"I'm okay, I promise," I wrote on the small bright yellow note card.

Gently I placed it on the coffee maker, knowing it would the first place anyone saw anything, coffee kept us going. Ever since our collective freshman year of college, I think it was our common tie.

Sighing to myself I hefted up my bag and grabbed my suitcase before taking one last look around the apartment we collectively shared. You would have no idea that two girls and two guys lived here, none what so ever. It looked like a pack of rhinos collided with a pack of neat freaks, it was a very odd combination. Especially when both collision teams had one of the opposite sex on it. I was on the messy rhino side.

Taking one last look I sighed silently and walked out the front door, locking it silently behind me.
-xXx-
"What can I get ya hun?" a loud waitress asked kindly as she popped her gum at me.

"Uh, just some coffee please. And an ashtray?" I asked skeptically, I had no idea the rules here.

"Coming right up hun," she said affectionately as she snapped her gum and turned back to the counter.

I was in the middle of New Jersey, alone, with all my shit, soon to be drinking coffee in a tiny diner that looked like time had forgotten yet affected. This read like a bad paper back already and I had only ran away from life a handfull or so days ago. Since then I had drifted from place to place, wandering about the states looking for, well looking for me actually. I parceled my money correctly, though I really wasn't worried about running out, and kept myself to myself. It was better that way.

"Here ya go dear, and the bagel and jam is on the house. You looked like you could use a pick me up and a smile," the loud waitress said as she deposited my items in front of me.

She had opened the bagel so it looked like eyes and formed the jam packets into a smile. It made me smile as she filled my off white coffee mug full of fresh steaming liquid gold. I like New Jersey so far.

"Thank you," I replied kindly as she snapped her gum and laid a reassuring hand on my shoulder before turning back to the rest of the patrons.

I poured a small dash of sugar in my coffee and waited for it to cool down a bit before ingesting. I pulled out my cigarettes, laying them on the table next to my coffee and smiley face breakfast, and then pulled out my diary. No, journal. Yes, journal sounds more grown up. I had kept one ever since I decided that I needed out, that I needed to run, and had been keeping a log of things to date so far on my trip of self discovery. Opening the medium sized black book to the bookmarked place I read the last bit of the last entry.

"Pennsylvania. Large, open, vast, empty. Lots of factories, the air smells of factory smoke, people are quiet and keep to themselves. I don't think I like Pennsylvania. I don't think I'll stay. So onto the next stop I get to, I think I'll try New Jersey. It's small, it's a nice shape on the map, maybe the people are better. I didn't even get to see the damn chocolate place. Pennsylvania sucked ass."

I smiled, so far New Jersey was shaping up to be much better than Pennsylvania. Though to be fair I hadn't given the other state much of a chance. One bad run in with a creepy factory worker and I had black listed the entire state, the entire Pennsylvania people as a whole. Which I hated doing, I hated judging a mass by one, it was never fair to the other two through how ever many else.

I sipped my coffee as I clicked my pen into action and started jotted down notes in my newest entry.

"New Jersey. So far so good. The waitresses are loud, they snap their gum and have atrocious accents. BUT they are also kind, call you hun, go out of their way to make your day and make great smiley faces with bagels and jam. Coffee is hot and black, you can smoke in their diners, and even the gruff old men smile when they come in the swinging doors of their favorite diner. So far, Jersey is much better. We'll see."

I smiled as I laid my pen to rest before taking another sip of my coffee. It was hot, and strong, and the best coffee to date on my trip. I liked it here.

I took another sip of my coffee, stuck a lit cigarette loosely between my lips and started spreading jam on my still warm bagel. I took a drag out of the side of my lips as I finished spreading the purply red goo when the door bell chimed as someone came in.

"Hi Reta," a loud voice boomed.

"Hi boys," the loud, gum snapping waitress said.

So Reta was her name. Probably could have figured that out myself if I had paid attention to her name tag earlier. Oh well.

"The usual guys?" Reta asked, a smile staining her face a happy shape.

"What else," one of them replied.

There were four guys, all dressed similar. In black. Though they seemed to smile a lot, and chatted actively with the people sitting around them. They seemed like good people.

"Where is he? He's never late for Reta's," one with big hair said.

So Reta owned the place. Huh.

"I don't know, he's pro-," a thin looking one started to speak but the front door crashed open loudly, cutting him off.

"Probably running late," the new comer said out of breath as he picked himself up from almost tripping over his own feet.

Sitting down with his friends he caught his breath.

"Coffee for you mister I'm running late today, iced tea for you Ray, milk for Bob, decaf coffee for you sir Mikey, and last but not least a large OJ for Frankie," Reta said as she placed the drinks in front of the boys.

"Hooray for OJ! Oh that rhymed," the one supposedly called Frank exclaimed excitedly as he clapped his hands together and grabbed for his tall orange drink happily.

A few of the older patrons chuckled at his outburst.

I opened my book as I ashed my cigarette and grabbed my pen.

"Reta is loud waitresses name, she owns the joint. Orange juice makes Jersey people happy. Reta's diner is a place where everyone knows your name."

Smiling I placed my cigarette in the ashtray and took a large bite of my purply red sticky bagel. It was still warm.

"Bagels stay warm."
-xXx-
"You alright hun? No where to go or just taking a lazy day?" Reta asked.

It was after lunch time, I had stayed all day at the diner. Not moving, just drinking coffee, smoking cancer sticks, doodling in my journal and taking in the scenery. Reta hadn't minded, always filled my coffee when it looked like it needed it, brought me a menu when lunch rolled around and said it was on the house. Whatever I ordered. I ordered a ruben with home made fries. It was the best lunch I've ever eaten. The ruben was almost the size of my head with hot corn beef and more sauerkraut than I could shake a fist at. And the fries were piled so high I could barely see the gargantuan sandwich, and they were hand cut home made fires. Basically it was a good thing I didn't care about weight because I could feel my arteries closing at the sight of the meal when Reta placed the steaming plate in front of me.

After eating I had stayed some more, and it was now roughly three in the afternoon. I had been here since seven. The mysterious guys from the morning had long since gone, wishing a hearty goodbye to Reta, promising to return tomorrow like always. It made me smile.

"Actually it's a weird combination of the two. I left the place I called home some days ago and here I am," I said, the short and sweet version of it I guess.

Reta sat down across from me, gave the guy behind in the kitchen a hand signal and unpinned her name tag, carefully placing it on the table beside her elbow.

"I ran off at the age of sixteen, to see the world I said. To do incredible things I said. And I wound up getting pregnant, addicted to drugs, losing my baby and finally wound up here, looking for work. Looking for anything. I had no idea of self, or anything of the world. I was a mess, hadn't eaten a right meal in days, nor washed, I was detoxing since I hadn't had a fix in days and life was the lowest for me. The previous owner took me in, fed me, gave me a place to crash, washed and clothed me, let me stay through detox and gave me a job. I've worked here ever since, never went to high school nor any fancy college, but I own my own restaurant now. So I know a a little of what it's like," Reta said with a pleasant smile on her face.

So maybe our stories weren't exactly the same, but there were enough similarities.

"How long did it take you to find yourself?" I asked as I passed her a cigarette when I got one for myself.

"I don't know exactly when I found myself, everything was so new back then it's hard to say. It might have been when I first met Ernie, my husband and head cook back there," Reta said as she pointed over shoulder to the giant man behind the counter filling coffee in his cook's apron.

I smiled a bit at the beast of a man.

"But I don't know really, but it came eventually. Is that what you're out doing? Finding yourself?" she asked as she exhaled smoke.

"Yeah. I found myself losing myself a long time ago, back when I was in college. I wasn't me anymore, I was someone else. And afterwards I had moved in with college friends, I began to grate at my surroundings, but never said anything. And then over a week ago I just upped and left, not saying a word to anyone and just leaving a note and walking out the front door, locking it behind me for forever. And here I am, sitting here planning my next move after many sights seen. No closer to finding myself than I was when I started, but I like Jersey's feel so far. Much better than Pennsylvania," I joked.

"What's your next move?" she asked kindly.

"I don't know really, find a hostile somewhere here, sit down and think and plan what's next. I've just kind of been going with the flow so far, seeing where the beat of the country takes me. At some point I'll have to stop and settle since money won't be around forever and at some point I'll have to have more funds. I'm just hoping that I've found myself by then, but I plan well and I've parceled even better, keeping a strict regiment on cash spending, so I'll be alright for a bit more," I said as I sipped on my coffee.

Reta refilled it as she had sat down with a pot in her hand.

"A hostile?" she asked confused as she topped off my cup.

"Yeah, a youth hostile. It's a cheap place for travelers to stay while out and about. Not the swaggest of places, but it's a place to crash, to wash, to sleep. To think. It's what I've been doing since heading out," I explained.

"Hows about we strike a deal?" she asked, eyebrow raised as she ashed her cigarette and squashed it out.

"A deal?" I asked back, perplexed.

"I have a small apartment above the diner. You stay there for a bit, as if you were at a hostile, only free of charge. You think things out and come to me when you've decided your next move. And if that's to stay in Jersey, even if for a little bit, you can have a job here. It's not the classiest of places, not the most posh. But the pay is steady, the people are nice, and you eat free of charge, and all the coffee you could ever want," Reta explained as she stood up to back to work.

"Why?" I asked at the sudden severe outburst of kindness.

"Because I see a little of me in you, and know what it's like to need a helping hand from a stranger every once and a while," she said smiling as she turned to back to her customers.

But I stopped her with my voice.

"Jayden," I said loudly.

Reta turned to look at me at my outburst.

"My name's Jayden. I'm from Salina Kansas. And I'd love to take you up on that offer," I said hastily.

"All right Jayden from Salina Kansas, you've got it," Reta said as she smiled and stepped behind the counter.

I smiled and opened my book.

"I am Jayden Horraspeak. I am from Salina Kansas and I've traveled the U.S. looking for myself. I've just found a glimmer in Jersey."

Notes

Okay, so if this story looks familiar it's because it IS familiar!!!
I am a writer on Mibba and I brought my story over here after a very lovely invite to try it out.

I've got quite few chapters of this here story written so I'll slowly be posting them.
I always post in 2 chapter sets just an advanced warning for when I get to my new stuff that I'm writing now.
I can't wait to see how this site goes!

I'm Jesse and I hope you enjoy my story Jersey's Voice!!!