New life same thoughts
Monsters
My mom had convinced gerard to go with me after he denied once she said I was going to court. She didn't say why but I sure as hell wasn't going to say anything until I had too.
We arrived at the court house and my mom walked me in before being told that she wasn't allowed any further because of the restraining order in place for my dad.
They arent allowed within fifty feet of each other according to the restraining order but I don't think they'd ever willingly get that close after what happened.
I might as we'll explain what happened to gerard somewhat so he's not going to freak when he hears. I already know I'm going to freak out just from seeing my dad for the first time in almost three years but if gerard was freaking out there would be no one there to comfort me.
"Gee...." I whispered using his nickname mikey used all the time. It felt like the appropriate time to call him that. Calling him gerard would just add tension. He looked at me and waited for me to continue.
"Before we go in there." I said nodding towards the door that the judge, my dad, and probably some security guards were behind. "I think you should at least know what's going on....or what happened."
"I was kinda wondering but I didn't really wanna press it...but why can I go in with you and not your mom?" He said awkwardly.
"my dads behind that door......I haven't seen him in three years and my mom.....my mom can't go in because there's a restraining order between them." I said averting my eyes to the ground.
"listen gerar-gee. I don't know what's goning to happen or really why I have to see him at all but......"
I sighed and took a deep breath. I felt tears begin to flow down my face. I was about to continue but my name was called for me to enter the court room.
I looked at at gerard and grabbed his hand. "Listen I just can't say it. I can't bring myself to relive it just promise me you won't freak out when you find out what happened." I paused for a moment before looking directly into his eyes. "I'm scared."
"Is it really that bad?" He asked chewing on his lip. I would've responded but the judge called my name again. I walked slowly into the room and didn't like what I saw.
The judge and my dad were sitting at a table. The Judge (judge mason) was on the end and my dad was sitting on one side facing the chair meant for me.
i squeezed Gerard's hand harder not wanting him to let go. I know we really don't get along and I basically think he should rot in hell but anyone in the world was a better person than my dad in my mind.
The security guard pulled another chair over for gerard and told us to take a seat. I was gnawing on my lip ring violently trying to literally bite back my tears. I sat down slowly staring at my dad. He was looking looking at me. Just looking at my whole body and it made me feel uncomfortable.
"Frank you've changed a lot." He whispered before the judge silenced him.
"Mr.iero who is the man with you." Judge asked.
"He's here for support. His names gerard." I said not wanting to tell the judge that we actually hated each other. At the moment we probably looked like a couple not a bully and his victim.
"Ok well then let's continue." He said picking up some documents.
"Frank your father has requested to spend your sixteenth birthday with you. Your mother doesn't have full custody and technically he should be allowed to see you whenever he wants but because of the circumstances your birthday if spent your father will be supervised we just need your approval and we need to review what happened to confirm that neither of your stories have changed."
"They weren't fucking stories." I spat out trying to stay calm.
"Mr. Iero please only speak when I speak to you."
he said coldly.
"Now franklin jr. Would you like to tell me what happened between you two. If your storie still matches up it will look less of a lie even If you claim it isnt. Remember I'm a judge I wasn't there to see wether this actually happened or not so please tell me what happened."
I sat there just looking at mine and gerards hands linked together. I didn't feel comfortable. I could feel my 'dad' and Gerard looking at me.
"Mr.iero we're waiting."
"he raped me."
I had barely whispered the words but I felt Gerard's hand stiffen.
"please elaborate."
I bit my lip and continued while staring at the ground and nothing else.
"I was thirteen almost fourteen and had just been in my room playing guitar. He...he had lately been yelling at me more and would hit me and call me a cunt and a failure and say that I was a walking fuck up. one night though he took me out to a movie as an apology.....mom was at work and when we got to the movies we were the only ones there. Half way through he pinned me against my seat and straddled me...."
I was stumbling over my words because I was crying. I would've continued but I broke down in front of everyone and began shaking a sobbing violently.
"Mr.iero jr. Thank you, you don't have to continue but I have some questions to ask if you could please answer yes or no." He said still sounding completely cold.
"Was this the first time you're father had ever touched you in a sexual way?"
"No."
"Had he ever touched you in public or acted inappropriate around you in front of family?"
"Yes."
"Had you ever told him that you wanted him to touch you?"
"no"
"were you gay at that point in time."
"I was bi."
"Are you still interested in the same gender as you in any way?"
"Yes."
"were you ever attracted to your father?"
"No."
"Is it true that your father raped you numerous times?"
"Yes."
"Was the sex ever consensual?"
"No."
"Did he ever fully rape you by entering you?"
"Yes."
"You were suicidal at that point in time before this happened correct?"
"yes."
"You still are suicidal but have been attending therapy daily?"
"Yes."
"Was your father ever a reason you wanted to die?"
"Yes."
"are you comfortable with spending your sixteenth birthday with him under supervision?"
"No."
"And the reason being?"
"He's a fucking monster!"
We arrived at the court house and my mom walked me in before being told that she wasn't allowed any further because of the restraining order in place for my dad.
They arent allowed within fifty feet of each other according to the restraining order but I don't think they'd ever willingly get that close after what happened.
I might as we'll explain what happened to gerard somewhat so he's not going to freak when he hears. I already know I'm going to freak out just from seeing my dad for the first time in almost three years but if gerard was freaking out there would be no one there to comfort me.
"Gee...." I whispered using his nickname mikey used all the time. It felt like the appropriate time to call him that. Calling him gerard would just add tension. He looked at me and waited for me to continue.
"Before we go in there." I said nodding towards the door that the judge, my dad, and probably some security guards were behind. "I think you should at least know what's going on....or what happened."
"I was kinda wondering but I didn't really wanna press it...but why can I go in with you and not your mom?" He said awkwardly.
"my dads behind that door......I haven't seen him in three years and my mom.....my mom can't go in because there's a restraining order between them." I said averting my eyes to the ground.
"listen gerar-gee. I don't know what's goning to happen or really why I have to see him at all but......"
I sighed and took a deep breath. I felt tears begin to flow down my face. I was about to continue but my name was called for me to enter the court room.
I looked at at gerard and grabbed his hand. "Listen I just can't say it. I can't bring myself to relive it just promise me you won't freak out when you find out what happened." I paused for a moment before looking directly into his eyes. "I'm scared."
"Is it really that bad?" He asked chewing on his lip. I would've responded but the judge called my name again. I walked slowly into the room and didn't like what I saw.
The judge and my dad were sitting at a table. The Judge (judge mason) was on the end and my dad was sitting on one side facing the chair meant for me.
i squeezed Gerard's hand harder not wanting him to let go. I know we really don't get along and I basically think he should rot in hell but anyone in the world was a better person than my dad in my mind.
The security guard pulled another chair over for gerard and told us to take a seat. I was gnawing on my lip ring violently trying to literally bite back my tears. I sat down slowly staring at my dad. He was looking looking at me. Just looking at my whole body and it made me feel uncomfortable.
"Frank you've changed a lot." He whispered before the judge silenced him.
"Mr.iero who is the man with you." Judge asked.
"He's here for support. His names gerard." I said not wanting to tell the judge that we actually hated each other. At the moment we probably looked like a couple not a bully and his victim.
"Ok well then let's continue." He said picking up some documents.
"Frank your father has requested to spend your sixteenth birthday with you. Your mother doesn't have full custody and technically he should be allowed to see you whenever he wants but because of the circumstances your birthday if spent your father will be supervised we just need your approval and we need to review what happened to confirm that neither of your stories have changed."
"They weren't fucking stories." I spat out trying to stay calm.
"Mr. Iero please only speak when I speak to you."
he said coldly.
"Now franklin jr. Would you like to tell me what happened between you two. If your storie still matches up it will look less of a lie even If you claim it isnt. Remember I'm a judge I wasn't there to see wether this actually happened or not so please tell me what happened."
I sat there just looking at mine and gerards hands linked together. I didn't feel comfortable. I could feel my 'dad' and Gerard looking at me.
"Mr.iero we're waiting."
"he raped me."
I had barely whispered the words but I felt Gerard's hand stiffen.
"please elaborate."
I bit my lip and continued while staring at the ground and nothing else.
"I was thirteen almost fourteen and had just been in my room playing guitar. He...he had lately been yelling at me more and would hit me and call me a cunt and a failure and say that I was a walking fuck up. one night though he took me out to a movie as an apology.....mom was at work and when we got to the movies we were the only ones there. Half way through he pinned me against my seat and straddled me...."
I was stumbling over my words because I was crying. I would've continued but I broke down in front of everyone and began shaking a sobbing violently.
"Mr.iero jr. Thank you, you don't have to continue but I have some questions to ask if you could please answer yes or no." He said still sounding completely cold.
"Was this the first time you're father had ever touched you in a sexual way?"
"No."
"Had he ever touched you in public or acted inappropriate around you in front of family?"
"Yes."
"Had you ever told him that you wanted him to touch you?"
"no"
"were you gay at that point in time."
"I was bi."
"Are you still interested in the same gender as you in any way?"
"Yes."
"were you ever attracted to your father?"
"No."
"Is it true that your father raped you numerous times?"
"Yes."
"Was the sex ever consensual?"
"No."
"Did he ever fully rape you by entering you?"
"Yes."
"You were suicidal at that point in time before this happened correct?"
"yes."
"You still are suicidal but have been attending therapy daily?"
"Yes."
"Was your father ever a reason you wanted to die?"
"Yes."
"are you comfortable with spending your sixteenth birthday with him under supervision?"
"No."
"And the reason being?"
"He's a fucking monster!"
Binged read this.
Love it!
2/8/16