The Only Hope For Me Is You.

Me and Frank spent the rest of the day in my spare room, I called the office and told them we both had to leave for doctors appointments or some bullshit like that.
Franks a really nice kids, its a shamehe has to but up with so much bullying. Just for being gay! Granted im gay too and I was also bullied alot when i as a kid but cmon! That was a few years ago you would have thought the school system would have picked up on it by now!
No one in this school knows im gay and im quite glad of it, some people can be very crule to other simply for there sexuality. Like my friend Michel, hes gay and had to put up withso mch shit in high school. He turned to self mutalation. His arms are covered inscars from the battles in his head.
He has bipolour, schitzophrenia, anxiety and depression. I knowthe studdnts that tormented him didnt cause the chemical inbalance in his brain but they sure as hell didnt help!!

I gave Frank a lift home once school was over.
We wernt speaking, it was a comftable silnce.
"Gerard?"
Apprently not to Frank then.
"Yes Frank?"
"Why are you a teacher? You just dont seem like the type to be..uno..want to study and learn how to become something you used to hate. You seem like a cool sexy guy who wants to rebel is hat I'm trying to say..yet you have such a serious tied down job? Its just confusing to me."

That made me think.
Why what I a teacher..
Why am I tyied down..
When I was his age I always imagined finishing school and being free. Getting a van of some sort and traveling with my brother and friends!
Why hadnt I done that..
Why dont I do that now?
Oh yeah...i remember...

"Because realities harsh Frank..we all wanna change the world but no ones to die.."

Frank looked confused and sad by my answer, I could sort of see why...

"Think of it this way Frank, if we all did exactly what we wanted all the time, nothing non selfish would ever be done"

Frank sat for a minute and thought, head down eyes closed hiding his amazingfeatures from me.
"Thats a lie Gerard...we could just leave everything and dissapper!"
"Thats selfish on those who care for you though"

I pulled up ouside his house and wactched him, waiting for him to get out.

He undid his seat belt and opened the door, turning his head back just to say,
"No one cares.."
Before slamming the door shut and running to his house.

I turned my radio on and drove home.

***********Just a few hours later once Gees home***********

I sat on my beat up old sofa and frowned feeling chest pains before realising what was about to happen.

"Shit!!" I screamd.
I got up and ran to the bathroom throwing up blood and crying a little. It always hurt so bad when ever this happened.
I got up, cleaned my face and teeth then went to my bedroom and pulled out my blue bag. I hated the this thing.
I went inside and pulled out a box full of mechlorethamine injections. My eyes skimming the label.

Warning! Keep out of reach of children!
To help reduce the effects of lung cancer.
Contains...

My eyes lose consentraction so I look away. I hate this. I hate my pathetic weak body.
I HATE NEEDLES!!!

I sighed and opened the packet, pulling out an injection and rollong up the sleeve on my arm to revel scars and an IV drip holder, i place the needle into the mouth and press down. Only feeling a slight sting of it going in to my blood.

I put my stuff away and get my pjs on. A santa onzie. I have style bitches!
Slowl i moved up into my bed and wrapped myself up, god i was tired..

I wonder if Franks in my classes tomorrow...

Notes

@Geesgirl! This is sorta for you :) thank you for reminding me I Need to update.

~PartyGhost •o•