frank was getting all his homework done with a lack of better things to do on the weekends, and that meant he could do a lot of not-school at school.

Mikey did kind of have tendency to blow up his phone. Like- he’d text sort of half formed thoughts in rapid fire, so much so that Frank would end up sending this massive incoherent paragraph back- elaborating on why Spiderman was a whiny little bitch or the best way to kill Mrs. Caufiled the English teacher.

Mikey thought they should shove verbs down her throat.

Frank wasn’t exactly sure what he thought, other than that Mikey Way was really fucking cool.

It was a Friday at the beginning of October and Mikey had just informed Frank he was going to spend the weekend, drinking coffee and watching old horror movies in his basement.

And Frank was grumbling jealously. He was pretty sure he was going to end up spending the weekend raking the yard- and man he would so much rather be watching horror movies.

Mikey sighed and rolled his eyes skyward, “dude,” he said shaking his head, “you so can’t take a hint.”

“Huh,” said Frank, his half of the peanut butter and jam sandwich suspended halfway to his mouth.

“I mean I have been trying to get you to come over for like since we met, and you obviously are not getting it.”

“Oh- does that mean I should also be watching horror movies in your basement this weekend?” Frank asked hopefully.

Mikey looked pointedly at him both eyebrows raised- No-shit-dumbass was coming across loud and clear.

“You are kind of an idiot,” said Mikey.

“Fuck you man,” said Frank.

Mikey lips did the twitch thing, and Frank kind of felt weird and schwoopy. And fuck, okay that was a problem, because all of a sudden Mikey wasn’t just a school friend, and he wasn’t getting any less cool or attractive and that was a problem, because having stupid sort of half crushes on like real live friends that existed outside the realm of school was a really bad idea. For lots of reasons.

But before Frank could start making crazy list in his head of all the things that could blow up in face about kind of sort of not really liking Mikey Way the the bell rang, and Frank has to go to math and he was pretty sure they were going to have another pop quiz and he was pretty sure he was about to fail another pop quiz.

Stupid Mikey had home economics- which apparently he was pretty much failing- not for a lack of trying; he was just kind of a walking disaster in a kitchen.

Frank had made it very clear he wouldn’t mind trading places. Mikey had snorted and muttered that if only- derivatives at least weren't out to try and end him- unlike the standing mixer. That thing was evil.

Frank had heard that he’d started a fire last week, but hadn’t believed it until Mikey has shown up with a singed sweater. Frank had laughed for ten minutes straight while Mikey scowled at him, but he’d stopped when Mikey threatened to not share his sandwich- cuz a dudes’ got to eat.

Half way through the pop quiz from hell- seriously when had they learned any of this? His phone started to buzz in his bag, fortunately their math teacher was half deaf and didn’t notice because- that would have been an automatic zero for sure. And detention- and fuck that- what was the point of getting a detention if wasn’t even for something fun?

The buzzing wouldn’t stop- whole fuck was Mikey texting him like every three seconds? People had started to glance around at him, and seriously guys? Way to bring attention to the buzzing phone- fucking high school kids.

Frank scanned his paper- if he handed it in he could go, and then maybe he could like shoot Mikey and if he was lucky he’d escape the looming detention. Turns out cell phone regulation was something public and private schools had in common. Maybe he could get Mikey detention too and see how he liked it.

Frank had answered the first three questions, with what he considered to be actual solid answers. Four and five where pretty much bull shit and for six he’d drawn a llama, he was stuck on seven. He was pretty sure they had never learned it- or like that it was actual math.

Sometimes he was sure that their teacher would make up fake math questions just to fuck with them. He didn’t want to leave it blank, cuz that was boring, but then again he didn’t want to take away from the visual impact of the llama- the continuous buzzing of his phone was distracting him from his dilemma- he decided last second to leave it blank and give the llama a hat, and happy with his decision he handed in his quiz.

The moment he stepped outside the room and was able to fish his phone out of the gaping black hole of detritus that was his backpack it stopped buzzing.


He had about 45 texts from Mikey all in varying degrees of distress.

< the mixer is glaring at me it’s going to eat me>

< Death by home ec would be an awful way to go>

< I think I got the stove on>

< it’s not supposed to be humming is it>

There was a blurry picture of his teacher with the caption < observe the sadistic alien overlord taking pleasure in the punishing of its helpless captives>

So it looked like he was going to Mikey’s after school. Fuck yeah. It wasn’t a big deal or anything though- not like Frank had been kind of hoping for this moment for like almost a month or anything. Because that would be lame.

It turns out that Mikey kind of lives in the opposite direction from Frank, on a sort of strangely suburban street, in a very normal looking slightly greying square white house, with an overgrown garden and an SUV parked haphazardly in front of the sagging garage.

Mikey led the way up the old steps to the front door, and kicked it open, “MOM?DAD?GEE?!” he shouted all in one breath, and threw his backpack into open coat closet across the hall-it hit the wall with a bang.

“Guess no one’s home,” he muttered shuffling down that hall, sort of motioning Frank to follow.

Mikey moved around the kitchen on autopilot, starting the enormous auto drip, and digging through an overcrowded cupboard for a half empty box of strawberry pop tarts- one of which he shoved at Frank.

They took a seat at the table, Mikey pushed the mound of old newspapers, and half-finished school work, and comic books on to one of the empty chairs, ignoring what missed the chair and clattered to the floor.

Mikey munched on his pop tart, one eye on the coffee maker across the room, while he was half focuses on sorting through the pile of mail, “Oh yeah!” he said, stuffing the rest of his pop tart in his mouth, and ripping into a large manila envelope with a little zombie in the top corner.

“What?” said Frank, leaning over trying to get a look.

“Gee sent a bunch of new pages- holy shit there’s like 10 of them,” Mikey said, he scooted closer to Frank, his chair screeching against the floor.

“Really? Already- dude he’s so fast-“ Frank leaned over Mikey’s shoulder, trying to get a better look at the new comic pages Mikey older brother had sent.

Frank didn’t know much about Mikey’s brother Gerard other then he was an artist and went to school in the city. But he did know he was an awesome artist. A few days after Mikey had invaded his lonely lunch table at the back of the cafeteria, he’d been copying Mikey’s math homework- Frank and math were obviously not friends- when a lone comic book page had fallen out of his math book.

Frank had grabbed it before Mikey could get to it and his eyes had gotten huge- he’d looked up at Mikey – who looked closed off and more awkward than normal, “dude this is awesome- did you draw it?”

Mikey shook his head, and after some needling had pulled out the rest of the pages detailing Phil the giant Canadian slugs adventures in search of a poutine, and explained his older brother drew it, and sometimes would send him new pages in the mail.

Once Frank was caught up on Phil’s adventures, he was addicted and tended to hound Mikey about getting new pages- Mikey would always text him when a new batch came in, but Frank would have to wait until the lunch the next day to find out what was happening- but that wait was no longer. Here were a pile of new pages hot out the envelope.

Phil had teamed up with a depressed pug named Cupcake and the two of them were fighting a horde of zombie French fries, trying to escape the asthmatic evil overlord Snarf.

It looked like their hero Phil had been cornered, “shit man- do you think Phil will be a zombie slug?” asked Frank, “shut up and turn the page-” said Mikey.

Except that was the last page of comic, rather they found a note with a doodle of a vampire Mikey and Frankenstein- that Frank got a sneaking suspicion was him in the top corner.

Mostly the note said that Gerard had this one really boring class- and that they should expect a whole bunch of new pages in the near future- since he had nothing better to do for three hours every few days. He also said hello to Frank- next to which was a little wavey hand thing- that Frank didn’t get at all but had made Mikey roll his eyes.

And then the coffee beeped, and Mikey was across the room lightning fast, Frank was pretty sure he’d never seen Mikey move so fast. The kid was way beyond caffeine addicted.

After filling two industrial sized coffee mugs, one of which was handed off to Frank, he dragged him down a dark set of very creaky steps into the basement, which sort of looked like an artist studio had exploded all over three bedrooms worth of random junk. The floor was a land mind of paints and canvases, and clothes, and Mikey foot crunched something- which he said was most likely a plate.

They waded their way towards the bed in the middle of the room- “Gee’s kind of a failure at cleaning, but all the cool stuff is down here,” Mikey explained, flopping down onto the bed, motioning for frank to sit or something, before hanging upside down off the side and digging through one of the nearer piles of stuff.

He made a triumphant noise and swung back up onto the bed and tossed a half full pack of cigarettes at Frank, “want one?”

Frank made grabby hands- cigarettes were a cherished rarity, “lighter?” he asked, pulling one of the not crushed ones out of the pack and pushing it towards Mikey

“Lighter….,” Mikey leaned back off the bed and started digging through the mess, “what the fuck Gerard, I’ve been looking for this belt for like ever,” Mikey muttered, and tossed a worn belt onto the bed and kept looking.

Mikey managed to unearth the TV remote, two batman comics neither he or Frank had read yet, seasons 1, 3,4 and 6 of buffy the vampire slayer, two more almost empty packs of cigarettes, and his American history textbook, but no lighter.

Frank took to hanging off the other side of the bed, and poking around a little less aggressively than Mikey in the piles of mess while “Welcome to the Hellmouth” played in the background. He found a lighter under half drawn hipster zombie hoard, in a bowl of what may have once been dry lucky charms.

“HA!” said Frank, triumphantly, sitting up on the bed and thrusting the lighter into the air, “success!”

That’s when the head rush hit him, and he flopped back onto the bed groaning, Mikey plunked the lighter out of his hand, “idiot,” he said lighting one of the unearthed cigarettes.

“Be nice I found the lighter,” said Frank.

“Shut up- Jessie’s about to become a vampire.”

Frank spent the rest of the night hold up on the oversized bed watching Buffy fight undead evil with the help of Willow and Xander, wrapped up in a thick blanket. An impressive spread of Chinese takeout had taken over the foot of the bed, and they were slowly smoking their way through the recovered cigarettes and Frank considered this to be a pretty fucking awesome way to spend a Friday night.

And it didn’t get any less awesome, in fact after being dragged to Mikey house Frank’s life took a surprising upturn in the awesome department. He’d taken up partial residence in the Way basement mostly on Mikey’s insistence, and he really had no problem with this, because if he could he was pretty sure he’d move into the basement. Even if it was a total disaster and that one corner smelled kinda funny.

It was at least awesome until his mother realized exactly how many math quizzes Frank had recently failed. He been pretty good about hiding them at the back of his History book so she wouldn’t be nosey and accidentally find them.

His teacher had contacted her two days after the latest quiz- which Frank hadn’t understood at all- even after Mikey had tried to help him study at lunch and everything- and Mikey was actually kind of good at math. Well he was better than Frank.

But at this point that wasn’t saying much, Frank was pretty sure a gerbil would be better at math then he was- so he he’d just written Romania as all the answers and drew another llama. He thought he was getting pretty good at drawing llamas.

Apparently his teacher didn’t appreciate llamas in hats. Neither did his mother. Mikey on the other hand agreed the llama in the hat should have at least gotten him a couple points for creativity.

“I mean that one even has flowers on it,” said Mikey poking the quiz with a big F, see me after class written on top in angry red pen, “that has to be worth something.”

“Right? That’s what I told my mom,” said Frank, “she didn’t agree though, she just got that really squinty frustrated mom look.”

“Ugh- that’s the worst.”

In fact she had been so not amused that Frank had been banned for going back to the Way’s for the rest of the week- she stated that Frank was overstaying his welcome, and that he should leave poor Mrs. Way alone and focus on his school work for a change- since he so obviously needed to spend some quality time studying.

When he’d told Mikey the next day, the corner of his mouth did this down turned thing that Frank didn’t like, and he kind of felt like his mother wasn’t just punishing him but Mikey as well-which Frank didn’t think was fair at all. And when he told his mother this she did that mother thing where they get all tight lipped and puffed up and Frank kind of regretted that he said anything- except he really didn’t.

She’d said that if Mikey wanted to see Frank so much he could come here, which really didn’t make the situation any better, because having Mikey over would be awkward and weird and Frank knew him mom would hover and be nosey and weird and it’s not like they could just chill and watch Buffy and drink coffee and just wouldn’t work, being here.

Half the time Frank didn’t even want to be here- he’d rather be at Mikey’s eating strawberry pop tarts and trying to avoid having to eat Mrs. Ways cooking.

Plus he got to like Mikey at the Way’s, there they could they lay together on top of the mess of blankets on bed in the basement, and although he was stupidly boney Mikey made a really good pillow- and Frank was so not over his non-crush, because really Mikey Way was fucking awesome and he looked really good in those super tight pants he seemed to wear all the time.

And Frank was pretty sure that using Mikey as a pillow was not going to fly with his mom. And Frank knew that if he asked Mikey would totally come, and they’d both suffer, Frank had even brought it up after the first few days, and Mikey had said it was better to suffer together than be bored and suffering alone.

Still Frank wasn’t so sure about the idea-but then Mikey, being Mikey took things into his own hands, and informed Frank that he was coming home with him after school on a Tuesday.

“Uh- okay,” said Frank, “it’s gonna kinda suck though dude.”

Mikey shrugged, “I’ll live. Anyway I’ve got a plan. You’re going to like it I promise.”

Frank perked up, “a plan? I like plans! What kind of plan?!”

“Not telling, you’ll just do something stupid and it won’t work out,” said Mikey.

They had ended up chemistry partners, and Frank leaned over to try and see Mikey’s paper better, math was really not his thing.

“That’s harsh- I would so not fuck up your plan, come on tellll meee,”he said, leaning in toward Mikey’s face, his eyes really wide.

“Ugh- get off loser- Seriously, I’m not telling,” said Mikey, flicking Frank on the forehead

“Fine be that way,” huffed Frank, he squinted, “wait so is that an N or M?”

He pointed to the third line of the chemical equation.

“It’s an N,” said Mikey, “be nice or I won’t share my smokes with you or the new Phil the Wonder Slug pages,”

“WHOA!- There are new Phil pages and you didn’t tell me this morning?!” said Frank, voice going embarrassingly high pitched.

The teacher glared in their direction, and Frank cleared his throat sheepishly.

“See that’s why I don’t tell you things,” said Mikey flatly, but the corner of his lips had turned up just a little bit.

“Whatever man, you always tell me eventually,” said Frank, “now what were you saying about smokes? Because I am going insane, seriously my mother is trying to kill me with lack of cigarettes.”

Over lunch and smokes, Frank tried one last time to dissuade Mikey from following him home. They’d moved into the library and took up residence at one of the round tables in the back, to look at through the new Phil pages, away from the autumn wind.

Frank informed Mikey that he was going to own a pug after falling in love with Cupcake-Mikey thought he was ridiculous, but handed over the new pages, which he hadn't even read yet.

“Its better if we just read them at the same time- so like you don’t do that repeating everything super loudly thing you do,” said Mikey handing over the stack.

“I do not,” said Frank, elbowing Mikey.

Not like he was complaining it was a lot more fun to get to see everything at the same time and argue about what parts were the coolest and try and make predictions for the next couple pages.

Mikey always wrote the best ones down and would send them to Gee via letter, so far none of their predictions had been right, but a couple had been kind of close.

So far Frank had no luck in talking Mikey out of coming over, Mikey had just rolled his eyes and poked Frank hard in the shoulder, “stop stalling and turn the damn page,” he said.

So they ended up walking home together, bumping shouldering and talking about Phil predictions, Mikey thought Gerard was starting to wrap up the story and that Cupcake wasn’t going to make it.

Frank was horrified not only by the end of Phil’s adventures but by Cupcake’s demise, “but its Cupcake! He can’t kill Cupcake! She’s like- he just can’t!” said Frank emphatically, arms waving wildly, leading the way up the path to his house.

Mikey moved out of range of Frank’s flailing hands and said, “Joss Weadon killed Wash didn’t he?”

“Who killed what?” said Frank, he dropped his bag by the door and kicked his shoes, “Hi- Mom!” he called, “I’m home- and Mikey’s here too!”

“Uh- Firefly?” said Mikey, eyes wide and disbelieving, “I don’t think we can be friends if you haven’t seen it.”

“Uh-” said Frank, “I haven’t seen it?”

Frank’s Mom came bustling into the room, and got all momish before Mikey could respond- he was still gaping fish like at Frank thought. Apparently Firefly was a big deal.

And Frank was right, it was awkward, Mikey kind of knew what to avoid when talking to his mom- but she wouldn’t like leave them alone for more than a second. It was weird.

After about four painful hours, where they mostly just did their homework- Mikey “helped” Frank with his math- really meaning he surreptitiously let him copy, while they tried to have a discussion about Firefly but were interrupted by Frank’s mother every three seconds.

Frank was pretty sure this was the most he’d ever seen Mikey say at once- and he could tell Mikey wasn’t exactly enjoying being integrated by his mom, but was obviously putting up with it for the sake of the plan.

Mikey’s plan, Frank hadn’t forgotten and he was waiting to find out what it was.

Mikey waited until it was right before dinner, Franks mom asked him if he wanted to stay- Frank knew Mikey would decline, Frank had been watching his nerves wear down over the past few hours, all he wanted to do was get the fuck out, have a smoke and lull around in the basement and not answer anymore goddamn questions.

Frank was right-Mikey did decline dinner- claiming he had to help his mom, but just as he was leaving- after he’d thanked Franks mother at least three times, he paused, “Oh- um Mrs. Iero, I know you’ve wanted Frank to be home, but we’re partners in Chem and I was wondering if it’d be okay for him to stay over Friday night? There’s this test on Monday- and like I’m only really good at the math parts, but I really need help studying- and Franks pretty good at like all the theory stuff, would that be okay?”

Frank’s mouth fell open. He was glad he was behind his mom and she couldn’t see the shock on his face. Mikey Way was an evil Genius. What with his big brown eyes and looking all pathetic, and Franks mom said yes.

Frank couldn’t believe it.

“Oh- are you sure you mother won’t mind, Franks been spending a lot of time over there, I don’t want him bothering her.”

“Oh it’s no bother, she’s just glad I’m getting help with Chem, I’m really bad at it,” said Mikey looking sheepish.

“Well if it won’t be a problem, I imagine it would be alright,”

Mikey sort of smiled at her, and thanked her and disappeared out the door.

And not three seconds later Frank’s phone buzzed.

< You’re welcome you fucker>

And then Frank got to listen to his mother say how much of a nice young man Mikey was for the next twenty million years, and how he ought to come over more often, why couldn’t all Franks friends be like that yadayadayada….

At least Frank could text Mikey while he half listened. Apparently Mikey found the whole situation high amusing. Frank thought if only she actually knew. He was really glad she didn’t.

The next day Mikey was smug as hell and wouldn’t tell Frank why. It was annoying as all fuck. “Come one seriously- what up?” asked Frank over lunch.

“You’ll see on Friday.”

Frank grumbled and took a bite of his half of the sandwich.

He kind of couldn’t wait until Friday. He was pretty sure they were just going to hang out in the basement and smoke a ton of cigarettes and watch Firefly- but that couldn’t even be let down. That would be awesome. And that’s kind of all he’s wanted to do all week. Because he feels like he can breathe when he’s at Mikey’s.

But then Friday rolls around and Frank has reassured his mother three times that it’s fine and Mikey’s parents are cool and everything.

Mikey still wasn’t giving anything away about anything other than he was pretty sure that Cupcake was going to die in the next few pages and Gerard was planning on starting another comic about a robot unicorn. Frank wasn’t convinced.

“Oh come on Mikes, Gerard never gives anything away- how do you know?” said Frank

“Because he knows how attached you are to Cupcake and told me to warn you to brace yourself,” said Mikey. He was sitting on a pile of gym mats, underneath the bleachers. There was a surprise pep rally that afternoon and they didn’t get enough warning to try and escape, so they took refuge under the bleachers along with a few others who knew better than to be top side. And all of which seemed to know Mikey Way. Surprising right?

“Well fuck,” said Frank, frowning slightly, “I hope she at least becomes a really nasty zombie or something, poor Cupcake.”

“Hey at least robot unicorns are pretty cool,” said Patrick who was also perched on a pile of gym mats and who sat with them at lunch sometimes.

“I know” Frank whined, “but Cupcake!”

“Who’s Cupcake?” asked one of the other guys, with strange scraggly facial hair.

“A depressed Pug,” said Mikey.

“Ooookay…..?” the guys said eyebrows raised.

“It’s in a comic book,” Frank tried to elaborate.

The guy obviously didn’t get it, and fucked off to the other side of the bleachers, muttering about weirdoes.

“Well he obviously has no taste,” said Patrick.

“Who the hell was that anyway?” asked Mikey.

No one knew- it was a general consensus that maybe he didn’t even go here.

When they were finally released from the pep rally, and were able to go home, Mikey had gotten this weird smirk going on and it was kind of freaking Frank out.

“You’re kind of freaking me out,” said Frank.

Mikey just raised an eyebrow, “Your face is freaking me out,” and led the way into the kitchen and to the coffee. It was about five and hours later, in the middle of a truly epic Firefly marathon-Frank totally agreed it was beyond that he see this.

When Mikey’s phone buzzed. He flipped his phone closed and kicked Frank in the leg.

“Ow- what was that for?”

“Get up, we’re going out,” said Mikey.

“Going where?” asked Frank sitting up.


“Who’s Bob?”

“One of Gee’s friends from high school,” said Mikey.

“Is this part of your plan?”

Mikey nodded, “I’m going to get changed,” he said heading for the stairs

“Well what the fuck am I supposed to wear-“ said Frank sitting up, “are we going to like a party or something?”

“Or something,” said Mikey, “just like steal something of Gee’s it’s not like he’ll notice-“ he wave around at the masses of clothes piled around the room, “I’m sure there’s something clean in here somewhere.”

He disappeared upstairs leaving Frank standing in the middle of the basement, “Fucking a,” Frank muttered, “give a guy a little warning.”

He’d gotten a lot less shy about digging through the piles of stuff in the basement and now he delved in looking for shirt, he was pretty sure Gerard pants would be way to long so his ripped black ones would just have to do. After digging through what seemed like endless paint stained and dirty clothes Frank managed to find a clean paint stainless black tee-shirt. He was also pretty sure it had shrunk in the wash, or it was one of Mikey’s.

He pulled on his hoodie and went upstairs in search of Mikey. Mikey was in the middle of his bedroom, in an even tighter pair of jeans, and was adjusting his beanie, when Frank walked in.

“Find something?” asked Mikey.

“Yeah, but I’m pretty sure it’s not Gee’s”

Mikey glanced over his shoulder, “yeah, I think that might be mine.”

Frank flopped back on Mikey’s bed, “where are we going exactly?”

I told you we’re going to Bob’s”

It turns out that it required driving to get to Bob’s.

Frank was pretty sure that he never wanted to get in a car driven by Mikey Way ever again. Mikey wasn’t good at driving, in fact he was very, very bad at driving all jerky long limbs and too sudden movements.

Frank was more than amazed when they arrived at all. They didn’t crash and die, and somehow actually found the narrow side street near the college that Bob lived on. They hadn’t exactly found the house yet, but they were pretty sure they were on the right street.

“Do you think we’ve gone too far?” asked Frank

Mikey shrugged, and squinted out into the dark. To their right a large sign announcing, Black Stone Campus, “Guess not,” said Frank.

The vague directions Mikey had received via text instructed them to look for a big white house with massive hedges; they turned into the campus following the gravel path past the block like dorms.

Cobb house stood on the other side of the green. A massive white building, with a long metal fire escape crawling down one side, the parking lot was already mostly full and students flowed steadily across the green.

Mikey jerked the car in park and let the way across the front lawn. Towering hedges separated the lawn from the street and the huge front door was open spilling light out onto the porch where an assortment of students had congregated smoking in groups of two or three.

Mikey bypassed them and led the way into the house; music hit Frank like a wall. Somewhere there was a blasting stereo, they wove through the throng of people milling around the stairs and headed up towards second floor.

A shout of -“MIKEYFUCKINWAY!- Came from somewhere upstairs, someone bounded down the stairs and grabbed Mikey planting a loud smacking kiss on his lips.

Mikey was nonplussed, and said, once his face was released, “nice to see you too Pete, I’m looking for Bob- have you seen him?”

Pete grinned at Mikey and shrugged, “Haven’t seen him in a while, hes’ around somewhere- who’s your friend?”

Frank was feeling pretty miserably awkward by now. He had a pretty general idea that Mikey Way had a tendency to kiss lots of people, mostly at parties, but he was really hoping he could you know- avoid the whole having to see Mikey kiss people that weren’t him, not that he could even complain because it wasn’t exactly like Mikey was his to be kissing anyway.

And it kind of just was hitting Frank he had no idea where they were or who any of these people were, and he was being to think that this was a really, really bad plan.

“That’s Frankie, hey Frankie, this is Pete. He’s a creep, you should steer clear,” said Mikey.

Frank kind of nodded at Pete and shuffled awkwardly. Pete waved enthusiastically, before turning to Mikey, “also I am so not a creep-“

“That’s what creeps say,” said Mikey before continuing up the stairs, but not before kind of giving Frank a weird look, Frank avoid his eyes.

The landing stretched either direction into long hallways filled with more people, Mikey lead Frank up another flight of stairs and took a right and followed the hall to the end and stuck his head in the room at the end of the hall.

“Anyone seen Bob?”

Nobody had seen Bob, but it turns out that it didn’t matter because someone was shouting down stairs and the entirety of the house started to move towards the basement.

“What is going on exactly?” asked Frank

“Just chill, and remember to drink the kool-aid,” said Mikey, he grabbed Franks arm, “come on, it’ll be fun.”

The music had been turned off, and Frank really was kind of at a loss of what was going on, and then it started. Loud and rough and coming from the basement, Mikey grinned at him.

“Come on Iero we’re going to a basement punk show.”

Frank grinned back, “Fuck yeah we are.”

The room was tiny and packed and the music was deafeningly loud and rough and the singer was thrashing about and it took Frank about five seconds to get lost in the music and get sucked into the mass of failing people.

Crazy adrenaline was pumping through him and he was pretty sure he’d gotten knocked in the face at least twice but he didn’t really care as long as the band kept playing- and holy shit did he owe Mikey for this.

Frank was lost in the sound for what was only a split second and an eternity wrapped in one, the second band started up and it seemed like the place exploded in movement.

But then it ended, and Frank couldn’t really hold still, the sound still pumping in his blood, he was drenched with sweat and was pretty sure he was twitching, and he was totally lost.

The sheer amount of people that had crammed into the basement seemed absurd as they flowed out into the night, laughing loud and shouting to each other, ears still ringing from the last song.

Frank found Mikey smoking on the porch, he was sitting on the step leaning on one the pillars, “Have fun?” he asked, smirking up at Frank.

And then Frank of just like kissed him.

It wasn’t one of his more thought out moves- and a split second after he started he realized this wasn’t exactly a good idea- because this was his best friend and tried to abort, but it was too late, and Mikey was muttering, “fucking took you long enough- ass hole,” and kind of grabbed his face, and as it turns out kissing Mikey Way is way beyond awesome.

Frank can see why all those girls liked doing it so much. When he finally ran out of air and pulled away, he said, “so what exactly was your plan?”

“To get you to finally fucking kiss me and it worked just took for-fucking-ever,”


“You really suck at taking hints,” said Mikey, before grabbing Franks face again, and pressing into him.

So Frank was kind of wrong about the whole its-not-a-good-idea-to-like-your-friends-thing cuz watching buffy and making out was kind of way beyond awesome, and Frank was only kind of pissed that he could have been doing this for months- and Mikey was all “it’s not my fault you suck at taking hints.”

Frank thought Mikey was just too subtle. But he doesn’t really care, and he’s still not really sure what he thinks of Mikey Way other than he’s really fucking cool. And Frank gets to make out with him, and it turns out that maybe public school wasn’t exactly an awful idea after all.

-The end


A/n: This is not to be taken particularly seriously. I got the idea after I went to a really wonderfully awful basement punk show at my friend’s insane college housing coop. Un-beta’ed for the moment, so see a mistake point it out, and I’ll fix it. I like reviews- so you know don’t be afraid to say hi. I don’t bite.

Dedicated to Iggy, mostly for being Iggy- but also for editing things for me and letting me use her bass. (And for introducing me to Buffy)


YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY this makes me so happy!
Thanks! I am actually working on a sort of companion one shot called #takeahint- which is sort of the same story only told from Mikey's side of things. Mostly I wanted Gerard and Mikey dialogue and lots of exasperated sighing. I hope to have it done in a week or two.
enoby_w enoby_w
@That Person You Dont Know
Thanks! I had so much fun writing this, I'm glad you like reading it!
enoby_w enoby_w
dude this was ah-maze-ing!!!!! i hate Frikey but this was just awesome. thank you for writing this masterpeice