Give me a shot to remember

Gerard P.O.V

Alone... its a funny word, you never really know what it feels like, until you're there... in the moment, when you hear the fake sympathy of someone announcing the inevitable...

" unfortunately Mr way It is my job to pass onto you the bad news... your grandmother - Elena - has passed away, she was very sick, as you know, and is now... well... with the angels... I'm sorry for your loss, is there anything you would like me to do for you?"

The words replay in my head like a faulty CD... 'i'm sorry for your loss' , 'passed away'. I replay the sentence again one more time to make sure I'm not hallucinating, and those words, they stick there like gum to the bottom of your shoes or glue to paper.
passed away...
dead...
gone...

The infinite different scenarios of how this has happened juggle around in my head, I try to submerge them into the depths of my forgotten memories but it doesn't work. I'm stuck.

"your mother will come to pick you up, she just called, is that okay?... Mr way?"

I try to form the words, 'its fine' or 'okay' but nothing comes out. Its like there trapped in my throat and pain is blocking the way out. I just nod. Then, seemingly i'm alone in the room. Left there to my own devices, I try sitting on the chairs shifting between each one in the waiting room or leaning against the walls, but nothing conceals the sting that I feel, the ache for affection, the need for someone to awaken me from this dream, but if only it were a dream... however its not, it's a never ending nightmare where nothing changes.

I feel my hands shake so I hold them behind my back, hoping to stop myself from shaking, but it doesn't work. I dig my nails into my palms hard; normally it would hurt and I would react, but not today. I dig my nails into my hands again only this time I pierce the skin and feel the blood seep down my selves. I don't do anything to stop it though. I head outside into the cold and let the blood dry and stain my shirt.

I take a deep breath of the cool winter air, breathing in deeply and out slowly, I tilt my head up to face the sky and only taste the salt when it reaches my mouth, then I realize that I am crying. I don't stop myself though, I just let the tears roll down my face, one after the other until there are no tears left. Until I realize that I am empty

Notes

HEY Its me again:)

different story
different people

hopefully you'll love it:) (please love it)

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