I'm gona do it. I'm gona do it this time. this time I'll be successful. this time I will kill myself. I, Mikey Way, will finally end my suffering and kill myself.

I brought the blade to my scar-littered arm and cut three deep vertical slices into each arm. I watched as the deep crimson liquid flowed from my flesh and onto the white bathroom tile below me. the world became dark, and soon I collapsed into my own pool of blood.

the world is dark. everything seems so... peaceful. yet at the same time I feel like everything is stirring. I could faintly hear something. I listened closer... is that? is that singing? where am I?
I can hear Gerard... is Gerard singing? it sounds like him...

I opened my eyes to be met with a bright light and blindingly white walls. a hospital. fucking great. I surveyed the room, I was hooked up to machines that beeped a lot.... heart monitor? I blinked a few times, feeling over-whelmed by the situation. I felt someone squeeze my hand next to me; turning my head, I saw my brother sitting next to my hospital bed. his eyes were red and puffy, like he had been crying, his black hair was disshelved (more so than usual). he gave me a small smile, I managed to return it weakly with a slight smile. From the sight of Gerard, tears pricked in my eyes. I looked away from him.

"why'd you do it Mikey?" he asked sullenly. I sighed and gave him my answer.

"Gee, I just cant take it anymore," I replied, holding back tears.

"Mikey, I know its hard, but you need to keep holding on. You're gona pull though, I have faith in you,"

I retracted my hand from him. I threw my head in my hands and squeezed my eyes shut. I sobbed loudly as Gerard hugged and shushed me. He began singing to me like he did so often when we were kids.

"I painted your room at
Midnight, so I'd know
Yesterday was over
I put all your books on the top shelf,
Even the one with the four leaf clover
Man, I'm getting older
I took all your pictures off the wall
and wrapped them in a news paper blanket
I haven't slept in what seems like a century,
and now I can barely breathe

Just like a crow chasing the butterfly
dandelions lost in the summer sky
When you and I were getting high as outer space,
I never thought you'd slip away
I guess I was just a little too late

Your words still serenade me,
Your lullabies won't let me sleep
I've never heard such a haunting melody.
Oh, it's killing me
You know I can barely breathe

Just like a crow chasing the butterfly
dandelions lost in the summer sky
When you and I were getting high as outer space,
I never thought you'd slip away
I guess I was just a little too late

Just like a crow chasing the butterfly
dandelions lost in the summer sky
When you and I were getting high as outer space,
I never thought you'd slip away -

Like a crow chasing the Butterfly
dandelions lost in the summer sky
When you and I were getting high as outer space,
I never thought you'd slip away
I guess I was just a little too late

Just a little too late"

Just seconds after he finished the song, a nurse walked in, killing the moment.

"Mikey Way?" she asked, looking towards me. I nodded my head in reply.

"because of the recent events, we will be holding you for a week. for mental observations." she stated coldly. she left the room and I rolled my eyes. Gerard looked from the door, back to me.

"Mikey, why didn't you tell me? why didn't you tell Ray? or Bob?" he paused for a moment, "what about Frank? did you think of him?"

I sunk at the thought of what my boyfriend would think. Frank... he and I.... we're closer than anything; I didn't think about what would happen with him, if I had actually succeeded this time. I just wanted the pain to stop. I didn't think about the people around me. I looked Gerard dead in the eyes, about to speak, when the door flew open; revealing the nurse, Frank, Ray, and Bob. Speak of the devil...

Frank immediately crossed the room and took my hand. he had tears in his eyes and was trying his hardest to stay calm. it was heartbreaking. I received tearful glances from Ray and Bob, they left the room with Gerard. leaving me alone with Frank. he pulled me into a compassionate hug and kissed the top of my head. we sat in silence for a moment before he began.

"why... why? Mikey, I love you. if you ever hurt yourself like that again, I'm going to resurrect you so I can kiss you one more time.... then I will kill you" he choked out, meaning to sound threatening, but sounding more like a squeaky hamster. before I could reply, his lips were on mine. I gave in to the soft touch of his full lips, I entangled my hands into his hair. he moved his hands to my waist and pulled me closer to him. I pulled him down onto the hospital bed. and me. he kissed me more deeply, gently poking my bottom lip with his tongue. I parted my lips, giving him access. our tongues danced together in sweet harmony. no dominance. no sexual pressure. just pure passion for one another. he pulled away all to soon, leaning his forehead against mine. our breathing was heavy, our eyes were closed. Frank caught his breath and started kissing my neck. he found my sweet spot and I moaned. smiling into my skin, Frank ran his hand down my arm, making me shiver. He pulled back and looked at me.

"I love you. don't ever hurt yourself like this again, or I will find you." he stated. I smiled up at him, then replied.

"anything for you" I said, bringing im into another blissful kiss.

Notes

tada! more fics! this one I'm writing out of a journal... so updates will be weekly... ish. if you liked this, go check out some of my other work! please comment below, rate, and subscribe for the next chapter!

stay strong my little killjoys,
~katiekilljoy<4