Make a wish when a Blackbird flies

I walked back to the carnival, the same way I came, Cameo always by my side sniffing every weed patch that grew out of the cracks in the asphalt. I would need to feed her when we got back. The reason why I hadn't fed her made me smile to myself.

I wondered what would be happening now, with me and Gerard; would he continue to chase me around, always following the carnival, even after he caught whoever was killing people; or would he eventually tire of waiting for me and just stop showing up. I think that would completely shatter me.

Being with Gerard was slowly putting me back together, I had let go of my past a long time ago; could I finally start looking forward, towards a future, hopefully with him?

I was broken out of my thoughts when I saw two people walk in the opposite direction I was, towards me; it looked like a little girl and her mother. As they came closer I could make out their features better.

The little girl couldn't be more than 3, she was hopping, avoiding the cracks and puddles, making her blond pigtails bounce about with her; when she smiled a gap showed where her two front teeth should have been and her blue eyes sparkled.

She looked like Alice, the little girl Gerard had been looking for when we first met. But that wasn't possible, she had been killed, Gerard confirmed that, he seemed heartbroken by it. Just as the two were about to pass by me I looked up at the face of the mother, who I saw made me stop in my tracks. I turned around at their retreating figures.

“Alicia!” I called out. The pair turned and stared at me in confusion. It wasn't Alicia. It looked nothing like her, the little girl wasn't even blonde. “I'm, I'm sorry. I thought...you were someone else.” I mumbled. The mother smiled a little then walked off, pulling her child along with her.

I too turned back around and kept walking, slower, more tentatively. What just happened? I hadn't seen Alicia since I was in high school, since I was taken out more specifically. Why would I be seeing her? With Alice no less.

Seeing the carnival entrance I quickened my pace, as I walked through I passed Benji, the ticket vendor. He knew who I was so didn't stop me to pay, though he did look at me strangely. I guess it was strange seeing one of the workers just appear.

I walked on trying to find my caravan – I wanted to change my clothes before I got to work – and hardly noticed that I bumped into someone until they grabbed my shoulder, probably to stop me from falling on my ass and uttered a quiet apology. I looked up then at the decaying face of doctor Mackezie, white bloodstained coat and all.

I jumped back letting out the most unmasculine scream and covered my eyes against the horrible image of the man.
“Hey, hey, Frank, what's up?” Said a voice that definitely wasn't that of the doctor; it was too deep. I uncovered my eyes slowly and saw that it wasn't Mackenzie but Eric, Mr. Strongman; his bulging muscle and neanderthal like face suggested he might kill you with a thumb, and he could, but he was actually a really nice guy, if a little dim.

It was him I bumped into of course, not some dead doctor from my past,
“I'm sorry, I thought I saw...” I breathed out.
“You ok? You might want to get some rest, you don't look like you've had much sleep.” He said sounding concerned.
“I'm fine; I just...have to...” I mumbled, inching away and finally turning quickly.

A couple seconds after that I was stopped by the man at the hot-dog stand. Only it wasn't him; he was one of those men from that place.
“Hey Frankie, you look hungry.” He said with an evil smile. “But you gotta do something for me first.” I blinked.
“What?” I spluttered.
“I said, would you like something to eat?” He said changing back to who he really was.

I didn't answer; I bent down to pick up Cameo and squeezed her tightly to my chest making her let out a sound that was a mix between a growl and a whine, then slowly just walked away. Something strange was happening, everywhere I looked people seemed to be watching me, people who were wearing either white coats or jumpsuits, light pink for girls and light blue for men.

I started feeling light headed, like there wasn't enough air going around. Everyone was crowding around me, there was nowhere I could turn. I broke into a slight sprint and eventually ended up running into a random tent. I didn't know where I was until I looked up ans saw who was standing I it.

“Nancy.” I called.
“Hey...Is everything alright?” She said, sounding bright and happy first then concerned and worried.
“I don't know.” I said shakily, I bent down a little to release Cameo who started trotting about sniffing everything, probably looking for food.

“Alright well sit down and tell me what's wrong.” She said, leading me to a nearby fold out chair and pushing me down on it; she sat in one herself across from me, pulling out a pen and her notebook. This scene was too familiar to me, cold dread was working its way into my bones.

“I keep seeing things, things that aren't real, I think. Things from before.” I said. Nancy scribbled on her notebook while I was speaking, when I finished she suddenly stopped.
“When you say before, you mean...” She asked.
“From the...hospital; people, doctors.” I mumbled quietly. Even after all this time I felt some kind of fear or shame in admitting what had happened to me.

“When did this start happening?” She asked.
“Just this morning. I was with Gerard last night, and when I was coming back, everything felt different. But...” I trailed off. She looked up from her notebook.
“Yes?” She prompted

“I've...been feeling weird for a few days. A couple of weeks actually. I don't know what it is.”
“Well what does it feel like?” She asked.
“I don't know how to explain it. I almost feel lighter, like nothing can go wrong. Almost as if I wake up every morning knowing that everything is gonna be fine. But it's not connected to my powers.” I explained.

I noticed Nancy had stopped writing and was just listening to me, she slowly closed her notebook.
“Could this have maybe started when Gerard showed up?” She asked, still slowly. I didn't answer, I had no idea if it was all connected to Gerard, but it made sense if it was.

“I think I've heard of something like this.” She said. “The French call it Retrouvaille, I don't remember what it's called in english. Basically it is the joy of finding someone again after a long separation, rediscovery. And the two realities are clashing together, making you see glimpses from the past.” She said confusing me.

“So you're saying that, I've met Gerard before, and I'm happy about it?” I said, before she could answer I went on. “But I've never met him before, I would remember someone like him.” She didn't say anything, just nodded and smiled sadly at me.

“What I suggest, is that you go and have a long rest.” She said quietly.
“I don't understand, why won't anyone ever tell me what's going on?” I asked desperately.
“It's all going to make sense very soon Frank, I promise.” She said. So I left. Thankfully I wasn't having visions of mental patients any more, so I safely made it to my caravan some minutes later.

The first thing I did when I got in was feed Cameo, then feed myself. I then lay down on my bed trying to relax, but couldn't. What Nancy said was too confusing. Had I met Gerard before? Like I said, I couldn't have, I would definitely remember someone as kind and good and beautiful as him. So what was this new feeling, retrouvaille, that came as soon as he did? Maybe Nancy was wrong, Maybe it was something else, but what?

I was drawn out of my thoughts by a small snarling sound. I looked down and saw the back end of Cameo, the rest of her was under the bed. She backed up slowly, still snarling, dragging with her an old shoe box.
“Hey, what are you doing?” I said getting off the bed and onto the floor.

She kept dragging the box back.
“Stop that.” I said a little too loudly and gave her a push. She stopped and looked at me with a look that was almost accusing. “I'm sorry.” I told her. “You can't play with this.” She kept looking at me, her head twisted a little to the side. I sighed deeply staring at the closed lid.

This is where I managed to lock away the past, in one small box. I slowly and carefully lifted the lid, it wouldn't hurt to see one more time, right? First there was an old bundle of clothes, scrunched up and squished inside. I pulled it out; an old, ripped straight jacket, stained with a dark brown substance.

Right underneath it was a jumpsuit with my name stitched on the left side of the chest; it was a pale blue, but the thing was so old the colour had almost completely faded. It too was stained with a dark substance. I bundled them up again and put them aside. There were still things inside it, a wilted rose that still smelt as sweet as the day I first realized I had it; an old crumpled photograph and something else, something much heavier.

I picked up the crumpled photo and stared at myself; someone had torn it in half. I was younger, it was taken long before I was brought to Septon hospital. I was so happy, how could people take that away from someone?

AS I was staring at my picture I noticed Cameo had jumped up on my bed and had gotten a hold of my pillow and was shaking it around like a chew toy.
“Stop that!” I jumped on the bed with her and pulled the pillow away from her. “What is wrong with you today?” I asked her, gently placing her on the floor.

She stared at me then barked suddenly making me jump, not expecting the noise. I sighed and sat back against the wall, my arms leaning on the pillow I had left on my lap. I looked down to that photo of Gerard, it was always under my pillow, I picked it up to take a closer look; I stared at it, the more I stared, the more I noticed how the background was exactly the same as my picture.

I held them both in front of me, separated, confused. The scenery was exactly the same, the two halves seemed to match perfectly. Slowly I joined them together only to be almost blinded by the sudden light that broke through the gab between the two.

I knew it was in my head; I was having a vision, but not of the future, of the past, my past; I was seeing my life, all of it again, in quick flashes. Only some of it was different, Gerard seemed to be in most of those images. My history was re-writing itself.

I saw the first time we met, the actual first time; I saw us laughing, hugging, kissing, loving, living and all through it one thing was the same, I was happy, I was happy with him. I finally realized who he was, he was everything, always has been, and I had forgotten about him, about us. How could I let myself forget everything about him? I loved him and he loved me, he made sure I remembered that, but I didn't.

My vision ended with the images of the last few weeks, including last night and this morning. My head may have forgotten him but my heart sure didn't; that's why I couldn't get a proper reading from him, I already knew everything about him, there was nothing new to find out.

I opened my eyes and saw that I was shaking. I remembered. I had to go back to him and tell him. I remembered. All this time, he has been waiting for me, wanting us to be together again; he found me and I remembered.

I quickly got up and ran out of my caravan shutting with force behind me, and ran across the carnival towards the exit, Cameo running by my side, all with a huge grin on my face. I was going to see Gee again, after almost 10 years, I was finally seeing him again.

I ran out the carnival entrance and down the street towards his motel when I felt a terrible pain in the back of my head. I collapsed, unable to move. I could hear Cameo barking. I saw a pair of feet walk into my line of vision; Cameo started biting their pant leg, but she was too small to do any damage, this was proven right when they suddenly kicked her and she went flying where I couldn't see her.

The everything went black.

Notes

Oh no, what's going to happen???
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