"are you sure?" Gee asked, I nodded my head. It has been a week, and I was finally able to be discharged from the hospital. Gerard and I were fighting over whether or not I was going over to Frank's house tonight.

"Gee, I'll be fine. I swear, when I come home my virginity will be intact," I said defensively. He wasn't having it.

"Mikey, You're staying home. That's final,"

"then can he stay over? It's my first night out of the hospital, and I want to spend it with my boyfriend,"

"fine, but you're keeping your door open,"

I smiled at my small victory; the nurse walked in and informed us that it was okay for me to leave now.

---

Frank, Gerard, and I walked into the dark house. Gerard and I live by ourselves. Our parents disowned us when we came out to them. That was two years ago. Now, we have jobs to help support ourselves, making just enough to get by; Gerard works full-time as a male stripper, while I work weekends at the music shop in town.
Frank and I ran upstairs, Gerard and I picked him up on our way home. Gee called after us, insisting I keep my door open. Insisting? No, more like demanding. I kept my door open, as to his request; entering the room and pulling Frank down onto my bed, kissing his soft lips. We sat next to each other, leaning against the wall. Frank pulled me into his arms, as I did him.

"Mikey, I love you," he whispered into my ear, I kissed his cheek in response. He pulled away, placing his hands on my shoulders. Frank gave me a serious expression.

"I don't want you to hurt yourself anymore, you hear me? No more. I will check you for cuts, and I want your razors," he said, tears about to flow. I looked down at my lap and nodded my head.

"I wanna hear you say it," Frank demanded.

"I won't hurt myself anymore," I replied.

"give me your razors,"

I reached across him, grabbing a small wooden black box off of my nightstand. I resumed my previous position next to Frank, and opened up the lid. Inside were pictures I had kept over the years, bass picks, pictures Gerard drew me, and of course, my razors. Three in all. I reluctantly handed them to Frank, he took them from me, and grabbed my hand. Frank pulled me off the bed and led me to the bathroom. He handed them back to me, gesturing to the toilet. He wants me to flush them? I closed my eyes and tossed in the past three years of my life. They each made a small 'plink' as they hit the water. This is it.... I'm done with self harm. I watched carefully while Frank pushed down the lever. He wrapped his arms around my waist, hugging me and pulling me close. He kissed my cheek. Finalizing everything. I gave a small smile and turned to face him, catching his lips..

---

Just two hours ago, Frank and I flushed my razors. Three years of pain and self-torment gone. Everything felt better now, like the world was at peace. We were laying in bed, drifting off to sleep peacefully. But, why do I feel this... Longing? Why do I feel both complete and torn up at the same time? I opened my eyes to see Frank asleep next to me. He snored softly, his chest rising and falling in time with his breath. I smiled at the sleeping Frank. He had his arms wrapped around me, his head was laying on my chest. I sighed. I want to cut myself so bad, to just feel the satisfying sting of the cool metal blade against my skin. I couldn't take it. I wriggled out from underneath Frank, careful not to wake him; and crept silently to the bathroom, shutting the door behind me. I shed my jacket, allowing it to fall to the floor. I surveyed the counter. Gee's shaving razor was sitting next to the faucet. I stared at it for only a second before I took it in my hands. Without hesitation, I extracted the blade from it's handle. It's so alluring, so... Enticing.... I don't want to go back to it, but I never really quit in the first place. I looked down at my forearms, little white, red, and pink scars littered my skin like stripes on a tiger. I still had the stitches from my suicide attempt. If I cut on my arm... They'll see the self-inflicted wounds. I thought for a second... I could cut on my thigh. I pulled down my boxers just low enough to expose my hip. I took the blade in my hand and cut deep into the sensitive skin. Blood began to bead on the surface of my skin, I grabbed a tissue and started to dab at the crimson liquid. Anxiety enveloped me as the actions I just expressed set in. Gerard is going to kill me when he sees these. I paused, if he sees them, which he won't. Frank might, he wouldn't tell Gerard, would he? Just as I was finishing cleaning the cuts, I heard a soft knock at the door.

"Mikey?" Frank's sleep coated voice came through the wood of the barrier between us. I froze, then began furiously trying to stop the bleeding.

"yeah Frankie?" I asked, keeping my calm as best I could. I heard a slightly relieved sigh. The bleeding finally stopped, so I re-assembled Gerard's razor and flushed my crimson-stained tissues. I put my jacket back on and opened the door, coming face-to-face with a shocked Frank. He composed himself and spoke with a sleepy and devilish smile.

"Gerard's asleep,"

Notes

yay! new chapter!

see? i didn't abandon this story after all!

y'all know the drill, comment, rate, subscribe...

i love all of you so much! thanks for sticking around! i should hopefully have the next chapter posted soon, but i'm not gonna swear to it. also, i'm looking for a co-author who's willing to take on this story with me.
if your interested, message me. i'd really appreciate it :)

so long not goodnight,
~katiekilljoy<4