Make a wish when a Blackbird flies
Chapter 4
It was finally the end of the day, a long and exhausting day; you try telling an ex convict that his girlfriend has been banging some mailman while he was in the slammer without getting your face punched in, and don't tell me they can't cry. I just wanted to collapse on my bed, I wasn't even hungry, not that I would have much choice in food.
Because the caravan was open 'till late, it was already dark when I made my way over to my personal caravan. It was hidden away in a clearing behind the main amusement park, along with all the other caravans, and unlike most people who shared one with a second person, I had mine all to myself; I prefer to be alone. I quickly found mine, not even having to look where I went. I heard some people milling about, hanging out with friends and just having fun; I ignored them and they ignored me, it wasn't that they weren't my friends, they were, they just knew I didn't do that kind of stuff.
I unlocked the door and stumbled inside, my feet dragging on the floor I was so tired. Once the door was shut and locked behind me I switched the light on - we had electricity thanks to a powerful solar-powered generator that was hooked up to every caravan, it was pretty expensive and everyone had to contribute to the cost.
As quickly as I could I sat heavily on the single bed and took my shoes off, then just looked around at what had been my home for several years. There wasn't much space, I think this was the smallest caravan in the park, but I didn't mind; there was just enough space for the bed, a small stove on the other side underneath which was a cabinet to store food, a square tale in the middle with a single chair and a bedside set of drawers which contained my very few sets of clothes. I didn't see it as small, more like cozy, just perfect for me, I wasn't exactly the tallest person, just over five feet.
I started emptying my pockets next, depositing various objects on the bedside dresser; my cards, my pack of cigarettes, paperclips which I seemed to find everywhere and a rolled up bill, the one that detective had given me. I unfolded it, thinking that I had seen the number 20 in the corner. I mean, he couldn't have given me a full 20 could he? Folded up inside was another piece of paper which fell to the ground. The money certainly was a 20, I guess he really wanted to be forgiven. I picked up the second paper and saw some numbers scrawled on it, I didn't get a chance to read them all as a vision appeared before my eyes.
This one was different from the ones I had earlier, a lot different. It was kind of confusing from my perspective, it was in some sort of bar, everything was dulling to the senses. Bright lights seemed to shine from everywhere, I could hear voices, loud voices, like at least a hundred people were talking at once and underneath all that I could hear faint techno music, the vibration of the beats resonating in my chest. The smell was the most overpowering, from what I could tell it mostly consisted of alcohol, smoke and sweat.
The scene changed, it seemed I was right up at the counter, I could barely see anything out of my blurry vision, I could just about make out the full glass in front of me. Whoever I was seeing this through reached out to take it but missed and knocked the glass over, pouring it's contents all over the counter; it didn't matter, everything tasted like vomit anyway.
All of a sudden a second hand came into my line of vision, someone else's of course and they grabbed me by the wrist pulling me around to face them. I didn't know who they were, I couldn't even see them, All I could feel was their warm breath on my face that smelled worse than anything else in this place. They were still squeezing my wrist, so tightly that I could almost feel my bones breaking.
As I came back to reality I gasped and immediately dropped what I was holding and covered my mouth to try and stop the bile I could feel rising up. My wrist gave a pang of pain and as soon as I could control my gag reflex I pulled m sleeve up to check for any marks. Nothing. I sighed, I couldn't tell weather that vision had anything to do with detective Way - it was his number after all - maybe I was seeing things through his eyes, or maybe it was just a memory.
I looked down at the floor where the note had dropped to, it was facing up and I could see the numbers; he wanted me to call him? Even if I wanted to I had no way of doing so, I didn't own a phone and the closest land line was the pay-phone across the street from the carnival entrance, and there was no way I was going to use that. So I did the next best thing and placed one of my shoes on the note and tried my best to forget about it all, and lay face down on my pillow.
I really hope I never see that man again, nothing against him, I mean his visit was a change to my everyday routine; there was just something about him that didn't sit right, he made me feel strange and I know from experience that feeling this was never a good thing. Though I had a feeling he would be coming back - if I hadn't scared him off today - they all did for more information; they just used me for a while then forgot about me, story of my life.
I was used to it, but it didn't hurt any less to know I was just a carnival freak to the outside world; that's why it was safer for me to stay here, people here stuck together, we helped each other, we were like a family. I drifted off to sleep with those thoughts circling my mind, but not my dreams.
Just like every night I found myself in those white, never ending hallways, just going on forever; I would start out by just walking, not long after I would accelerate, gaining speed at every turn, until I was running so fast you would think I was being chased by some kind of monster, that's what it felt like. I would just keep running until I couldn't feel my legs, until my lungs felt like I was drowning; just running, never finding my way out of this maze, until I finally woke up screaming and fighting to catch my breath.
But this night was different, among the long twisting corridors there seemed to be a dead end, the only thing keeping me from being completely trapped was a door, a big red door that seemed so out of place in this mass of white. My body automatically moved towards it, my hand stretched out to turn the gold coloured knob, once it was open all I could see on the other side was a black emptiness and cold air was rushing out in my face.Once again my body moved without my control.
Once I was over the threshold everything changed, I was in someone's house, a place I had never been in or even seen before; so why did I feel like I missed the place? I looked for the kitchen, there was something in there, I knew it; I found it immediately, I knew this wasn't my house, it was much too big, but I felt like I knew the place like I had been here before, I just couldn't remember when or who it actually belonged to.
Once inside the kitchen I didn't need to look around, the only thing that caught my attention was the round table in a corner surrounded by four chairs, on top of the table were my tarot cards in a neat stack. I walked over to them and picked out a card. The image was of two naked people, a man and a woman, embracing each other; the lovers. I picked a second card, it was the same as the first, but the features of the two were more recognizable.
I picked another card, then another, until at the last card I could clearly see the two people, the two lovers, were me and a pale black haired boy I had never seen. I stared at the card, instead of feeling confusion all I could feel was happiness, I couldn't help but smile; but then I started wandering what it all meant and in my frustration I scattered the cards off the table, but they didn't land on the floor, they started flying and floating around my head. The image on each card disappeared being replaced by fragments of what looked like movie clips.
Each one was of that boy doing...anything, smiling, talking, moving, all of this floating in front of my eyes. He looked young in them, as if thees images were of the past and that's when I realized that they were memories, my memories, and I knew the boy in the floating cards, I knew his name but I couldn't quite remember, no matter how hard I tried with every fiber of my being; that boy meant something to me, he was everything.
That's when the pain started, terrible searing pain, from the sides of my head, growing in intensity and traveling down my spine until I was screaming and collapsing to the ground, my hands fisted in my hair; the images were gone, all that was left was the excruciating pain, like thousands of volts of electricity were running through my brain, making me convulse and spasm.
"Don't hold him down!" Said a voice and I barely heard it over the sound of my own screaming.
"He's going to hurt himself." Said someone else. My body rolled to the side and I felt myself fall and land painfully. I opened my eyes, I was on the floor of my caravan as I had fallen out of bed. I looked around and practically the whole camp was standing at my door, only Ryan, the carnival owner, and Nancy, the doctor, were on the inside closer to me.
I still felt pain and my body kept convulsing as if I were having some sort of seizure.
"HELP!" I screamed, the pain was everywhere, I could barely breath. "PLEASE! MAKE IT-STOP!" I could see some people were crying for me, I was crying too but for a very different reason. It seemed like eternity had passed before the pain started to finally subside as did the convulsing. Finally when I was only twitching on the floor I felt exhausted from my fit and gratefully passed into a dreamless slumber.
Because the caravan was open 'till late, it was already dark when I made my way over to my personal caravan. It was hidden away in a clearing behind the main amusement park, along with all the other caravans, and unlike most people who shared one with a second person, I had mine all to myself; I prefer to be alone. I quickly found mine, not even having to look where I went. I heard some people milling about, hanging out with friends and just having fun; I ignored them and they ignored me, it wasn't that they weren't my friends, they were, they just knew I didn't do that kind of stuff.
I unlocked the door and stumbled inside, my feet dragging on the floor I was so tired. Once the door was shut and locked behind me I switched the light on - we had electricity thanks to a powerful solar-powered generator that was hooked up to every caravan, it was pretty expensive and everyone had to contribute to the cost.
As quickly as I could I sat heavily on the single bed and took my shoes off, then just looked around at what had been my home for several years. There wasn't much space, I think this was the smallest caravan in the park, but I didn't mind; there was just enough space for the bed, a small stove on the other side underneath which was a cabinet to store food, a square tale in the middle with a single chair and a bedside set of drawers which contained my very few sets of clothes. I didn't see it as small, more like cozy, just perfect for me, I wasn't exactly the tallest person, just over five feet.
I started emptying my pockets next, depositing various objects on the bedside dresser; my cards, my pack of cigarettes, paperclips which I seemed to find everywhere and a rolled up bill, the one that detective had given me. I unfolded it, thinking that I had seen the number 20 in the corner. I mean, he couldn't have given me a full 20 could he? Folded up inside was another piece of paper which fell to the ground. The money certainly was a 20, I guess he really wanted to be forgiven. I picked up the second paper and saw some numbers scrawled on it, I didn't get a chance to read them all as a vision appeared before my eyes.
This one was different from the ones I had earlier, a lot different. It was kind of confusing from my perspective, it was in some sort of bar, everything was dulling to the senses. Bright lights seemed to shine from everywhere, I could hear voices, loud voices, like at least a hundred people were talking at once and underneath all that I could hear faint techno music, the vibration of the beats resonating in my chest. The smell was the most overpowering, from what I could tell it mostly consisted of alcohol, smoke and sweat.
The scene changed, it seemed I was right up at the counter, I could barely see anything out of my blurry vision, I could just about make out the full glass in front of me. Whoever I was seeing this through reached out to take it but missed and knocked the glass over, pouring it's contents all over the counter; it didn't matter, everything tasted like vomit anyway.
All of a sudden a second hand came into my line of vision, someone else's of course and they grabbed me by the wrist pulling me around to face them. I didn't know who they were, I couldn't even see them, All I could feel was their warm breath on my face that smelled worse than anything else in this place. They were still squeezing my wrist, so tightly that I could almost feel my bones breaking.
As I came back to reality I gasped and immediately dropped what I was holding and covered my mouth to try and stop the bile I could feel rising up. My wrist gave a pang of pain and as soon as I could control my gag reflex I pulled m sleeve up to check for any marks. Nothing. I sighed, I couldn't tell weather that vision had anything to do with detective Way - it was his number after all - maybe I was seeing things through his eyes, or maybe it was just a memory.
I looked down at the floor where the note had dropped to, it was facing up and I could see the numbers; he wanted me to call him? Even if I wanted to I had no way of doing so, I didn't own a phone and the closest land line was the pay-phone across the street from the carnival entrance, and there was no way I was going to use that. So I did the next best thing and placed one of my shoes on the note and tried my best to forget about it all, and lay face down on my pillow.
I really hope I never see that man again, nothing against him, I mean his visit was a change to my everyday routine; there was just something about him that didn't sit right, he made me feel strange and I know from experience that feeling this was never a good thing. Though I had a feeling he would be coming back - if I hadn't scared him off today - they all did for more information; they just used me for a while then forgot about me, story of my life.
I was used to it, but it didn't hurt any less to know I was just a carnival freak to the outside world; that's why it was safer for me to stay here, people here stuck together, we helped each other, we were like a family. I drifted off to sleep with those thoughts circling my mind, but not my dreams.
Just like every night I found myself in those white, never ending hallways, just going on forever; I would start out by just walking, not long after I would accelerate, gaining speed at every turn, until I was running so fast you would think I was being chased by some kind of monster, that's what it felt like. I would just keep running until I couldn't feel my legs, until my lungs felt like I was drowning; just running, never finding my way out of this maze, until I finally woke up screaming and fighting to catch my breath.
But this night was different, among the long twisting corridors there seemed to be a dead end, the only thing keeping me from being completely trapped was a door, a big red door that seemed so out of place in this mass of white. My body automatically moved towards it, my hand stretched out to turn the gold coloured knob, once it was open all I could see on the other side was a black emptiness and cold air was rushing out in my face.Once again my body moved without my control.
Once I was over the threshold everything changed, I was in someone's house, a place I had never been in or even seen before; so why did I feel like I missed the place? I looked for the kitchen, there was something in there, I knew it; I found it immediately, I knew this wasn't my house, it was much too big, but I felt like I knew the place like I had been here before, I just couldn't remember when or who it actually belonged to.
Once inside the kitchen I didn't need to look around, the only thing that caught my attention was the round table in a corner surrounded by four chairs, on top of the table were my tarot cards in a neat stack. I walked over to them and picked out a card. The image was of two naked people, a man and a woman, embracing each other; the lovers. I picked a second card, it was the same as the first, but the features of the two were more recognizable.
I picked another card, then another, until at the last card I could clearly see the two people, the two lovers, were me and a pale black haired boy I had never seen. I stared at the card, instead of feeling confusion all I could feel was happiness, I couldn't help but smile; but then I started wandering what it all meant and in my frustration I scattered the cards off the table, but they didn't land on the floor, they started flying and floating around my head. The image on each card disappeared being replaced by fragments of what looked like movie clips.
Each one was of that boy doing...anything, smiling, talking, moving, all of this floating in front of my eyes. He looked young in them, as if thees images were of the past and that's when I realized that they were memories, my memories, and I knew the boy in the floating cards, I knew his name but I couldn't quite remember, no matter how hard I tried with every fiber of my being; that boy meant something to me, he was everything.
That's when the pain started, terrible searing pain, from the sides of my head, growing in intensity and traveling down my spine until I was screaming and collapsing to the ground, my hands fisted in my hair; the images were gone, all that was left was the excruciating pain, like thousands of volts of electricity were running through my brain, making me convulse and spasm.
"Don't hold him down!" Said a voice and I barely heard it over the sound of my own screaming.
"He's going to hurt himself." Said someone else. My body rolled to the side and I felt myself fall and land painfully. I opened my eyes, I was on the floor of my caravan as I had fallen out of bed. I looked around and practically the whole camp was standing at my door, only Ryan, the carnival owner, and Nancy, the doctor, were on the inside closer to me.
I still felt pain and my body kept convulsing as if I were having some sort of seizure.
"HELP!" I screamed, the pain was everywhere, I could barely breath. "PLEASE! MAKE IT-STOP!" I could see some people were crying for me, I was crying too but for a very different reason. It seemed like eternity had passed before the pain started to finally subside as did the convulsing. Finally when I was only twitching on the floor I felt exhausted from my fit and gratefully passed into a dreamless slumber.
@Ninet
Mate, everyone should read this story. And no, thank you!
1/27/19