I wait for Gerard to go outside again the next day, so I can “casually run into him” and speak with him. I really want to help the kid; he sure is going through a lot of shit. When I see him throw on a military jacket I know where he’s going, so I follow him outisde and go to the end of the sidewalk, letting myself appear.
“Hi!” I call, starting towards Gerard, who rocks backand forth on the squeaky porch swing.
“Hey,” Gerard responds. He scooches over on the swing to allow me to sit, and I setmyself down next to him. “What’s up?”
I squint. “Um, the sky? I don’t know.”
Gerard laughs. “No, I mean, what’s happening?”
“We’re talking, Gerard,” I remind.
Gerard chuckles. I can’t see what’s funny.
“Frank, you’re such a card,” Gerard giggles.
“Not really,” I admit.
Gerard digs something out of his pocket. It kind of looks like a sideways wallet, but it’s made out of metal. He flips up the top part and flicks a switch, causing the screen to light up and display tiny little creatures I’ve never seen before.
I jump in surprise, and then, pointing and the screen, ask, “What’s that?”
Gerard gives me a strange look. “It’s a D.S.”
I contemplate the name. “D-D.S?”
“Yeah,” Gerard answers.
“What’s it stand for?” I question.
“Mmm, no one really knows,” Gerard replies. “D…. something System, I guess.”
“Oh,” I respond quietly. Waiting for the right time, I ask, “Why are you so sad, Gerard?”
Gerard sighs, and asnwers quietly, “I’ve… I’ve been this way for a long time now.”
“Well, who says you have to be your whole life?” I reply.
“I… it’s not that easy. I just can’t snap out of it. I want to get better, but….” Gerard tears up as he turns away from me.
“Hey, hey, it’s alright,” I comfort. I hug Gerard, turning him around. Gerard digs his face into my chest as he bawls. He begins a coughing fit, and I smack him on the back to help him through it.
“Oh my God, Frank, I’ve never even told you my name and I’m cyring all over you,” Gerard sniffles.
“I know your name,” I reply truthfully.
“What? I never told you,” Gerard responds.
“Um, yeah you did,” I lie. “When we first met.”
Gerard considers this. My stomach twists with anxiety until he finally answers, “Oh.”
“Do… do you want to come inside? Meet my brother, maybe?” Gerard offers.
I beam, standing up and grabbing his hand. “Sure!”
Gerard blushes and bashfully pulls his hand away, leading me into the house. He goes up the stairs with quick, little steps, and knocks on his brother’s door.
“Mikey! I want you to meet somebody!”
“Omg no way, who is it, John Wayne Gacy?” Mikey responds sarcastically.
Gerard makes a face. “No! We’re coming in.”
Gerard swings open the door and grabs me by the shirt, pulling me into the room. “Mikey, this is Frank.
His brother is lounging on his bed, reading a comic book with Fall Out Boy playing. He grins at me, and asks,
“How are you, man?”
“I’m- I’m good. And you?” I reply.
“Fine,” Mikey responds. He looks up at Gerard and, batting his lashes, jokes, “Oh Juliet, he’s perfect! I don’t care if he’s a Montague, you have my full approval!”
Gerard chuckles and then grabs a nearby soccer ball, chucking it at his younger brother and then leaving.
“Mikey’s going through an asshole stage,” Gerard explains.
I shrug. “I dunno. I thought he was funny.”
“Well, you’re the only one,” Gerard scoffs. He enters his room, which has already absorbed Gerard’s scent, a sweet kind of musk. He plops himself down on his bed. I decide to ask the question I’ve been dying to know more about.
“Hey, Gerard? Are you an artist?” I question. I look over at a nearby painting with moderate interest to pretend that the picture gave me the impression that he paints, and not that I rooted through all of his belongings aggressivley.
“Um, I guess you could say that,” Gerard answers. He shoves his hands into his pockets. “I want to be one when I grow up, actually. What about you?”
I’m never growing up. “Uh…. I wanted to be a musician.”
“Oh yeah, that’s another job I’d love,” Gerard says, sitting up. “So, what do you want to be now?”
“Nothing at all,” I mumble.
Gerard furrows his brows at me. He looks me up and down warily, and then responds, “Frank, I know you’re worried about me and all, and you have a right to be but…” he stands up assertively. “I think that before you go poking your nose around through my shit, you should take a look at yourself, alright?”
“O-okay,” I respond, tears welling up in my eyes.
Gerard’s hard expression softens. Oh, he can see he made me cry.
“Frank… I… I didn’t mean it like that,” he tells.
“W-well that’s ho-how it came out,” I gasp, sobbing.
“Hey, come here,” Gerard says, as he wraps me in a hug. He pats me on the back and breaks the hug after about ten seconds, keeping his hands on my shoulders as he asks, “Now, are you alright, Frankie?”
I nod, still sniffling. “G-Gerard?”
“What is it?” Gerard asks, still giving me that steady look.
“I- I love you,” I confide.
Gerard blinks. “Oh.”
“Oh, what?” I ask.
“That’s…” Gerard pushes away from me, and paces about his room, tangling his fingers in his jet black hair. “That’s….”
“I get it,” I grumble, beginning to disappear.
Gerard turns around and beams, “That’s fantastic!”
I appear, and reply, “Really?”
Gerard nods, his head bobbing making his hair swish. “Really!” He grins and then picks me off of the ground in a hug, twirling me around in the air. He laughs, and I giggle along with him. He stops, planting a big kiss on my cheek and lowering me onto the ground.
I hear the door from the living room open.
“Hey, that must be my mom,” Gerard deducts. He smiles and asks, “Wanna tell her the good news?”
“I- I gotta go. See you tomorrow?” I cover.
“Um, yeah,” Gerard answers, looking a little hurt at my abrupt dismissal. I kiss his neck softly before I go, just to assure that I do, in fact, love him. But… I can’t meet his parents. I never should have met Gerard in the first place. I’m… I’m a ghost. I shouldn’t be interacting with people! This never should have happened.

Notes

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