The Only Hope For Me Is You

*Next Morning*
(Jess’s P.O.V)

We finally made it back to New Jersey I wake up to another pounding headache, I get up and take a hot shower I get out dry off and get dressed into (http://www.polyvore.com/untitled_48/set?id=96974357 ). I step outside to rainy weather, I inhale the fresh, clean smell of rain. I look over ad see the WTK bus I gone I miss them already and I miss Sel and Noah too. I am really depressed I haven’t taken my medicine ever since Frank broke up with me. I go to my brother’s bus and step inside to a very angry Gerard once again and the rest of the boys looking at me with sad eyes. I stand there as confused as what I did to make him angry.
“Why did you have sex with Travis?” His words so cold and harsh.
“I didn’t and I never would.” I say standing my guard. I really didn’t have sex with Travis, the only person I have ever had sex with is Frank.
“Jessica I am not fucking stupid!” He says this time yelling at me.
“Obviously you are if you think I would have sex with Travis.” I am past mad right now.
“Well you made out with Bert, you drink, and you do drugs, why would I not be surprised if you’re a slut either!” That hurt so badly I start crying.
“Gerard that’s not true!” I yell my throat hurts from crying now.
“I WISH YOU WOULD JUST DIE ALREADY! YOU CAUSE SO MUCH TROUBLE FOR ME!” Gerard say his words coated in venom.
“GERARD!” Mikey shouts at Gerard.
“WISH FUCKING GRANTED!” I yell and run out the door and run to my bus. I lock the door and run to the bathroom. I pull off my wrist bands and pull out sleeping and depression pills. I also pull out a razor. I set all the tools on the counter and stare at them while warm tears run down my cheeks. I freeze and look in the mirror. I take out a piece of paper and write my fourth suicide note.

(Gerard’s’ P.O.V)

“WISH FUCKING GRANTED!” Jessica yells and bolt out the door.
“WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!” Frank yells at me.
“GERARD SHE WILL DO IT! WHY DID YOU TELL HER THAT?!” Mikey says I just look at him with fear.
“N-No she won’t.” I stutter.
“YES GERARD SHE WILL SHE CUTS!” Ray yelled at me.
“GERARD SHE HAS BEEN CUTTING SINCE SHE WAS 13! SHE TRIED KILLING HERSELF 3 TIMES!” Mikey yells at me.
I run out the door and run to Jessica’s bus the door is locked and I start to kick and bang on the door.
“JESSICA OPEN THE DOOR!” I yell against the door. She doesn’t answer so I do the same thing again. And again and again.
“JESSICA OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR!” I am now yelling at the top of my lungs and crying at the same time.
The rest of the guys come out and start pulling on the door. They finally get it open and I run to the back of the bus to Jessica’s room. I open the door to a very horrifying sight. My baby sister, my only sister is laying on the ground with blood flowing through her wrists like a river, and hundreds of pills scattered throughout the floor. I bend down and start crying over again, I pick up Jessica and pull her into my lap. I put two fingers to her pulse and it’s very, very weak. Mikey comes in and he calls 911 while crying. All of us our now crying over a girl who we love with all of our hearts. I did this to her. I did this to my baby sister. I look on the ground and find a note with the word “Sorry” on it. I read the note and I start crying again I wish I would have known. I should’ve knew……..

I am sorry Gerard for everything I did to have you hate me. I deserved everything they did and that I have done to myself. I’m sorry Gerard, Mikey, Mom, and Dad that I didn’t tell you about my bullying, anorexia, cutting, and suicide attempts. Mikey knows about my past and current anorexia, he was the only one that understood me at the time. Please know Noah, Selena, Mikey, Ray, Bob, Mom, Dad, and Gerard that I still and always will love you. Frank I still and will forever love you with all my heart even though you never loved me, please know that I forgive you. Also know that none of you had to do with my suicide, so don’t blame Gerard or Frank for this. Trust me the world is better off without me and I want to die. I’m tired of living a life that is pointless. I will be wherever it is you go when you die. Just know I love all of you and I will miss you all so much, I hope you can forgive me for the damage I have done.
So long and goodnight, Jessica Helena Way

(Jess’s P.O.V)

I’m done with this life. I’m done with everything. I open both bottles of pills and take a handful of each. I swallow them and slowly roll up my sleeves and look up and down my wrists. So many white scars there invading my wrists. I feel new tears fall down my down my cheeks. I take the razor and make so many cuts on my damaged wrists. I haven’t eaten in a week and I lost so much weight. But nobody noticed. Not one single person. I feel dizzy and I see back spots. I try to grab something but I knock over both pill bottles and the pills go everywhere. I walk outside of bathroom like I’m drunk. I fall to the ground and slowly start getting tired. This is it. I’m dying. I hear someone bang on the door many times but I can’t get up. I’m dying but know it’ better for everybody. Frank, Gerard, Mikey, Ray, Bob, Selena, Noah. I still love Frank with all my heart and I always will. I will always love my family even though they don’t love me. Well Goodbye. I fall into a deep sleep and I feel nothing, at all.
So long and goodnight.

Notes

this is the chapter I had most trouble with, but don't worry everything works out in the end. Hope you enjoy this chapter until next time. Thank you.
-toxicfuture