The shrill call of the alarm woke us at 8:30: today was the day. I got out of bed and went to brush my teeth and grab a quick shower; the detox center was expecting us around noon. I stepped under the hot water, letting it relax my muscles and wash away the dirt, thinking about how hard it was going to be to drop Frank off when the time came.

I had dried off and went into the living room, finding Frank sitting on the balcony, a cup of coffee in his hand along with a cigarette. My hair was still damp and hanging limply around my face and as I stepped onto the balcony I instantly felt chilled from the January breeze.

“Hey.”

I said, trying not to startle him for he seemed consumed by his own thoughts. Frank turned to look at me, a sad smile playing on his lips.

“Hi.”

I stood by the door; arms crossed studying him and his sadness.

“We should leave soon, their expecting you at noon.”

He nodded his head and looked at his shoes.

“Hey, you okay?”

I asked stepping towards him.

“Yeah, I think so.”

“Okay.”

I didn’t believe him, but there was not much I could do or say to change it. He was taking a step in the right direction so it was a start; a start at a better life for him and for us.
I walked back into the apartment and poured myself a cup of coffee, leaving it black and letting it burn my mouth when I took a sip.

I felt hands snake around my waist and jumped slightly.

“It’s just me.”

Frank whispered in my ear making me blush slightly.

“I didn’t even hear you.”

I whispered back, leaning into him; he bent down and kissed my cheek. The expression of affection was gentle and innocent; the way things used to be and it stole my breath, made my heart skip a beat. Maybe we could make it after all.

---

At 10:30 we started packing the car, filling the trunk with a suitcase, pillow and Frank’s backpack. Frank said a goodbye to Roger before we left the apartment and took a long look around before stuffing his hands in his pockets and walking out the door before me.

We got into the car and took a last stop at Starbucks, getting the usual before leaving Belleville. The drive to the detox center was mostly silent excluding the radio and lighting of cigarettes.

We pulled into the driveway just before twelve; I shut the car off and looked over at Frank.

“We’re here.”

Was all I said.

“Yeah, I guess so.”

I grabbed for a smoke and turned in my seat to face him.

“Hey, it’s going to be okay. Let’s just have a smoke and then we can go in.”

Frank nodded his head and lit a cigarette, his hands visibly shaking. We finished our smokes and exited the car, going to the trunk and grabbing Frank’s bags as we headed to the entrance.

We walked through the doors and went over to the desk that was just beyond them, a lady in a nurses’ uniform was seated behind a computer typing vigorously. She noticed us and looked up giving us a smile.

“Hello, can I help you?”

She asked a little too happily. I waited for Frank to say something and when he didn’t I spoke for him.

“Yeah this is Frank Iero; he was supposed to be admitted today.”

“Alright just give me a moment.”

I thanked her and turned to Frank while we waited. He looked lost and scared so I stepped towards him and placed a hand on his arm.

“Hey, it’s okay.”

I whispered.

“I know.”

Was all he said, lifting his head and giving me one of his half-smiles; the ones that made me melt from the inside out. The secretary cleared her throat getting our attention as she placed some papers on the desk.

“If you can just fill these out, someone will be here in a moment to take care of your intake. Please feel free to have a seat.”

She said as she gestured to the chairs across from the desk. I grabbed the papers and took a seat beside Frank, handing them to him along with a pen.

He filled them out and then left them on the desk when he was finished, taking his seat again.

He reached for my hand and intertwined our fingers, placing them on his thigh as he bounced his knee.

The ten minutes or so we waited for the intake worker seemed like seconds, and when he walked around the corner calling Frank’s name my heart dropped into my stomach.

“Yeah?”

Frank said getting up and tugging at my hand till I was standing beside him, barely any air between us.

“My name is Neil; I’ll be doing your intake today. Is this your stuff?”

He asked pointing to the bags by the chair.

“Yeah, it is.”

Frank said nodding.

“Okay well I will let you two say goodbye then.”

I watched as Frank’s eyes widened as he gripped tighter at my hand.

“She can’t come with us to do the intake?”

I hinted panic in his voice as Neil gave a sympathetic look and shook his head no.

“I’m afraid not, we find our clients are more honest with us when it’s on a one-on-one basis. I’ll give you a minute to say your goodbyes.”

He walked over and picked up Frank’s bags, taking them to the far side of the desk and then stood waiting for Frank. I turned to him and grabbed his other hand, lacing my fingers with his, my eyes welling up with tears.

“Nicole I don’t know if I can do this…”

I stood shocked for a moment.

“What do you mean, you can’t do this?”

He sighed and looked into my eyes.

“I don’t know if I can say goodbye to you.”

My tears spilled over my lashes and wet my cheeks, a small airy chuckle escaping my lips, the kind you make when you are relived and have been holding your breath.

“Frank this isn’t goodbye. I’ll be right here waiting when you get out.”

“You promise?”

I wrapped my arms around his neck and cried into his shoulder, holding him as close as possible; whispering in his ear,

“I promise baby.”

His arms encased me and we stood there holding each other; lost in our own world until Neil cleared his throat. Letting us know it was time to go.

“I love you Nic.”

Frank whispered before kissing my lips and pulling himself from my grasp.

“I love you too.”

I didn’t know what else to say, so I stood there silent as Frank let go of my hand and walked down the hall. Before they rounded the corner he stopped and turned to me, staring at me with scared eyes and a sad smile.

I smiled weakly back at him as he disappeared.

I stayed in the lobby waiting for Frank to run back to me; but after about five minutes I sighed and walked out the automatic door into the cold New Jersey air to my car.

Notes

Hope everyone had a great Christmas!
I feel like this chapter is lacking somehow but I've spent the past three days trying to make it work, so I just decided to post it and maybe come back and edit it later.
Chapter Twenty-One will be posted in the next few days.
Rate + Review.

Helena.