The first picture I took with the new lens from Gerard was the creaky fifth step on the stairwell, and I couldn't have prayed for a better day outside the light shining in just right. It really was breathtaking in my book, if a picture of a stain worn wooden stair could be breathtaking that is. But it was to me and it purveyed everything I had wanted it to. The new lens was smooth and made me go out more often, able to get better distance shots, or shots from atop buildings, as I had found myself doing more and more often. Searching for the soul of Jersey from a bird's eye view, looking down with out it knowing it was being watched. I liked things unplanned.

The guys called often, often right when I was at work, they seemed to forget that while they were out playing rock star I was not living with the same time schedule, I still worked my normal shift. But I didn't mind, I liked receiving the eleven million messages at the end of the night, plenty of long ramblings of what was passing outside the window as the drove by, by Frankie. So long in fact that the phone would cut him off and he would call back to continue his description of the sky line, or the surrounding animal life. Really quite thrilling, but anything Frankie said was fun to listen to, especially since he was always so enthralled about each and every thing, like he had never experienced it before, he really did have the heart of a child. All the guys left messages, telling me of the newest and more current anecdote from tour. It was really like they weren't so far away from me.

When they're weren't a million messages from everyone I spent my time at the museum, expanding my repertoire of sketchings and doodles, trying to find a muse in a pencil line like Gerard did. But failing miserably, it wasn't where my talent lie. But I found myself wanting to do things that not only reminded me of all the guys but of Gerard strongest of all. I didn't know, but I felt a kinship to him more so than the others, even though Frankie and I were like two bumpy peas in a pod. I didn't know what it was but I found myself going to that hill top he had taken me to that first night, to hear Jersey, and snapping shots of it, or any other of million places. I just shrugged it off, especially since my feelings were off a little as late. The whole this is too highly surreal and way to paperback novel perfect like and about to blow up in my face because of that feeling still hadn't gone away.

My birthday came quicker than I had expected, I blamed it on the fact that I found a new series at the public library that had swallowed me whole and had yet to spit me back out again. But that's what I loved about good books, how they could take you away and transport you somewhere else, not that I needed to be anywhere more perfect that here, but it was still nice.

This time around when I came downstairs for work it wasn't just Reta, Ernie and Sam there surprising me as I walked in, it was just about every single one of the regulars. That was a whole bunch of people to squeeze into hiding spots in a not so large diner, and it made me smile. And almost cry, though not sad tears. I really couldn't believe that they had done this for me, a little miss nobody from Kansas, transplanted into their city, into their state. My whole day had been wonderful, almost fairy tale like, people who hadn't been there in the morning coming in on their normal times and wishing me birthday tidings. People brought baked goods and dishes of food as presents, and I had a feeling that I was going to gain twenty pounds just from making a tiny dent in all the items brought for me by everyone. Reta made Sam take it up to my apartment in batches so it didn't overflow much needed counter space.

When work finally ended I was pretty sure I wasn't going to have to buy food for the next month, especially since I didn't have the guys around to help dig in. At the thought of the guys it made my face drop a little, they hadn't called all day, and they hadn't called the day before either. I knew they did everything for me before they left, but I still would have liked to hear from them on the actual day. It was still odd celebrating my first birthday in a new state, city, section of the country. And while everything else had been so perfect this one little thing kind of killed it for me, and while I tried to keep up my happy face as I walked to the nearby coffee shop for a special birthday coffee I couldn't really. Birthdays had always been a touchy subject for me, just always been that way.
-xXx-
After I ordered my coffee and waited for it I watched people passing outside the large glass windows, getting to their final destinations for the night, bustling about their business. I wondered if any of them had their birthdays today, or if they knew anyone who did and if so what they'd be doing. I periodically checked my phone every twenty seconds or so, to see if they had called even though I had put it on vibrate to be able to hear it over the inner workings of the cafe. I didn't know why I was wanting them to call so bad, I had only just begun to know them, to be thought of as a friend, but for some gut reason I really wanted them to call. FInally my order was up and I took it, thanking the tired looking college student behind the counter and made my way out of the cafe, hot cup of joe in hand.

I walked down the street, people thinning as this part of town never got much street foot traffic at night, but it didn't really bother me. As I got next to a closed up convenient store I heard someone's cell phone go off and automatically thought of mine. Placing my coffee down on the street so I could frantically search for mine I fumbled around till I found it. Taking it out I saw that it hadn't been mine, besides, mine was on vibrate and not ring. Sighing I went to put it back in my pocket and to pick my coffee back up when I felt the wind knocked out of me, my phone knocked from my hands and my vision go momentarily blurry as a sharp pain cracked through my head.

As I came back around I felt a weight on my body as I unconsciously tried to struggle, someone was on top of me, body on my torso, holding me down. I went to cry out but I felt hands wrap themselves around my throat and squeeze. I was being strangled.

I fought back, trying to scratch but my assailant was wearing gloves and a long jacket making it impossible for me to get a grip on him. As I tried flailing about I felt my lack of air start to take in effect, gasping like a fish out of water. My ears started to hum, and my eyes kept closing, I was going to end soon if I didn't do something, my vision was going grey. Lolling my head to the side I saw my abandoned coffee still where I had placed it.

Reaching out as I kicked my legs as a distraction I grabbed a hold of it and squeezed so the top popped off and then tossed it into my assailants eyes.

I heard him scream and I gasped for air as his hands flew off my neck to his own face, and if I hadn't already known he was male his scream of agony would have given it away. As he scrambled to get off me I kicked out as hard as I could, hoping to get him square where it hurts and I succeeded as I heard him gasp in a different kind of pain and drop to the ground. I was still struggling to breathe and my vision was still unfocused as I tried to crawl away, the pain in my head and limbs making it hard for me to move. As I crawled, trying to get away before my assailant got up to try again, which I knew I couldn't fight again I saw my saving grace. My phone. It was bumping around on the broken gravel, someone was calling and it was vibrating around. I silently thanked whatever that it wasn't on ringer so as to not alert my attacker.

As I finally reached my phone I pushed on, by flipping it open, and put it to my ear, hoping to get whomever it was to call the cops, or something.

"Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday dear Jay! Happy birthday to you!" all the guys and Sharon chorused on their end of the phone.

I gasped into the phone, trying to speak but finding my throat still in too much pain and too damaged to form words.

"Jay?" I heard a worried Gerard ask over the phone.

I rasped hoarsely into the phone again, which was more vocal than my last attempt had been. Time slowed, I had no idea how long this was taking, and my vision started to blur again, this time more severe.

"Jay? What's going on?" Gerard asked, sounding freaked.

"Help," I managed to gasp out before my world went black, no idea if my attacker had stuck around to finish the job.

Notes

And so, shit doth hit the fan.
There is no perfect in the real world.
There is only balance.