The Only Hope For Me Is You
I don’t want you to think I am weak
(Jess’s P.O.V)
*5 weeks later*
Frank and I have been dating for a month now, he is the best boyfriend ever. I mean I have never had a boyfriend before but he makes me feel beautiful even though I know I am not. He makes me feel wanted, he gives me a reason to keep living. I know we have only been dating a month and even though Selena and Noah are the only ones that know. I think that I love him. Gerard, Mikey, Ray and Bob are going to fly to Jersey to visit family. I am staying to tune the guitars and get some work done while there gone. Frank is staying to help with things. Even though the “things” he will be doing is playing Xbox and making out with me, it’s still considered helping. The rest of the boys don’t think twice about it and leave for Jersey. That means Frank and I will be alone, FINALLY!!!
“So what do you want to play now I have Pokémon, Black ops 2, and more to choose from?” I ask Frank who is sitting across from me.
“Holy shit that’s hot.” Frank says with a smile from ear to ear plastered on his face.
“What’s hot?” I am confused with what he just said.
“It’s hot that my girlfriend is a big nerd. This just adds to things I love about you.” Frank says and he starts to blush.
I just chuckle and reach for my Pokémon cards that are in cabinet. When all of a sudden I hear a gasp of shock. I look over at Frank with a concerned look, he had a worried/sad look on his face. What is going on?
“Frank what’s wrong?” Worry is in my voice.
“What are those?” He says pointing to my…………wrists.
Oh no. Oh god no. I quickly pull my wrist bands down to cover my scars and newly created cuts. What do I tell him?!? Oh those are cuts that I have given myself since I was 13 because I was bullied, but managed to keep it from my family. What do I tell him?!?
“Oh we had this crazy cat.” I say lying through my teeth.
“Jessica I am not stupid, now tell me how you really got those.” He says crossing his arms wait! Did he just call me Jessica?!
“Frank I don’t want to talk about this. And don’t call me Jessica!” I say tears brimming my eyes.
“Jess why did you do that to yourself? Let me see them.” Frank says really concerned.
“Frank just drop it okay!!!” I am start crying and Frank pulls me into a hug and lets me cry into his chest while he rubs my back.
“Jess I need to see them okay?” He says in a lower sweet voice.
“Uh-um okay.” I wipe my eyes and take my wrist bands off and Frank immediately he scans both my wrists.
“Jess I am not going to ask again. Why did you do this?” His hazel eyes look deep into mine searching for an answer.
“I was bullied and everything they said was true. I am not pretty, nobody loves me and nobody will ever love me.” At this point I am sobbing but try to stop myself.
“Jess none of that is true.” Frank says trying to calm me down.
“NO FRANK IT IS TRUE! I AM NOT PRETTY AND NO ONE WILL EVER LOVE ME!” I haven’t cried since I was 15 I hate the feeling of it.
“You’re right Jess, you’re not pretty. YOU’RE DAMN BEAUTIFUL. But people do love you.” Did Frank just call me beautiful? Nobody has ever called me beautiful.
“Who Frank? Who loves me?” I say with anger and frustration in my voice.
“For god’s sake Jessica. I LOVE YOU!!!” Frank says with truth coating his voice.
Frank gently grabbed my face and kissed me with force. I jumped up and wrapped my legs around his waist. He walked into the bedroom and pushed me up against the wall.
“Jessica I love you so much.” Frank whispered in my ear.
With that Frank slowly laid me onto the bed. I don’t think I should tell him that I he is the one taking my virginity.
*1 hour later*
Frank and I lay on my bed with the black comforter covering our bodies. Frank was playing with my hair and rubbing my back. I was cuddled into Franks toned chest.
“Jessica you will never know how much I love you.” He said into my hair.
“I won’t if you keep calling me Jessica.” I said chuckling lightly.
“*laugh* It sucks we have to keep this a secret.” Frank said sadness over filled his voice.
“I know I am sorry.” I feel bad that we have to keep this a secret.
“But I would walk across the world for you.” After Frank made that statement we fell into a soundless, peaceful, sleep.
*5 weeks later*
Frank and I have been dating for a month now, he is the best boyfriend ever. I mean I have never had a boyfriend before but he makes me feel beautiful even though I know I am not. He makes me feel wanted, he gives me a reason to keep living. I know we have only been dating a month and even though Selena and Noah are the only ones that know. I think that I love him. Gerard, Mikey, Ray and Bob are going to fly to Jersey to visit family. I am staying to tune the guitars and get some work done while there gone. Frank is staying to help with things. Even though the “things” he will be doing is playing Xbox and making out with me, it’s still considered helping. The rest of the boys don’t think twice about it and leave for Jersey. That means Frank and I will be alone, FINALLY!!!
“So what do you want to play now I have Pokémon, Black ops 2, and more to choose from?” I ask Frank who is sitting across from me.
“Holy shit that’s hot.” Frank says with a smile from ear to ear plastered on his face.
“What’s hot?” I am confused with what he just said.
“It’s hot that my girlfriend is a big nerd. This just adds to things I love about you.” Frank says and he starts to blush.
I just chuckle and reach for my Pokémon cards that are in cabinet. When all of a sudden I hear a gasp of shock. I look over at Frank with a concerned look, he had a worried/sad look on his face. What is going on?
“Frank what’s wrong?” Worry is in my voice.
“What are those?” He says pointing to my…………wrists.
Oh no. Oh god no. I quickly pull my wrist bands down to cover my scars and newly created cuts. What do I tell him?!? Oh those are cuts that I have given myself since I was 13 because I was bullied, but managed to keep it from my family. What do I tell him?!?
“Oh we had this crazy cat.” I say lying through my teeth.
“Jessica I am not stupid, now tell me how you really got those.” He says crossing his arms wait! Did he just call me Jessica?!
“Frank I don’t want to talk about this. And don’t call me Jessica!” I say tears brimming my eyes.
“Jess why did you do that to yourself? Let me see them.” Frank says really concerned.
“Frank just drop it okay!!!” I am start crying and Frank pulls me into a hug and lets me cry into his chest while he rubs my back.
“Jess I need to see them okay?” He says in a lower sweet voice.
“Uh-um okay.” I wipe my eyes and take my wrist bands off and Frank immediately he scans both my wrists.
“Jess I am not going to ask again. Why did you do this?” His hazel eyes look deep into mine searching for an answer.
“I was bullied and everything they said was true. I am not pretty, nobody loves me and nobody will ever love me.” At this point I am sobbing but try to stop myself.
“Jess none of that is true.” Frank says trying to calm me down.
“NO FRANK IT IS TRUE! I AM NOT PRETTY AND NO ONE WILL EVER LOVE ME!” I haven’t cried since I was 15 I hate the feeling of it.
“You’re right Jess, you’re not pretty. YOU’RE DAMN BEAUTIFUL. But people do love you.” Did Frank just call me beautiful? Nobody has ever called me beautiful.
“Who Frank? Who loves me?” I say with anger and frustration in my voice.
“For god’s sake Jessica. I LOVE YOU!!!” Frank says with truth coating his voice.
Frank gently grabbed my face and kissed me with force. I jumped up and wrapped my legs around his waist. He walked into the bedroom and pushed me up against the wall.
“Jessica I love you so much.” Frank whispered in my ear.
With that Frank slowly laid me onto the bed. I don’t think I should tell him that I he is the one taking my virginity.
*1 hour later*
Frank and I lay on my bed with the black comforter covering our bodies. Frank was playing with my hair and rubbing my back. I was cuddled into Franks toned chest.
“Jessica you will never know how much I love you.” He said into my hair.
“I won’t if you keep calling me Jessica.” I said chuckling lightly.
“*laugh* It sucks we have to keep this a secret.” Frank said sadness over filled his voice.
“I know I am sorry.” I feel bad that we have to keep this a secret.
“But I would walk across the world for you.” After Frank made that statement we fell into a soundless, peaceful, sleep.
Notes
ok so I'm not very good at writing smut so I wrote some fluff kinda, not really. But the new chapter is here as promised and I'm sorry I know this chapter sucks. Anyways hope you enjoy it thank you. =)-toxicfuture
@Anonymous
@Killjoy4077
thank you for the suggestions guys and I will be using all of your guys ideas. thank you for wanting to continue to read the story! the sequel will most likely be up in the next few days. Love you guys <3
-toxicfuture
11/15/13