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Counting down the days to go

Snickerdoodles

It was Christmas Eve and my brother and I were on our way to my parents' house in Belleville. I was in a foul mood and not even the thought of my mother's delicious home-cooked meal that would soon be placed in front of me could cheer me up. Mikey was in a similar mood, not talking, just staring out the window at the passing lights. He'd had a fight with his girlfriend because he hadn't invited her to spend the holidays with us although she had told him over and over again that she would be spending them with her family.

'What the fuck? I don't get it?' Mikey had sighed.

'She just wanted you to ask her. To show her that you wanted to spend the holidays with her.' I had explained but it had only confused him more.

Sometimes, my brother didn't quite understand how relationships worked. Not that I was an expert but at least I had a bit more empathy.

I had texted Amy again, just to wish her a Merry Christmas. Even though I had pretty much accepted the fact that our friendship was beyond repair, I wanted her to know that I was a decent guy after all. A decent guy who behaved like a fucktard sometimes. It was for the best anyway. She had admitted to having a crush on me and although we had almost slept with each other that night, I had never felt the same about her.

We arrived at the house and Mikey grabbed the bags with the presents while I curiously eyed the rental car in our driveway.

'I hope that doesn't mean Uncle Bill is here. That fat motherfucker always eats all the snickerdoodles.' I muttered, following Mikey who laughed at my comment.

As we opened the door we were greeted by the most amazing smell, making me forget about my bad mood for a second.

'Finally!' my mom came running towards us, taking off her apron which was covered in flour. 'You are late.'

'Sorry. Traffic. Also, snow.' I apologized, hugging her.

'Mmmhm you smell nice.' she smiled at me while hugging Mikey and I raised my brows. Why was she acting strange?

I could always tell when my mother was up to something. And I didn't like that feeling. She could be so sneaky sometimes.

'Well, thanks. Thought I'd take a shower since it's Christmas and all.' I joked as she lead us into the kitchen. My mouth watered immediately.

'Good. Since we have a very special guest tonight.' she smiled at me in anticipation and I looked at Mikey, who just shrugged. What was going on?

And then, my mother stepped aside, introducing our very special guest. Lana was standing in the doorway, looking at me shyly.

'Merry Christmas.' she said, the sound of her voice in my ears telling me it wasn't just a dream.

*

My heart was pounding in my chest and I desperately tried to figure out whether the shocked look on his face would turn into a smile or a frown. It seemed like an eternity before Mikey broke the ice.

'Hope you left some snickerdoodles for Gerard, frenchie.'

'What's snickerdoodles?' I asked, trying not to give in to the tension in the room.

'Gerard, don't you wanna say hello to Lana?' Donna said, sounding desperate, looking from me to Gerard, back at me, back at Gerard.

'Hello.' he finally said, staring at me like I was from outer space.

'Isn't that a nice surprise? She called me yesterday to ask if she could come over.' she smiled and I tried my best to smile back.

'Ah, the boys are here. Can we eat? 'Cause I'm starving.' Mr Way interrupted as he walked into the kitchen.

To be honest, I didn't feel like eating. And from the look on Gerard's face I could tell he had lost his appetite completely. He was pale and although he was still staring directly at me, he seemed like miles away. Distant. The perfect word to describe it but it hurt to use it. Right now, all I wanted to do was run. Forget about all this. Turn back time.

'Awesome!' Mikey rubbed his hands together and sat down at the table where everything was already prepared.

The food was delicious but I could hardly concentrate with Gerard sitting opposite me, watching me while I was watching him, picking at his meal. Donna was still trying to make conversation but neither of us was paying attention. I looked at his hands as he grabbed the glass, those beautiful hands that had caused me to tremble every time they had touched me. True artist's hands. I watched as he licked his lips after putting the water down again, thinking about the kisses we had shared and the reaction they had caused, even now, that overwhelming craving to feel them on mine again. Those eyes, a mix between hazel and olive, depending on the light, dark and mysterious at some times, bright and receptive at others. Pale, soft skin, the occasional freckle, his hair, still shorter than he was used to, not able to hide behind it anymore. And then, matching his already beautiful looks, an even more beautiful person on the inside. Something which he would never acknowledge, due to the mistakes he had made when his mind was troubled, something I could never blame him for even though it had broken my heart. Most importantly, the way he had loved me. Like nobody and nothing else existed for him in the world. The kind of love that made your heart swell in your chest, the one you wanted to share with everyone and no one at the same time. I thought about the times we had made love, how easy it had been, despite the awkwardness at first, for him to make me moan out his name in deafening pleasure.

Our eyes met and I blushed insanely, feeling as though he was able to read my mind. I was embarrassed to have these thoughts in the presence of his parents but I couldn't help it. Right now, nothing else existed for me in the world.

'Excuse me.' he mumbled and got up, leaving the kitchen.

I stared at the empty chair for a moment before I also excused myself, following him.

*

The tension had gotten too much and all I wanted was to be alone with her, so when I realized she had followed me I felt relieved. I walked into my old bedroom which my mother had turned into a storage room by now, only leaving my table and sofa.

I could tell Lana wanted to say something, probably something she had thought about saying over and over in her mind. But her being here, the way she looked at me, already told me everything I needed to know. She hadn't been able to let go. She wanted me. No one else but me. There was no way I could ever make sense of that but I knew I was right.

The door closed and I pushed her against it, my lips on hers immediately. Her arms were around my neck and I picked her up, letting her wrap her legs around my waist. It only took a minute or so and she had pushed down my pants and I had pushed down her tights in between messy kisses and then I was inside her, panting, still kissing her, silencing her moans. How many times had I considered to just fuck some random girl because it was stupid to think that I should wait for her? I couldn't even remember but all I knew was that I'd rather wait a million years for this than have the next best thing with another girl. Although it was over way too quickly, I didn't care and neither did Lana. She had waited for me too.

After catching our breaths and adjusting our clothes and hair, we walked back upstairs where luckily, my parents and Mikey had finished dinner. I didn't even care, not feeling awkward about what had just happened in my old room in my parents' house, with them just a few feet away. I didn't care about anything but Lana right now.

'I thought you might want to leave early so I wrapped up some food for you to take. I'm sure you two have a lot to talk about. But I expect you both for lunch tomorrow.' my mother said, handing me a bag. I wonder if she was able to tell what Lana and I had just done.

'Thanks Mrs Way.' Lana said, taking the bag from me, trying so hard not to act suspicious.

'Yeah I'm sure you have a lot to TALK about.' Mikey snickered and I gave him the evil eye. Leave it to my brother to embarrass me.

'Michael, shut up and help me with the dishes.' my mom said, throwing a dishtowel at Mikey. 'See you tomorrow kids.'

And that was it. An hour ago I had arrived in a shitty mood with nothing to look forward to and now I was leaving with Lana holding my hand.

*

He kissed me again as soon as we entered my apartment. It was still urgent but not as hasty as earlier. We made it to the bedroom and I asked myself how I had survived almost two and a half years without this. Without feeling him like this. Without his lips on mine, without his skin on mine, without the taste of him on my tongue. Why had I even tried to be without him?

'I love you.' he whispered as he entered me, making me tremble. It felt so good, it felt perfect.

'I love you too.' I smiled, kissing him, realizing that it was the first thing we had said to each other since the awkward hello at his parents' house.

And I knew there was so much more to say but he took my breath away. All I could do was respond to what he was doing, making him feel as amazing as he made me feel. The countless times I had fantasized about this, dreamed about it, tried to memorize how it had felt. But it didn't even come close to the real thing. He made my back arch and my toes curl, he made me moan out his name, making me forget my own. He made me shudder, just looking into my eyes like he did, a soft smile on his parted lips and I kissed his flushed cheeks.

Gerard had me under his spell again.

'Are you staying?' he asked as I snuggled up to him afterwards, draping my arm across his stomach. I could tell he was slightly scared of my answer.

'For a few days. I have to give lessons again after the holidays. And Freckles is all alone with CĂ©lia.' I replied. 'But how about you come with me until I can arrange the move back to New York?'

He sat up with a jolt, looking down at me with a huge smile. 'You're moving back? For real?'

'For real. I've missed you. I don't know why I even bothered to try being without you.' he settled back down next to me and we were face to face now.

'I thought you would be better off without me.' he said, sounding sad.

'No. Without you, I became this person I'm not. I didn't like it. You know, how we always thought we were pretending when we were together?' I brushed the hair out of his face and he nodded. 'I think we were pretending when we weren't.'

I didn't know exactly when I had realized it but now I was sure of it. Already, I could feel myself changing back into the girl I used to be. Excited, carefree, curious, happy. Not so serious about everything.

His smile was enchanting and I kissed him again, letting him know I was his and I always had been.

Notes

soooooooo....this was the last chapter

what do you think??? I hope you enjoyed it

also...I couldn't help myself, I wrote another sequel, first chapter will be up by the weekend! Which turns this into a trilogy, kinda. I can't wait to hear what you think!

Comments

I love this story!

Jackie Jackie
4/11/18
@the_girl

I should hope so x.0
@xxstraightjacketxx
they have Freckles, that's enough
the_girl the_girl
11/19/13
@the_girl

they might want a pet magui.. but with magui comes great responsibility ;)
@xxstraightjacketxx
lol why would I put gremlins into their house?!
the_girl the_girl
11/19/13