For the longest time, Frank didn't move. He sat still on the floor, haunted by the fight.
"I told Gerard I didn't want to see him. He won't come by anymore. What's the big deal?"
The big deal, he knew, was that he did care about Gerard, and he did like Gerard. A lot. And regardless of anything, that wasn't the way to end it. He knew he had to talk to Gerard.
But when he finally worked up the courage to go to Gerard's house, Gerard wasn't home. Mikey answered.
"Hey, what's wrong?" Mikey asked quickly, seeing the look on Frank's face.
"Mikey, I really fucked up." He moaned.
"Where's Gerard?" Mikey instantly asked. "What happened to him?"
They both went to Mikey's room quickly and sat down. Frank told Mikey the entire story. He told Mikey how Gerard had been acting, how confused it left Frank, how when he was with Gerard, it all felt great but when Gerard left it felt wrong. He told him about how Gerard kissing him at school made him feel and how Gerard drunkenly came to Frank’s house.
The entire time, Mikey offered no words or even a thought, his face complete blank, but Frank could feel Mikey burning him with his eyes to tell more, to continue, and so on.
"And then, he just says that he loves me." Frank said.
"What did you say?!" Mikey demanded suddenly.
"I-I mean I-"
"What did you say to my brother??"
"I told him that I didn't believe him. And then he just starts SCREAMING at me that I didn't care about him and kept saying "tell me you don't care!"
"What did you say??!!" Mikey yelled. Frank froze. Finally, he managed to say "I told him that I didn't care about him."
"YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE! HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO HIM??" Mikey shouted. He started slapping Frank, just like Gerard had, and Frank stuck out his arms to protect himself.
"What was I supposed to say??? You're brother is a fucking psychopath!"
"YOU FUCKING IDIOT! YOU'RE JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE!! YOU ALL ACT LIKE GERARD ISN’T EVEN HUMAN!"
"He doesn't act like it!" Frank yelled. "He's insane!!"
“SHUT UP! SHUT UP! I know what he is and what he isn't. You don't know anything about him!"
"He's crazy! You're the only one who doesn't see that!"
"You all treat him like he doesn't matter! How do you think he feels about that? What, do you think he doesn't care?? Did you ever take a fucking moment to look at his wrists??"
Frank froze, terror filling his body. Mikey shook with anger, and said coldly "He's been cutting himself since he was 11. Or did you not care? Like everybody else! I'm the only one who cares about him and that's not enough! He tried to kill himself before! But none of you care!"
Frank felt a lump in his throat. He swallowed and said "how did it happen?"
Mikey suddenly looked scared. He faced an empty corner, as if he could see it happening.
"Dad was beating him worse than usual- I was too scared and selfish to come down and help him and I was waiting for him. And dad, he's punching Gerard and hitting him and Gerard tried to hold up his arms to block his face, and dad saw his cuts and started screaming that Gerard was insane. And then he suddenly shoved Gerard against a wall and was holding a knife up and kept saying "do you wanna die so badly? Do it! Nobody wants you, nobody needs you! Just kill yourself! Now!" And Gerard started crying"
Suddenly, the vision of Gerard crying was incredibly vivid. Frank tried to shake the thought away, but it refused to leave.
"He kept crying 'I don't wanna die, Daddy!' Over and over again and dad yelled "want me to do it for you?" And I started screaming and dad went to hit me and Gerard just stayed there. He wouldn't move at all he- he just kept crying and I had to beg him to go and we both ran to his room together and he just kept crying that he was gonna kill himself and I..." Mikey's voice cracked. He pressed his hands against his ears, shaking hard, twisting his head back and forth, as if trying to shake the thought from his head. Frank was frozen. Mikey opened his eyes slowly again.
"I said 'please don't leave me alone!" And he- he just kept saying that nobody loved him, and that if our parents hated him then who could ever love him, and that he was gonna kill himself. Fuck, he was only 14 and that's all he kept saying. I really thought he meant it. I just, all I could do was keep saying "I love you! Please, you can't leave me alone!" And then we both just stayed there the entire night crying. And every night, I still am worried he's gonna do it. He's come so close- once he cut too deep and had to go to the hospital and he kept telling me it was an accident, but I never believed him. I want to, but I can't. And I'm always scared I'm gonna come home and find out he's gone. I mean, some nights, I just sleep in his room to make sure that he won't do anything. Because even if you don't, I love Gerard. He's my brother and he’s my best friend."
Frank didn’t even look up- he could feel Mikey's accusing glare burning into him.
"I care about him, too. I was just trying to get him to leave before he made everything more confusing." He tried to explain. "I gotta go talk to him."
"No you don't!" Mikey said quickly. "You're gonna make everything worse."
"I can't just let it end like that, Mikey. Come on; please let me go see him." Frank begged. Mikey paused, thinking it over.
"I think I know where Gerard went." He began. "But if you do anything that makes him upset, you better just leave him alone."
Frank nodded. "I will."
"Fine. Let’s go."

Notes

One more chapter left.