Make a wish when a Blackbird flies

It had been over a week of me hiding in my caravan before anyone saw me. During that time I literally hadn't been doing anything. The only times my door opened were when I needed something to eat or when Cameo and I went out to get some exercise; I've mostly been ignoring everyone and everyone's been staying out of my way.

The camp we were staying in was in a sort of valley, there was a small hill right behind it from which you could see the whole place. I had started having nightmares again, not like before, these were painful; not as painful as when I had a seizure but I would always wake up shaking and breathing hard with one of the most painful headaches.

I missed him. Despite what happened and all the confusion I felt, I still missed Gerard. I read his book at least a hundred times; I found something in it, a photo - well, half a photo - of him. You could see he was sitting next to someone else but it had been torn perfectly in half, showing him and a piece of someone's shoulder.

He was younger in the photograph, probably a teenager and he was smiling, he looked so happy it almost made you cry. I kept the picture under my pillow, if he really was dead I wanted to keep at least something with his image, just to remind myself of the only time in my life when I didn't feel alone.

On the tenth day I managed to drag myself out from sheer boredom and made my way through the carnival grounds, Cameo always by my side, and sighed once I saw that my tent had in fact been pitched up, probably i the hopes that I would come back. I walked in and watched as Cameo walked around the small space sniffing and exploring until she finally settled down in a corner.

I sat down at the round table and pulled out my cards that were always in my pockets. And I waited; I waited for anyone to come in and have a reading; but nobody came, I guess nobody realized I had come back, so to pass the time I started building a house of cards. Over the years this too had become almost second nature, to stack up bits of cardboard into a triangular shaped tower.

Once I finished I leaned back in my chair and sighed, which caused the cards to topple over and fly off the table. Watching the cards float around gave me a sudden sense of dejavu, thoughts of fragmented memories. I got up and knelt down to pick up the fallen cards; the first one I picked up just so happened to be the lovers and once again had that same feeling of being in this situation before, and then automatically thought of Gerard which made my face go red, just a little bit.

I shook the feeling and thought away and continued clearing the floor, which was just a carpet to cover the grass. A shadow suddenly loomed over me, I had my back to the entrance so I didn't immediately see who it was. What I did see was Cameo excitedly perk up and start wagging her tail. I turned around then and saw non other than Gerard.

I stood up silently.
"Hi Frank." He said quietly. He looked like a dream, with the sun right behind his shoulders framing his silhouette in gold. Before anything else happened, Cameo came bounding up to him barking and wagging her tail. "Oh hey, look how much you've grown!" He exclaimed fussing at her, even though she didn't look any different to when he brought her to me.

Nate's words came back to me, but all I could feel while staring at him were tickley butterflies in my stomach. Once the dog had calmed down he straightened up and once again turned his gaze toward me, smiling slightly. The way he looked at me, like I was everything, almost made me completely sure that what Nate said was wrong; but there was still that lingering doubt that scared me more than anything.

I was still clutching a bunch of cards, and as Gerard took a step forward I took a step back, trying to dump the the cards on the table but failing so they once again tumbled to the floor. His face fell.
"What's wrong?" He asked.
"I...I've been told something very upsetting about you. And I don't want to believe it, but I just don't know..." I squeaked out.

His eyes went wide, he was worried, scared.
"Who said this? And what did they say?" He asked slowly; for the first time in a very long time I prayed silently to whoever was up there to grant me the thing I wished for most.
"They um...said that you...that you're dead. And you're just a ghost."

It was silent for a few seconds, I was staring at the ground so I didn't really see his reaction. For a moment I thought he had disappeared but then the crushing disappointment was lifted as he laughed a little and said "That's what you think?" A hint of relief in his voice.

I looked up at him and he was smiling.
"No, I'm not dead, I'm not a ghost, I'm really here." He said. I didn't know what to feel; he could be lying, but why would he? Why would Nate lie to me? Gerard saw my inner turmoil and came closer, this time I didn't back away.

"If you don't believe me...look." He said, then surprised me by taking my hand, pulling me closer to him in the process, and placed it on his own chest, right above his heart.
"Do ghosts have a beating heart?" He asked softly, and I could feel it. His heart, beating rather quickly. I looked up, his face was so close to mine; I would usually feel uncomfortable in this situation but with him it just felt right.

"Can ghosts touch you like this..." He whispered and with the same hand he moved my hair out of my face, his fingers barely brushing my skin. "Or hold you like this..." His other arm came round to circle my waist. I was frozen in his arms, my eyes wide and my mouth slightly open just millimeters away from his.

"If I was a ghost..." He came closer still, the tips of his hair tickling my face, I could barely breath and for a split second the image of the setting sun came to my mind. "Could I do this?" He finished and leaned in closer still until-
"Frank, I didn't know you were- oh, I'm sorry." Came a voice from the tent entrance.

Me and Gerard sprang apart, I had to uncurl my fingers from the grip I had unconsciously on his shirt above his chest, and looked over at the intruder. Nancy. Hadn't seen her in a while so I wondered what in the hell she wanted right now.
"I'm sorry, I just saw the open tent, and wondered why you didn't tell anyone you were coming back." She said.

I tried to regulate my breathing, I was inhaling fine, but couldn't seem to exhale properly, I almost felt like I was going to faint.
"Yeah, I'm good now." I blurted out shortly.
"Right; nice to see you again Gerard." She said looking right at him. He nodded back in reply. "Well, I'll leave you two alone now." And finally she left.

I breathed out loudly and heard Gerard do the same then he let out a small chuckle. I felt beyond embarrassed and couldn't even look at him.
"Hey." He said gently cupping my face to look at him. "Do you believe me now? That I'm alive, breathing and kicking?" He asked making me smile and nod my head.

I felt his thumb rub the skin underneath my eye as he stared at me, with some kind of passionate emotion I wasn't too familiar with. I wanted him to kiss me before, and it seemed like he wanted it too, and though our moment was already ruined I didn't want anyone else coming in to see us.So I took his hand, told him to follow me, whistled to Cameo and five minutes later we were sitting on the small hill behind the carnival, coincidentally the sun was starting to go down, casting an orange glow over everything it touched.

"So why are you here? In West Virginia, I mean." I asked him and part of me wanted him to say that he came just for me, but I knew that would be absurd.
"There's been a new murder, around here, so they sent me to check it out. And naturally I couldn't resist coming to see you." He smiled at me, which made me blush and want to hide my face.

We stayed in silence for a few more minutes.
"When did you stop drinking?" I asked him; he looked surprised for a moment then remembered that I could see these things.
"Just about a week ago." He answered.
"If it's alright, why did you start in the first place?" I asked fearing it would be too personal.

"I'm just...not very good at coping with loss." He said and once more we stayed silent after that. Until I saw a blackbird fly right passed us and I excitedly closed my eyes tight, scrunching my nose up. "What are you doing?" Gerard laughed.
"I'm making a wish. You're supposed to make a wish when you see blackbirds fly." I told him.
"Why?"

I opened my eyes and stared ahead of me.
"I don't know. Someone once told me that if you make a wish , the bird will catch it and fly away with it, take it somewhere where they can drop it and it can come true."
"Who told you that?" He sounded more serious, he wasn't laughing anymore.
"I don't remember." I said sadly.

The sun was halfway below the horizon, making everything seem darker as time went by.
"What did you wish for?" He asked me, this time I could clearly hear the smile in his voice.
"Not telling." I said, also with a wide smile. "You know why the sun sets red?" I asked and before he could answer I went on.

"You see, light is made up of lots of colours, and out of all those colours-"
"Red is the one that travels the fastest." He finished for me. I looked at him and smiled, seeing that he was already smiling and looking at me. It was in that cheesy and cliche moment that I realized I was in love with Gerard.

Notes

Well here it is; I hope everyone is happy now and sorry if its a little late; please comment and all that crap, see you next week