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Mibba

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January

"My penis is huge." I wore glasses. I'm the weird guy that's too afraid to bring up a single thing to a man like Mr.Way. He works at the cubicle next to mine, we are usually the last two in the building.
"Excuse me?" I took a seat in front of his desk.
"My penis. It's pretty big." I pushed my glasses up, and we both managed to keep straight faces.
"Do you want to get fired?" He asked.
"No. I'd preffer not to, but word around the office is that yours is large too." I pushed up my glasses again and crossed my legs.
"I haven't shown anybody here my penis, and I don't plan to. Why are you in my cube?" I didn't know what he was thinking, but I wasn't afraid to ask.
"I want to have sex with you." I said seriously.
"Oh Iero." he let out a deep sigh, "Iero. Iero. Iero. We've worked together for 8 years, and you're asking me this now? I barely know you. You barely talk to anyone."
"I'm asking you now because it's a proven fact that everybody looks most beautiful every Wednsday at 3:30 p.m. exactly." I sat closer about an inch; hoping to look more attractive.
"But it's 10:00 pm...on a Friday." He leaned in too.
"You still look beautiful anyways, and my hormones must be raging because I have an affectionate side for you, I think positive things about you, you gave me butterflies every time I've seen you for the past 8 years. I know I barely know you, because we barely talk, but I want to have sex with you, and I wanted to inform you that I have a fairly large penis that I want to insert into your booty." He laughed a little, as if what I said was amusing.
"That's cute Mr.Iero, but I just think of you as a coworker and nothing more. I have my own life to live, and just because I'm singe, doesn't mean I want a relationship." I pushed my glasses up again, and uncrossed my legs so that they were now open for more sexual appeal.
"I promise I won't complain. We can do it at my place if you prefer. I have an appartment right down the block. You can ride on the handlebar of my bicycle on the way there." I insisted.
"Wouldn't this count as sexual harrassment?" he asked.
"No. I am asking you a question. But sexual harrassment would be grabbing your package, saying sexual comments or insults at you, or slapping ass for motivation." He laughed at me again.
"Wouldn't you telling me that your 'penis is huge' be a sexual related comment and be accounted for sexual harrassment?" He asked.
"No. It was not a sexual related comment, it was a fact." He laughed once again. I tucked up my glasses and gave a quick smile.
"Can I ask you something, Mr.Iero?" He asked.
"Anything you'd like sir." He leaned in, and I did the same.
He whispered' "Here's the deal: We go to your place, but we walk on separate sides of the street. We go into your appartment and we start it off. I preffer oral and anal, but if your a good boy, I'l let you do what you want with me. Tomorrow morning, I'll leave alone, and we keep this relationship a secret. No one must know about our little deal. We don't talk before work, during work, or after work on Monday-through-Thrursdays. Every Friday, I'll leave a green sticky note on the coffee machine in the confrence room to let you know if we still have a thing. Don't call me, don't text me, or don't e-mail me about anything unless it's work-related. And if I get in a relationship with a woman, don't be a bitch about it, because if and when the time comes, your services will be done, you got that?" I nodded in approval.
"Leave in 5 minutes, and I'll leave in 10. Which appartment do you stay in?" he asked quietly.
"The red one, 5th floor. Room 1oo6." I whispered back.
"Leave a pencil in the door so i can get in, and you better be prepared or else I'll leave." I nodded again, tucked up my glasses and stood up to return to my cube. I got my things and saved the ducuments on my computer onto my flash drive and left the building. But I clocked myself out, of course.

Notes

It has a happy ending. Stop your bitching, Miranda!!!!

Comments

@Radioactive Shadow
*munching loudly* THANKS! I would be your friend too if we knew each other. :)
ms.MCR ms.MCR
10/20/13
@ms.MCR
we'd be best friends if i knew you :)
Have a cookie!
Carbon Titties Carbon Titties
10/20/13
This was awesome, quick and to the point. You are right One Direction is NOT a band, not even fucking close!
ms.MCR ms.MCR
10/19/13