She turns me on
She makes me real
I have to apologize
For the way I feel

I stared at her, swallowing hard, trying my best to hide the fact that I was blushing. She had gotten me all hot and bothered and all I wanted to do was grab her, jump into a cab and take her home to tear off her clothes. But Lana seemed to enjoy herself too much, moving her body to the rhythm of the music, her eyes closed, her hair loosely falling down her back, looking so sexy - all I could do was sit and watch, wishing she'd read my mind and end my suffering.

'Jeez.' Noah muttered next to me, watching his girlfriend just as intently as I was watching mine.

Yes, she was mine. All mine. My Lana. It still felt so unreal but I knew there was no doubt about it. Every part of her seemed devoted to me, just like every part of me was devoted to her, she adored me and I adored her just as much. The fact that no matter how impatient I was getting, no matter how anxious I was to touch her right now, at the end of the night, she would leave with me, she would fall asleep in my arms. How did I get so lucky?

'I know right.' I replied, not taking my eyes off Lana. 'Happy New Year.'

We were in Paris and despite my protests, Lana had dragged me to a club with her friends. I had been worried at first, since I knew that Noah was friends with this guy Mateo but him and his girlfriend Célia, who I had met before, were really nice to me. Actually, they seemed thrilled that Lana and I were back together. Or whatever we were. We hadn't really defined it yet and there was no need to either. She was coming back to New York in a few weeks and we had talked about me moving in with her, since I was still looking for a place anyway. So it was safe to say that we were pretty serious.

Our eyes met and she smiled at me, biting her lips. What a tease, I thought, smiling back at her. I must have looked like an idiot, drooling over her but she had wrapped me around her little finger and she surely liked having this effect on me.

The song ended and 'Red Rain' by The White Stripes came on. I had hoped that Lana would end her little performance and join me again but instead, she pointed her finger at me before making a seductive 'come hither' gesture. I wasn't a dancer but how could I refuse? I jumped up, running over to her quite desperately and she grabbed me by my leather jacket as I hugged her waist.

'Can we go home soon?' I asked and she giggled, giving me a quick peck on the lips that had me craving for more.

'Why? Are you tired?'

'No. Horny.' my hand wandered to the neck cut-out of her dress, running my fingers over her exposed skin.

'Ooooh. Guess what?' her lips brushed against my ear. 'Me too.'

*

I had already started unbuttoning his shirt in the taxi, my lips attached to his neck, making the driver clear his throat as Gerard held back a moan. Now we were in the elevator and my hand was in his pants, giving him somewhat of a relief. We didn't even make it to the bedroom this time, dropping everything as soon as we entered the apartment, his jacket falling to the floor, followed by my coat and dress, followed by his shirt. I withdrew my hand, grabbing his belt and pulling him against me for a passionate kiss. I had never wanted anyone that much. It almost hurt when he wasn't close, wasn't touching me but luckily, in the last week, we had only been separated for brief amounts of time.

I made him sit down before dropping down to my knees in front of him, pulling his pants down with me. Tonight, I was definitely playing with fire and I was loving every second of it. The way he looked at me as I ran my hands up his thighs made me feel so confident about what I was planning to do. My hand wrapped around his erection again, rubbing him up and down before licking my lips, bringing my mouth to his tip. Gerard shuddered in anticipation, a glint in his eye as he looked at me. I had teased him all night and he had been patient with me, now he deserved to get his reward.

'Oh shit. Lana.' he muttered, his head falling back as I took him into my mouth, the taste of him already driving me crazy.

Like so many firsts I had shared with him, this was one too but I got the hang of it easily, the sound of his moans confirming that I was doing it right. Soon, I had him squirming, his hands entangled in my hair and I found myself getting so turned on by the way he thrusted softly up into my mouth, so turned on by how much he was enjoying it, that all I wanted was for him to let go. My tongue teased his tip again while my hands quickened their movements but just when I thought he had reached the point of no return, he pulled back.

I was about to protest but he picked me up and walked us over to the couch.

'I won't let you do this.' he whispered, taking off my lacy black bra and panties. 'I know you want to but I don't get to finish without you. Rule.'

His words made me dizzy before he even touched me, a smile creeping across his face as he realized how pleasing him had gotten me soaking wet. I pleaded for him not to tease me either, all I wanted was to have him inside of me and he seemed to read my mind as his hand spread my legs and he thrusted into me hard. Fuck me, I thought, tonight I don't want to make love, I want to fuck. And again, he gave me exactly what I wanted, not even giving me a chance to catch my breath before taking my lips in a sloppy kiss, picking up the pace, as I scratched his back. My moans mixed with his in no time and the most intense orgasm had me shaking soon after, so intense that I had to push him away, fearing that it would never stop if he didn't let go.

We were addicted to each other.

*

For the first time in my life I was completely and utterly happy. There was nothing more blissful than everyday life with Lana. We didn't have to do anything special, it was just being around her that made me feel so content. Even though we hadn't made any final decision, I was sure that she wanted exactly what I wanted, to continue this.

I could tell she was as happy as I was, smiling ceaselessly with sparks in her eyes whenever she looked at me. She let me in, telling me, showing me, how crazy she was about me. We spent a great deal of time just being with each other, making up for lost time and I didn't feel guilty about neglecting everything else.

'But dude, I'm in Paris! It's our time off.' I complained, stirring my coffee angrily.

'I know and I'm really sorry. They literally gave us no other choice. The papers have to be signed by the end of January.' Brian replied just as annoyed about it as I was.

'Can't you just email them? Or fax? Or send them so I can sign them and send them back to you?'

'No, sorry dude. The label wants you to be there. All of you, so you can meet with the producers. Craig also wants to see you.'

This sucked balls. Now I had to fly to LA just go to a meeting and sign some shit for the new album? I sighed, rubbing my forehead.

'Hey, if you fly out on monday, you'll be back in Paris wednesday night. Wasn't Lana gonna move back to New York anyway?'

'Yeah, not until next month though. They have to find a replacement for her at the ballet school first, she doesn't want to leave before they got someone.'

'Oh, right. Well, I'm sorry I have to tear you away from her but this is really important.' Brian sounded genuine and I knew that there was nothing he could do.

'Sure. I know. I'll be there.' I heard the door opening and Freckles jumped up from her bed, running towards Lana who was returning from running a few errands. 'Hey, I'll see you on the 25th, okay? Bye.' I said to Brian, ending the call.

'What's on the 25th?' Lana asked as I kissed her hello and took the grocery bags from her.

'Ugh, they need me to come to LA for a meeting. Brian didn't bother to tell me until now. But I'll be back here in no time. Won't be gone for more than two or three days.' I explained.

'Oh. Okay. I guess I'll squeeze in the visit to the vet while you're gone so Freckles can get her vaccines. And everything else I don't have time for while you're here because you're so distracting.' she smiled, wrapping her arms around me.

I felt relieved. Of course I knew that she would be understanding but seeing that she didn't mind that I was leaving for a few days was making me feel better about the whole thing immediately. And after all, eventually we had to get used to being apart from each other again, I would start working on the new album again and once we'd start promoting it, I'd miss her even more. But for now I didn't want to think about that. There was still time to find a way to deal with it all. Besides, I could always just take her with me. I was positive that we could find a solution.

*

'Since you are stealing Lana away from me, I demand that you will pay for any plane tickets that I might require to visit her. You're like, famous anyway so that shouldn't be a big problem.' Célia gave Gerard a challenging look and he laughed.

'Fair enough.'

She crossed her arms and glared at him, then at me. We had just told her and Noah that I was leaving Paris to move back into my apartment in New York, with Gerard. Of course they were happy for me, but Célia wouldn't be Célia without making a fuss about it first. The bond between us had strengthened over the last two and a half years and I would miss her and also Noah. They had been amazing friends to me and without them, I wouldn't have gotten through all this.

'You can visit anytime.' I told them. 'And I'm not leaving just yet. I still haven't heard from Madam Bonnet and until them, we're staying here.'

'That reminds me, I've never seen you dance.' Gerard said.

'You've seen me dance on New Years Eve.' I replied, making us both blush.

'Ballet. I've never seen you do Ballet.' he specified.

'You should take him to one of your classes. Make him wear a tutu. I bet you look good in a tutu, Gerard.' Célia joked.

'I do.' Gerard stuck out his tongue at her and I snorted.

And so I ended up taking Gerard to my monday morning class with the 8-10 year olds. He got excited, just watching me pull my hair up into a bun and putting on my leotard and skirt although he was clearly disappointed about the absence of a tutu.

The kids were curious about him but didn't let it distract them as they warmed up while I picked the music. We had visitors quite often since a lot of talent scouts or casting directors chose their dancers from our school. It was a pretty basic beginners lesson but he watched me closely as I showed the children the moves and corrected their posture or toe pointing.

'How did you not fall asleep?' I asked him after the lesson when all the kids had left.

'Because now you're gonna give me a private performance and I've been looking forward to that.' he grinned.

'A private performance?'

'Yeah, I even chose a song already. It's that thingy from Swan thingy.'

'Ohhh the thingy! Got it.' I made fun of him and he scowled at me but walked over to the stereo. A few moments later, 'Song of the Swans' by Tchaikovsky was playing.

'Go!' he said and I rolled my eyes at him.

Truth was, I hadn't danced in front of anyone but the kids in a long time. It was something very intimate for me and although it was silly to be shy with Gerard watching since we had shared so many more intimate moments, I still couldn't help but blush when I started. But after a few seconds, I was too caught up in the music and the movements to really care anymore, the way he was so focused on me making me feel special instead of embarrassed. It was over way too quickly and he clapped, a huge smile on his face as I ran up to him and sat down on the floor next to him.

'You'd make an amazing Princess Odette.' he said and kissed my cheek.

'Oh so you do know Swan Lake!' I pushed him away playfully and he nodded.

'Although the ending is sad.'

'It is. But it also isn't. Odette and Siegfried are united forever and her death frees the other swans from the spell.' I explained and Gerard seemed lost in thought for a while.

'Hmm....but what kind of name is Siegfried anyway?'

Notes

If you've never sexy danced to 'Sunspots' by Nine Inch Nails, I suggest you do it now!

:)