Someone Out There Loves You

*Gerard POV*

“You’re full of surprises, aren’t you?”

“You better believe it,” I smirked.

“You got any other great achievements?” her eyebrows were raised and her perfect white teeth were on show. Our coffees were long discarded by now, and instead, we each cradled a glass of white wine.

“You mean other than my amazing sex skills? Let me think…oh, I did win an Oreo box stacking competition once.”

“What?” she giggled, her auburn hair falling over her shoulders in waves.

“Yup. I won a bike and everything. You really should feel honoured to be in such amazing company.”

“Oh, please! I won an all state hot dog eating competition. Beat that.”

“God, you’re so competitive.” I glared playfully.

“And I’m proud of it.”

That much was obvious.

“That must be why your roommates abandoned you then.”

Her face fell for a second, her lips parted in an ‘o’ shape.

“I take that back. It was your witty sarcasm, ability to pick out people’s flaws and general anti-social-ness that did it,” I continued, and as I anticipated, I promptly received a slug to my arm that was surprisingly painful, in spite of the half bottle of wine I’d consumed. The girl knew how to pack a punch, something I didn’t account for.

“Prick,” she muttered darkly.

“How the hell did you learn to punch like that?” I asked, genuinely curious.

“I’ve got three brothers. Learning how to hit a proper punch and kick a guy in the balls was necessary for survival. It was dog eat dog in my house.”

“Remind me not to piss you off.”

“Damn right. Once I kicked my brother so hard he nearly lost a testicle. He was in hospital and everything. Prick never laid a hand on me again.”

“Shit, poor guy.”

“Nah, the douche was trying to give me a wedgie. I only wish I’d hit him harder.”

“What a charming childhood you had.”

“I know, right? And I wonder why I hate men.”

I giggled at her light tone and watched her down the last of her wine. My own glass was nearly empty, and with one sip I followed her lead. The movie had finished a while ago, both of us too lost in our conversation to notice. To be honest, I wasn’t sure what had driven me to invite myself around the way I did. I was free for the evening, and the idea of wasting it alone, like I did so many other evenings, wasn’t pleasant. I’d been debating whether I should call my brother, or Frank, to see who was free to hang out. Neither of them were appealing options, really, but they were the only ones I could see. Until I saw Chloe, and decided to force my company on her on a whim. I don’t know what I expected, perhaps some playful banter, or just a wasted evening in someone else’s company. Fortunately, I got the former, and Chloe’s dry, sarcastic wit had made it a worthwhile venture.

“On that note, I’ll go, before you turn violent and deprive me of my livelihood in a fit of anger.” I stood up, grabbing the coat I’d strewn over the back of the couch.

“Aw, are you scared of little old me?” she teased.

“Terrified,” I retorted, patting my pockets to find my oh-so beloved packet of cigarettes.

“I feel like I should be flattered.”

“I don’t know, I’m scared of lots of things, so I wouldn’t feel too special.”

“Damn, there goes my self esteem.” She sighed dramatically.

“Don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll find someone you can shred with words to make yourself feel better.”

“Ha ha ha.”

“I note your lack of denial.”

“Good for you.”

“Well, it was a pleasure to be in your company, as always.”

“Wish I could say the same,” she smirked, walking me to the door.

“You wound me,” I clutch my hand to my chest.

“And yet we both know you’ll come back for more.”

“But of course, who else could tear my ego down with your finesse?”

“Someone has to do it,” she shrugged.

“Well, you have my number, feel free to ring me for your sexual needs any time.”

“Don’t count on it.”

“We’ll see about that,” I grinned, before she shoved me out the door with surprising strength.

“Goodbye, Gerard.”

I waved, and sent a wink her way before making my way out of the building and going home.

**

I ruffled my hair, styling it the way I knew Gillian loved it. I split my clients into two categories: the ones I’m indifferent to, and the ones I barely tolerate. Gillian fell into the latter category. She was beautiful, successful, and unashamed to go after what she wanted. She also happened to be the biggest bitch I ever encountered in my life.

Most of my clients, both the regulars and the occasional random that sought me out, had a certain amount of decorum. We both knew the arrangement, and what it entailed. I was doing a job, and they appreciated it. While I’m sure most of them did indeed look down on me, most of them knew better than to let these thoughts be known; except Gillian. She was a sadist, who enjoyed degrading anyone unfortunate enough to share her bed. She controlled every part of her life, including her sex life, and dominated everyone in her path in both business and pleasure. It wasn’t surprising that she was single and unable to hold onto a guy. She argued it was confidence, and power. I thought she was just a cunt who needed to crush other people to make up for whatever issues she had from her past. If I could have dropped her, I would, but there were two reasons why I didn’t. First, she was the best paying out of all my clients. Her only good quality was that she wasn’t stingy with cash. It also ensured that I would come back, no matter what shit came out of her mouth. Secondly, if I were to drop her, I was certain she would ruin my reputation to any prospective client. I relied on word of mouth recommendations to gain new clients, which meant most of my clients knew at least one other person on my list, or knew somebody who knew somebody I serviced. Main point, my reputation was important, and I wouldn’t put it past her to try and destroy me if I took away her only avenue for regular sexual contact. So, I had to shut my mouth and count the minutes until our encounter was over.

I sighed, taking one last glance in the mirror before I left my apartment. She lived in a penthouse apartment not far from me, so she was one of the most convenient clients to reach, if nothing else. It was a fifteen minute walk to reach there, and I spent every one of those minutes bracing myself for the half an hour ahead. Unlike most of my clients, who didn’t require an extra effort to get it up on normal occasions, Gillian’s personality meant I had to imagine myself elsewhere to do the job. I didn’t dread going to her, it was more just a deep-seated loathing towards being anywhere within her vicinity, let alone in her bed. I knocked on her door, ready for the fun to begin.

“About time, Way,” she snapped when she opened the door.

“Lovely to see you too,” I muttered sarcastically.

“Whatever. How about you get your ass in the bedroom, and shut the smart whore mouth of yours. You’re on my time now, don’t forget that.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” I smiled sweetly, disguising my hatred and making my way to the room I unfortunately knew so well.

When I left forty minutes later, I had an extra two grand in my pocket, and a frazzled head. Like every other client this week, I had zoned out, my mind wondering to the only person who was taking up my thoughts these days. Most of the clients didn’t notice anything was off, or didn’t care, but Chloe being on my mind all the time was only going to lead to bad things in the long run.

**

“Dude, are you okay?”

Mikey, my younger brother, was watching me with shrewd eyes. He was one of the few people who knew what I did for a living. Or, at least, I assume he did. It was never explicitly said, but he was a smart guy, who was more than capable of putting two and two together. He had been in my apartment, he saw my designer clothes, and was aware I had way too much free time on my hands. It was a subject we didn’t talk about, though; I think it was easier for us to brush it under the carpet and pretend it wasn’t an issue. It wasn’t an issue, really, or at least not one that affected Mikey and I’s relationship. He was working for some insurance company, doing his steady nine to five, and happy with his long-term girlfriend. He had a life that suited him to the ground, and it wasn’t one I was particularly envious of. We didn’t talk about work, or our love lives, and it was better off that way.

“I’m fine,” I dismissed, browsing through the comics lined up perfectly in front of me. The one thing I loved about comic book stores was how well the comics were treated, in comparison to the larger book stores, where they were thumbed through and creased before you got your hands on them. Here, customers and prospective buyers were more than likely genuine comic lovers, and they treated the books accordingly.

“Seriously, I can tell something is up. You know you can talk to me,” he added awkwardly.

“Don’t worry about it,” I tried to fob him off, and feigned interest in an old copy of Spiderman.

Mikey sighed, irritated with my deliberate brush off.

“Whatever,” he huffed.

I felt a rare stab of guilt. Mikey was an awesome brother, in many ways. He never pushed or prodded, and he was always there if I needed him. He rarely butted into my business, unless he was genuinely concerned. I just wasn’t sure if I wanted to indulge what was going on in my head. I was the older brother, and it felt weird to confide in him about my worries.

“Have you ever had someone stuck in your head, like, all the time, even when you don’t want to think about them?”

Mikey looked up from the comic in his hands, surprised at my sudden willingness to talk.

“As in a girl?”

“Yeah,” I mumbled, suddenly embarrassed.

“I suppose. When I first met Stephanie, I thought about her a lot. Part and parcel of being in love, I guess,” he shrugged.

“Love?” I asked incredulously.

“Don’t say it like it’s a dirty word. It’s a perfectly natural human state. We’re driven by our need to procreate, and love is biology’s way of ensuring we continue on our species. So, who’s got your panties in a twist?”

“Never mind,” I muttered, wishing I hadn’t brought it up.

“Aw, c’mon, man. No point in holding out now.”

I glared at him, which he met unflinchingly.

“I don’t know, man. The last thing I want is to get involved with someone, but she just…she gets under my skin, and not necessarily in a good way. Or maybe it is.”

“Aw, one of those love-hate things, huh?”

“Not really. It’s more like…I’m intrigued. I’ve only met her a few times, but she’s…different. I like spending time with her, even though she should piss me off half the time, but she’s actually alright when she’s not being a bitch.”

“Is she hot?”

“I guess.”

“What’s the problem then?”

“I’m not exactly in the position to have a relationship right now, of any kind, and even if I was, she’s not exactly the most male friendly person I’ve met. Her ex was a dick, or something along those lines, so she pretty much hates men. It’s a dead end road.”

“Ah. She’s unattainable. There’s your answer.”

“Huh?”

He looked at me like I was an idiot, before his lips broke into a grin.

“She doesn’t want you, or at least she acts like she doesn’t. She’s unavailable, therefore she’s more desirable. Simple case of wanting what you can’t have.”

It made sense, I suppose. She was aloof, and hard to break through. She kept people, especially men, at bay. She was afraid of getting hurt, therefore she made it hard work to break through her barrier. I was always fond of challenges.The more impossible it seemed, the better. She had unwittingly appealed to a side of me that I’d forgotten even existed.

“I think you might be right,” I spoke thoughtfully.

Maybe I just needed to sate my curiosity.

Notes

Hey guys,

Just want to say thanks to all you amazing readers. You guys are awesome. And to those who leave feedback, and vote, you guys are also awesome!

Lyra