Death Can Only Come
Death Can Only Come
"… You have two weeks left to live." The doctor finished.
"Okay." I replied. Two weeks suddenly felt like no time at all. Two weeks used to feel like time, but it would be like this, tomorrow I would die, that is what two weeks felt like. The doctor left the room and I just stared around the room. Dead in two weeks, the thought wouldn't leave my head. I had been diagnosed with cancer and just today they had figured out that there was nothing they could do, of course there was no cure for cancer, but they had tried to at least help it a bit. And there was nothing they could no. The window next to me was dark, it was night. I closed my eyes.
…
….
…..
……
I was staring up at the ceiling, the heart rate monitor beeped steadily next to me. Today was the day, the day of my death. D-day. Death day. I smiled slightly, I didn't know when it would happen but I knew that it would be soon, it was like I could feel my life slowly leaving me. I closed my eyes. I could hear my heart slowing from the beeping of the monitor. I could hear the traffic outside. I could hear the tapping of a nurses shoes in the hallway. I could hear crying from somewhere down the hall. I could hear someone running. I heard the door open and a voice call my name. I could hear…
Nothing.
…
….
…..
……
Death. The word rang out in my ears. The silence of my head was filled with the noise of that word. And in the space between life and death. I began to think as I thought about what had just happened. The voice that had called for me had been my beloved wife. I recalled the day after I had been told that I only had two weeks left to live and she said to me, "Without you is how I disappear", with tears running down her face and anger burning within me, I wasn't ready to die. But the thing about death was that now that I was actually dead, I had accepted it, I no longer felt angry, and I no longer felt the need to avenge my own life. I was now a ghost. Just a ghost, nothing more.
…
….
…..
…….
I sat and waited. I didn't know anything about where I was, I assumed that the white was walls, but when I had reached for them, there weren't any, it had felt like I had walked for miles and still, no walls. My body was sitting, but I could not feel any floor beneath me, yet I wasn't falling. I suddenly felt like I was suffocating and as I gasped for air, the white disappeared to form a blue sky and people and buildings and road and I could see a parade float growing closer to me. I looked around and saw my father standing next to me. I looked down at myself, I was a little kid again and my father had taken me into the city to see the parade. The floats and the people passed by and I waved to them. My favourite float passed by and…
…
….
…..
……
I was standing on my street. A girl was walking away from me, her long hair swaying slightly in the gentle wind. I could feel nothing but sadness, and I recognised the memory. It was one the few girlfriends I had had during high school. We had been together for a year and on our 1 year anniversary she broke up with me. She wasn't even sensitive about it, she just looked me in the eye and said "I don't love you anymore." She had broken my heart and she didn't even go about it in a nice way and I think that's what hurt the most. I sighed and turned to walk home and…
…
….
…..
……
I was at one of the after parties for my last prom. There was alcohol everywhere and people making out and girls dancing and dragging boys off to rooms. It was noisy and loud and one of the neighbours had already come over and complained. Bad music pumped from the stereo at the other side if the room and I really didn't know why I was here. I wasn't talking to anyone, just sitting by myself and my friend who I had come with had ditched me was probably off drunk, talking to girls and trying to get laid. I got up to leave, but just as I was reaching for the door handle I felt a hand on my arm and I turned to see a girl smiling at me. She stank of beer. "Where you going?" She slurred.
"Home." I replied as I ripped my arm from her hand and…
…
….
…..
……
I was sitting next to someone's hospital bed. My mother was next to me and she was crying. I looked up from my hands and saw my grandmother looking at my mother. "Don't be sad, dear." She said. "I'll be okay and so will you." She turned to me. "Loo after your mother, she needs you." I nodded barely being able to process what she was saying because of my own grief. I could feel my eyes burn occasionally from the tears that threatened to fill my eyes and spill over. I had to stay strong for both my mother and my grandmother. My grandmother put her hand out and I took it. She took it I smiled at her, she smiled back, before the cancer that had manifesting inside her, took her life and I felt her fade away under my hand. The tears finally spilled over.
…
….
…..
……
I was standing behind my car, my mother helping me pack my things into the boot. She had some tears in her eyes, but I knew she was proud of me, I had gotten into a college and I was leaving today. I closed the boot and once again my mother pulled me into a hug. She pulled away from me and held me at arm’s length. "I am so proud of you." She said to me. I just smiled at her. She released me and I walked over to the driver’s side and got in. The second I shut the door Mum tapped the window and I rolled it down. She leaned in and hugged me once again and then kissed me on the cheek. "I'm going to miss you." She said. "Call me when you can."
I nodded and started up the car, rolling up the window, before I drove away, my mother waving to me.
…
….
…..
……
I was curled up in my bed in my new apartment. I could hear the traffic from the street below and I was cold. It was my first night here and I couldn't sleep because I wasn't used to all this noise. Just sleep, I thought to myself. I tried just closing my eyes and letting myself go, but the noise from the street was too loud. Now I could hear people yelling. A car alarm was going off somewhere far away too. Just sleep, I thought again. I picked up my iPod and found my headphones. I put them in and put on one of my favourite albums. The Black Parade by My Chemical Romance. One of my favourite bands too. The music blocked out some of the noise from the street and I let it take me away as I closed my eyes and…
…
….
…..
……
I was walking down the street with my groceries in each o my hands. I was looking down at the pavement, but my head snapped up when I heard a shout and the sound of skateboard wheels on concrete. Some teenagers were coming towards me, yelling things to each other. One of them had a smile on their face. I moved to the side but one of them came straight past me and pushed me as they went past. I fell backwards and my groceries went everywhere. I started to get up, but I was shaking and when I tried to pick up some of my groceries I would drop them. I managed to get them all back in the bags and I walked back to my car and...
…
….
…..
……
I was at my at my father's funeral. My mother was crying,just like when my grandmother had died, but I couldn't cry, I was too shocked I think. It was sudden, he had died in a car accident a few days ago. The music that played in the background was sad and didn't do anything to help the mood. They just shouldn't have played any. All of my family were here, all of my dad's friends were here too. There were so many people in this tiny church filled with grief, and I just couldn't take it anymore. I ran outside into the cloudy day and gasped in the fresh air. I walked over to one of the garden edges and…
…
….
…..
……
Goodbye, I thought as the images left my mind and the world around me started to go fuzzy and black around the edges, until everything went dark and my soul drifted off.
"Okay." I replied. Two weeks suddenly felt like no time at all. Two weeks used to feel like time, but it would be like this, tomorrow I would die, that is what two weeks felt like. The doctor left the room and I just stared around the room. Dead in two weeks, the thought wouldn't leave my head. I had been diagnosed with cancer and just today they had figured out that there was nothing they could do, of course there was no cure for cancer, but they had tried to at least help it a bit. And there was nothing they could no. The window next to me was dark, it was night. I closed my eyes.
…
….
…..
……
I was staring up at the ceiling, the heart rate monitor beeped steadily next to me. Today was the day, the day of my death. D-day. Death day. I smiled slightly, I didn't know when it would happen but I knew that it would be soon, it was like I could feel my life slowly leaving me. I closed my eyes. I could hear my heart slowing from the beeping of the monitor. I could hear the traffic outside. I could hear the tapping of a nurses shoes in the hallway. I could hear crying from somewhere down the hall. I could hear someone running. I heard the door open and a voice call my name. I could hear…
Nothing.
…
….
…..
……
Death. The word rang out in my ears. The silence of my head was filled with the noise of that word. And in the space between life and death. I began to think as I thought about what had just happened. The voice that had called for me had been my beloved wife. I recalled the day after I had been told that I only had two weeks left to live and she said to me, "Without you is how I disappear", with tears running down her face and anger burning within me, I wasn't ready to die. But the thing about death was that now that I was actually dead, I had accepted it, I no longer felt angry, and I no longer felt the need to avenge my own life. I was now a ghost. Just a ghost, nothing more.
…
….
…..
…….
I sat and waited. I didn't know anything about where I was, I assumed that the white was walls, but when I had reached for them, there weren't any, it had felt like I had walked for miles and still, no walls. My body was sitting, but I could not feel any floor beneath me, yet I wasn't falling. I suddenly felt like I was suffocating and as I gasped for air, the white disappeared to form a blue sky and people and buildings and road and I could see a parade float growing closer to me. I looked around and saw my father standing next to me. I looked down at myself, I was a little kid again and my father had taken me into the city to see the parade. The floats and the people passed by and I waved to them. My favourite float passed by and…
…
….
…..
……
I was standing on my street. A girl was walking away from me, her long hair swaying slightly in the gentle wind. I could feel nothing but sadness, and I recognised the memory. It was one the few girlfriends I had had during high school. We had been together for a year and on our 1 year anniversary she broke up with me. She wasn't even sensitive about it, she just looked me in the eye and said "I don't love you anymore." She had broken my heart and she didn't even go about it in a nice way and I think that's what hurt the most. I sighed and turned to walk home and…
…
….
…..
……
I was at one of the after parties for my last prom. There was alcohol everywhere and people making out and girls dancing and dragging boys off to rooms. It was noisy and loud and one of the neighbours had already come over and complained. Bad music pumped from the stereo at the other side if the room and I really didn't know why I was here. I wasn't talking to anyone, just sitting by myself and my friend who I had come with had ditched me was probably off drunk, talking to girls and trying to get laid. I got up to leave, but just as I was reaching for the door handle I felt a hand on my arm and I turned to see a girl smiling at me. She stank of beer. "Where you going?" She slurred.
"Home." I replied as I ripped my arm from her hand and…
…
….
…..
……
I was sitting next to someone's hospital bed. My mother was next to me and she was crying. I looked up from my hands and saw my grandmother looking at my mother. "Don't be sad, dear." She said. "I'll be okay and so will you." She turned to me. "Loo after your mother, she needs you." I nodded barely being able to process what she was saying because of my own grief. I could feel my eyes burn occasionally from the tears that threatened to fill my eyes and spill over. I had to stay strong for both my mother and my grandmother. My grandmother put her hand out and I took it. She took it I smiled at her, she smiled back, before the cancer that had manifesting inside her, took her life and I felt her fade away under my hand. The tears finally spilled over.
…
….
…..
……
I was standing behind my car, my mother helping me pack my things into the boot. She had some tears in her eyes, but I knew she was proud of me, I had gotten into a college and I was leaving today. I closed the boot and once again my mother pulled me into a hug. She pulled away from me and held me at arm’s length. "I am so proud of you." She said to me. I just smiled at her. She released me and I walked over to the driver’s side and got in. The second I shut the door Mum tapped the window and I rolled it down. She leaned in and hugged me once again and then kissed me on the cheek. "I'm going to miss you." She said. "Call me when you can."
I nodded and started up the car, rolling up the window, before I drove away, my mother waving to me.
…
….
…..
……
I was curled up in my bed in my new apartment. I could hear the traffic from the street below and I was cold. It was my first night here and I couldn't sleep because I wasn't used to all this noise. Just sleep, I thought to myself. I tried just closing my eyes and letting myself go, but the noise from the street was too loud. Now I could hear people yelling. A car alarm was going off somewhere far away too. Just sleep, I thought again. I picked up my iPod and found my headphones. I put them in and put on one of my favourite albums. The Black Parade by My Chemical Romance. One of my favourite bands too. The music blocked out some of the noise from the street and I let it take me away as I closed my eyes and…
…
….
…..
……
I was walking down the street with my groceries in each o my hands. I was looking down at the pavement, but my head snapped up when I heard a shout and the sound of skateboard wheels on concrete. Some teenagers were coming towards me, yelling things to each other. One of them had a smile on their face. I moved to the side but one of them came straight past me and pushed me as they went past. I fell backwards and my groceries went everywhere. I started to get up, but I was shaking and when I tried to pick up some of my groceries I would drop them. I managed to get them all back in the bags and I walked back to my car and...
…
….
…..
……
I was at my at my father's funeral. My mother was crying,just like when my grandmother had died, but I couldn't cry, I was too shocked I think. It was sudden, he had died in a car accident a few days ago. The music that played in the background was sad and didn't do anything to help the mood. They just shouldn't have played any. All of my family were here, all of my dad's friends were here too. There were so many people in this tiny church filled with grief, and I just couldn't take it anymore. I ran outside into the cloudy day and gasped in the fresh air. I walked over to one of the garden edges and…
…
….
…..
……
Goodbye, I thought as the images left my mind and the world around me started to go fuzzy and black around the edges, until everything went dark and my soul drifted off.
