"All right world and fellow music moshers, we're My Chemical Romance as you well know. And this song is called Our Lady of Sorrows," Gerard said loudly into the mic.

At his speech and announcement the crowd went wild, screaming, yelling and jumping around. Guess they were fairly popular. It made me feel so out of the loop, not with the guys, but with the world. How I could of never heard of them as Gerard's voice rang over the monitors was beyond my own capability to reason. Not only were his words beautiful, his voice was haunting to the point of bringing one to tears. His voice seemed to convey to you exactly what he had been feeling when he wrote the song, and he was re-feeling as he sang it to the audience. I stood in awe, almost forgetting to use my camera. Lifting the black device to my eye I went about doing what I had been told I do best. Capture time in still frame to tell the world their personal story without words.

I let the sounds coming from the guys sway how I took each shot as they played their set, whether or not it was in color depended on how the notes spoke to me and moved my hands. I let the sound waves guide me to where I should take the shot.

I got a fairly impressive one of Frankie with his head bent over his guitar as he played his heart out, ignoring the world around him, only seeing his instrument. I got one of Bob standing up and pointing out to the audience, revving them up. I got one of Ray and Gerard sharing a mic, and great one of Mikey actually breaking into a smile while he played his bass. I found that he didn't really do anything other than stand and play, no emotion on his face as he got lost in the music. But it seemed to fit his persona on the stage.

I had taken many, many shots of them as they played, but none of just Gerard. Nothing had spoken to me as a photo yet, where he was just alone, and I was bumming. He had such a power on stage and I wanted to catch it perfectly.

"I'm going down to the guard walk in front," I yelled at Sharon, miming to her where I was going as I lifted my camera for added emphasis.

She nodded her head at me and went back to bobbing her head along to the music enthusiastically. As I neared the stairs I turned as snapped two quick shots of her, without her knowing. She had said earlier that she hated having her photo taken and always purposefully made faces when a camera was pointed her way so that the picture wouldn't be taken. I had made it my goal to snap some of her, but she had always been too close to take any without her knowing.

I smiled at Gary as I turned back around to make my way down the stairs that led to the catwalk area where the guards stood and took people safely down that had been crowd surfing. He smiled back and let me pass. As I got down there and in position the final notes from the song they had just played, Headfirst For Halos, rang through the system speakers.

"All right guys, it's been an amazing night with you all, and we'll be back soon. This is our last song of the night and it's called Demolition Lovers," Gerard said into his mic before stepping away from it and adjusting his leather coat that he was still wearing.

I swore under my breath as the crowd cheered. I prayed that I got some shots during this song since it was their last, or I would be bumming. I switched my camera on and looked up just as Gerard stepped back up to the mic and opened his mouth.

"Hand in mine, into your icy blues. And then I'd say to you we could take to the highway, with this trunk of ammunition too. I'd end my days with you in a hail of bullets," Gerard sang and I felt the flesh on my arms raise and he looked directly at me as he sang.

I felt my arms lifting on their own accord and snapping a shot, I wasn't even looking through the damn lens. I was just shooting as he sang.

"I'm trying, I'm trying to let you know just how much you mean to me. And after all the things we put each other through and," Gerard sang on, his eyes not leaving mine.

I stared back as I moved along the catwalk snapping shots of him, not even bothering to look in the view finder. I didn't need to, the words and the music were doing my job for me basically, guiding my camera as it saw fit. I couldn't not stare at him, his eyes were reflecting the bright stage lights that were illuminating the band like a god send, and yet they seemed to be dark opaque surfaces where he held everything. And it wasn't so much his face I was staring at, but more like trying to see into his head to see what the words meant to him. I could feel it, but I wanted to know. I had already admitted to myself that I was falling in love with Gerard's words, and now I was just solidifying that fact. I was hypnotized.

"But this time, I mean it. I'll let you know just how much you mean to me. As snow falls on desert sky, until the end of everything. As days fade, and nights grow and we go cold," Gerard's voice sang loudly with the music.

I finally brought the camera to my eye, wanting to see what I was taking. As I focused through the finder I saw Gerard close his eyes and drop his head a bit as he continued singing. I flicked over to black and white and took two rapid fire shots, hoping I caught the moment as he had lifted his head a second later. I took a few steps down the side of the stage and snapped some shots of Ray, ears always focused on Gerard though.

Moving to the farthest end of the guard walk I angled in on Gerard, he was staring out into the crowd, a hand stretching out reached towards something that no one but him could see. If it wasn't obvious through his voice and his lyrics how the song touched him, it showed on his face. It was all there for the world to see. I snapped the shot in black and white and then went back to stand in front of him.

I snagged a great shot of Bob and then paused as Gerard sang.

"And as we're falling down, and in this pool of blood. And as we're touching hands, and as we're falling down," he sang, focusing his eyes back on this plane of reality.

I raised my camera to take a shot. Gerard swung his head and looked me dead in the eyes, causing me to pause as he sang.

"I'll see your eyes, and in this pool of blood," he sang as he stared directly into my eyes, almost looking directly into me.

I felt myself slowly lowering the camera, as I continued to match his stare.

"I'll meet your eyes, I mean this forever," Gerard finished singing, eyes not leaving mine.

The goose bumps came back.

His words were amazing.

As the music came to an end I shook myself from the stupor his words had left me in.

"Thank you guys and good night," Gerard said as he waved to the crowd and made to follow the rest of the guys who were mostly already off the stage.

As he neared the side of the stage Sharon leapt at him, wrapping her arms around his neck and placing a big kiss on his lips regardless of the sweat. It made me smile and I snagged a shot of it, figuring they would appreciate it. As the band exited the stage I took the time to pause and scan through my photos from the night. I stood for a bit, deleting ones that I felt were no good, or the few that were blurry to the point of no use to me. Then I heard a shout behind me.

"Jay?!" two newly familiar voice yelled behind me, like right behind me almost.

I spun and was greeted with the faces of Star and Sheela, decked out to the nines for the show. I found this surprising, yet should have expected this from them.

"Hello there," I said cheerfully as I let my camera hang against my chest as I approached the smallish barrier.

"What the hell are you doing here? See you got new duds. I thought you were new to Jersey. Are you photographing for one of the bands?" Star asked as I got to them and leaned on the edge with my elbows.

"I am new here. And while I wasn't specifically photographing one of the bands if the guys want any of my pics they can sure as hell use them," I said in response, shrugging my shoulders.

I had planned on showing the guys any of the good ones and giving them to use if they wanted them for anything.

"The guys?" Sheela asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah, the guys. The band," I started to explain but heard screeching behind me and felt myself being pounced on.

"Jay, Jay, Jay!! We just played a killer set! Did you like it? Did you, did you, did you?" Frankie asked at a million miles an hour from my back, where his overly sweaty body was now clinging.

I dumped him off my back and turned to respond.

"Yes Frankie, I loved it. Beyond anything I've ever heard. You might just have some talent in that little body of yours," I teased as I poked him in the side.

"Hey, we're the exact, AH!" Frankie all of a sudden screamed and jumped behind me.

I looked down at him cowering behind me and then looked to where he was looking. At Sheela and Star, who were looking just as shocked as Frankie was scared.

"My Chem are the guys you were talking about?" Sheela asked loudly.

"Uh, yes? You know them?" I asked lamely.

"Duh, I've know that little idgit behind you since he was toddling around in nothing but shitty diapers and runny snot. I use to baby sit him," Sheela said with a loud laugh.

I looked down at Frankie behind me who nodded yes and smiled sheepishly. That explained the shout from him. I saw the other guys approach me and Frankie from behind. They all gave Frankie weird looks till they directed their gaze to that ahead of us when he jerked his head that direction. Then Bob's eyes lit up.

"Sheels!" he said loudly as he went up to the barrier and gave Sheela a large hug.

Sheela hugged back with the exact enthusiasm as Bob did.

"God I'm so glad you could make it tonight," Bob said as he let her go.

"And this lug here I've loved my entire life, or his as the case may be," Sheela said as she rested her elbow on Bob's shoulder and he split into a shit eating grin.

I felt my face drop in shock. Bob had a girlfriend? What? Last I knew Gerard was the only one attached to anyone. How had I missed that? And I guess it showed on my face what I was thinking because as soon as I opened my mouth to speak finally, Sheela broke out into her own shit eating grin.

"Bob the builder here is my younger, less attractive, no where near as smart, brother," Sheela said turning to smile sweetly at Bob as she batted her eyelashes at him.

Bob scoffed and stepped out from under her arm, causing her balance to tip since she had been leaning on him almost fully, causing her to almost fall. She shot him a glare and in turn he smiled at her sweetly and batted his eyelashes at her. Yup. They were definitely siblings. Don't know how I didn't pick up on the facial similarities before. At that I turned to look at Star.

"You related to any of them?" I asked as I jerked a thumb over my shoulder at the guys standing behind me

"Oh thank god no, and not dating any of them either. Nope, just known them for about as long as Sheela here since we've been best friends since we were little. I also helped baby sit Frank with Sheels," Star said.

"So you use to run around in nothing but shitty diapers and runny snot?" I turned and asked Frankie, interest peeked.

"Oh get off it, so did you at one point. You're not all that much older than me anyway so don't even go there," Frankie said as he crossed his arms over his chest.

"Oh don't pout Frankie it makes you look more fem then you already do. Now, I say we get to business. Beer," Star said as she hiked a leg over the barrier and climbed over.

Gary didn't even bat an eye, must be he recognized her and Sheela for who they were. God I felt so out of the loop with the world!
-xXx-
"Twenty one bottles of booze on the wall, twenty one bottles of booze. You take one dow..." Frankie sang cheerfully from across the table.

"Frank!" everyone shouted in unison to shut him up.

His song had started at one hundred and he had been singing it continuously since then.

We had hung out at the venue a bit so the guys could rest from playing there show and then pack up before going out for the night. We had just sat around lazing about and chit chatted, and I had learned some fairly damaging tidbits about the guys growing up, mainly Frankie. All in all it had been a good time, it was nice to have people around that seemed relaxed and at peace with who they were as people. It gave me just a bit of hope that maybe, just maybe I would come into my own while here in Jersey and not have to move on, for it was quickly growing on me. The people, the state, the music, the lifestyle, it all as a whole really.

Afterwards we had all crowded back into vehicles and drove the half hour back so the trailer could be unloaded and left behind. After that we pig piled and went out to a bar that they all frequented, for playing gigs and for hanging out. It was medium sized and pleasant, the bartenders were friendly and seemed to know the group, just like back at Reta's. We had been there for over an hour at this point and put our own dent into the beer supply, though Sharon drank strictly girly mixed drinks. To each their own I guess, I had never really drank anything other than copious amounts of beer, and that being back in my freshman year of college. So this was new.

"Shot time," Gerard sang out as he came back to our shared booth that we had pushed a table to since there were so many of us, nine in point of fact.

Mikey and Gerard placed the shots down and Gerard handed them out to their respective drinkers. This was new, I had never really done shots before. I looked down at the clear pale amber liquid and went to sniff it to see what it was.

"DON'T do that," Gerard said quickly as he stuck his hand hovering over the top of my glass shot glass.

"Why?" I asked, confused.

"It's tequila, and you never smell tequila, nor any liquor for that matter, or you will never touch it. The shit smells like cleaning supplies, if not worse, but tastes oh so good," he said as he slowly pulled his hand back as I sat up.

Everyone smiled a bit at my naivete but not putting me down. I grabbed my smooth glass and lifted it with everyone else, they all had different liquids in theirs of all colors.

"To a killer show, to new friends, and old. And to a partially new Jay as she finds herself in Jersey and hopefully never leaves us," Gerard toasted as he raised his shot glass of similar liquid at me.

"Here here," everyone chorused as they through back their shots at once.

I at least knew how to take a shot so did not breath in when I tossed it back. I then proceeded to make a quick face but then found that as I grabbed for my beer as a chaser that I liked the flavor and put my beer down for a second.

"Yay she likes it and takes it like a pro," Mikey shouted as he clapped me on the back heartily.

"It's good, a bit pungent, but good. Warms you up," I smiled as I replied.

"I knew you and I would get along beautifully from the first time I saw you," Gerard said as smiled in his eyes at me over the top of his beer bottle.

"Back when she was random girl with notebook in Reta's and you were Mr. I'm running late today but this time I around I'm on time," Ray said happily.

"Yeah back then," Gerard said softly enough to not be heard.

But I caught it. It made me smile. It felt nice that the guys had seen something in me even back then that first day I was in Jersey, back when I had no idea what was in me. Guess Jersey was working it's magic on me.
-xXx-
"Night Gerard, thanks for the ride," I said as I opened the car door outside of my apartment.

We had stayed the rest of the night at the bar, just drinking and laughing, sharing bad humiliating stories from our past and basically just hanging at. It let me get to know them better, and differently then I had up to this point, they were more open because of the alcohol. Not they were really all that closed about themselves to begin with, it was just different. Everyone had gone back to their respective places and Gerard had opted to drive me home and I had agreed. It now being two in the morning, or a little after.

"I'll walk you up, I wanna see your apartment anyway. That is as long as it's okay with you," Gerard said as I stood outside the car, ready to shut the door.

"Why not, it's not all that impressive. And I'm messy as all hell actually, but if that doesn't bother you then come on up," I said then shut his door as he got out.

"Here we are," I said when we finally got to my door and I unlocked it, pushing it open.

"Wow, it's nice. Especially for one person apartments, they're usually shitty," Gerard said as he came it, looking around the open space as I shut the door.

"I like it," I said as I tossed my bag on my couch.

"Where did you get this?" Gerard asked touched one of my wall hangings I had put up to color the room since I didn't know how long I was staying and didn't want to paint.

"I got it from this Peruvian couple that came to my campus selling stuff during a fair once. I loved the color and the patterns so I bought it. Ever since it's been displayed somehow," I said as I went up and traced my fingers over the hanging.

It was rich ochre and green colors, with royal purple and ocean blue woven through out the fabric. Black had been woven in in intricate designs, I loved it the moment I had seen it.

"What did you major in?" Gerard asked as he went about my apartment, admiring the few things I had brought with me, and had added since I came here.

"I majored in political science and chemistry," I said nonchalantly as I let my own eyes wonder about my apartment.

It needed coloring, it needed more me in it.

"Wow. Like, wow. You're a giant nerd then," Gerard teased as he picked up some plates I had left and brought them into my tiny kitchen that I only ever rarely used since I normally ate downstairs.

"And you're a wanna be rock star," I teased back as I pouted a little at his nerd comment.

"Not a wanna be, an inspiring and almost there rock star. And don't worry, I like nerds. They come in all shapes in sizes. My brother and I collect comic books, so to each their own I guess," Gerard said as he smiled at me.

"I think comic book collecting is a bit cooler than poli-sci and chemistry," I said as I took more dishes I had found into the kitchen where Gerard had started washing them in my tiny sink.

"Maybe, depending on how you look at it. I read about super villains exploding things with bombs on paper while you have the knowledge to build them. Or in a less crazy person sense, you get to make cool things go boom, and understand how they go boom," Gerard said as he took the dishes from my hands and suds'ed them.

"I guess," I said as I took the dishes he had washed and dried them and put them away.
-xXx-
"Have you ever thought about painting this place different?" Gerard asked later after we had done the dishes and even picked up the main living area a bit.

Now we were sitting on my couch with the television on though we were more just talking than watching it. It was more for background noise.

"I had, but I didn't know how long I was going to be here and didn't know what Reta would think if I just slapped paint down and then ended up leaving," I answered, shrugging my shoulders.

"Well it's already been settled, whether you were aware of it or not, that you're staying in Jersey. It's just the way things are going to be," Gerard said rather matter of factually.

"If you say so," I said laughing a bit at his final sounding statement.

"I do. And I think that we should paint this place, I know Reta wouldn't mind," Gerard said.

"What do you mean we keemosabi?" I asked warily, raising an eyebrow at him as I turned to look at him.

"I mean that tomorrow we are painting this place. You have no choice in the matter, it's been decided. So I will be leaving now and will be back bright and early tomorrow and we will paint," Gerard said as he stood up from the couch.

"I think you're crazy as a nutter, but that there is no changing your mind once you set it to something," I said as I too got up and walked with him to the door where he got his leather jacket.

"Good as long as you realize this now early on in the game we'll be the best of friends forever," Gerard said as I opened the door for him.

"Got it, duly noted. And thanks," I said as he started to leave.

"For what?" he asked as he stopped right outside my door.

"For everything really. For taking notice of me in the diner. For sticking up for me. For taking me out to hang and lending me your friends. For spending the day with me, taking me to the show. I don't know really, for everything I guess. I'm in a trying time, slightly unstable as to where I'm going, and it's nice to have someone lend a hand," I said, not really knowing what I was trying to thank him for, but wanting it at least to be said.

Regardless of how retarded it sounded. No matter what he thought, I really didn't have a way with words in any form.

"It was my pleasure, you looked like someone who had something to share and I just wanted to find out what it was. And besides I kinda like ya, as do the rest of my delinquent friends," Gerard said as he ruffled my hair.

"Hey I don't know how to style this," I said as I frantically tried to fix my hair.

"See ya bright and early Jay bird," Gerard said as he went down my stairs.

I glowered at his back and turned back into my apartment, shutting the door behind me. Leaning against it I looked around and smiled thinking about tomorrow. Walking into my room I grabbed my journal and opened it.

"Met a wall who disguises himself as a human, the beard hides nothing. Bob the builder has an older sister, and Frankie use to run around in diapers. A crowd at a concert holds no individuality, everyone looks the same in the dark under the pulsing sound waves. Adults still play hide and seek, humans never fully evolve from their child like state I guess. Eyes can shine and be opaque windows all at the same time. Boys can be clothes whores too. I like tequila. Tomorrow I give new life to old walls. Jersey is speaking to me a bit louder, this time through car trips and sweaty happy faces."

Smiling I closed my book.

Notes

Obviously I own the right to add whatever siblings I see fit since I don't own the guys!!!
So yes, Bob has a made up sister damn it!

That being said. . . This is one of my FAVORITE chapters!!!