Give 'Em Hell, Kid
Things To Do
“Daddy?” Damian said, coming up next to me. I’d been watching Gerard write his new comic book as he was on the phone with a Hollywood-director-type man, discussing the movie based on his previous comic book. That man can multitask quite well. It was fascinating to watch. I took Damian into another room, so as not to disturb my brother.
“What is it?” I asked him, as he fiddled with one of his toy cars.
“Does everybody do what we do?”
“Which thing that we do?”
“When we do things to people and make the red stu-”
“Blood.” I corrected him.
“Blood come out. Do other people do that with their daddies?” He asked, tilting his head in the way it reminded me of Skylar. There was a long pause, in which I wished I could lie as easily as she did.
“Yes. Everyone does it.” I answered him finally.
“Then why can’t I talk about it to my friends?” He said. I sighed, trying to think of an explanation for this.
“I’m sorry, Damian. I lied to you. No one does what we do... no one but us.”
“Bad daddy! Liar, liar, pants on fire!” He said, rubbing his fingers together as he’d probably seen his teachers do. “Does it hurt the people? It hurt me when the blood stuff came out.”
“...Yes, Damian.” I told him. “It hurts them, but only for a little bit. When they stop moving, it doesn’t hurt them anymore.” I wasn’t going to be called a liar by a four year old anymore.
“Oh... I guess that’s okay, then.” He went back to playing with his toys, as I went back to watching the marvelous multitasker.
I’d decided to try my own hand at multitasking, as I had the first murder I’d preformed. I’m doing everything by myself tonight. I met a nice girl named Ilana Orville. She happened to be my biggest fan, and pardon my language, but the biggest slut I’d ever seen.
“You’re, like, SO hot! I want to pin you down and make love to you all night long!” She said, after I’d agreed to sign her t-shirt. Afterwords, I’d said “Okay.” before leading her off to the house we’d discovered. I loved every fan we’d ever had, or ever would have, but this one was creepy and wrong. Why shouldn’t I murder her? Id practically be doing the world a favor!
“This is where you live?” She asked, looking through the front door. She didn’t have time to run before I shoved her in and slammed the door shut. I put a knife through each of her eyes as I shoved another down her throat for good measure. She choked and gagged as I sliced through her stomach. I grabbed part of her intestine and tied it to her throat while the other part was still attached to her insides. With one hand still tying her organ up, I put my other to her face, where I cut her from ear to ear. Now that’s what I call multitasking.
“What is it?” I asked him, as he fiddled with one of his toy cars.
“Does everybody do what we do?”
“Which thing that we do?”
“When we do things to people and make the red stu-”
“Blood.” I corrected him.
“Blood come out. Do other people do that with their daddies?” He asked, tilting his head in the way it reminded me of Skylar. There was a long pause, in which I wished I could lie as easily as she did.
“Yes. Everyone does it.” I answered him finally.
“Then why can’t I talk about it to my friends?” He said. I sighed, trying to think of an explanation for this.
“I’m sorry, Damian. I lied to you. No one does what we do... no one but us.”
“Bad daddy! Liar, liar, pants on fire!” He said, rubbing his fingers together as he’d probably seen his teachers do. “Does it hurt the people? It hurt me when the blood stuff came out.”
“...Yes, Damian.” I told him. “It hurts them, but only for a little bit. When they stop moving, it doesn’t hurt them anymore.” I wasn’t going to be called a liar by a four year old anymore.
“Oh... I guess that’s okay, then.” He went back to playing with his toys, as I went back to watching the marvelous multitasker.
I’d decided to try my own hand at multitasking, as I had the first murder I’d preformed. I’m doing everything by myself tonight. I met a nice girl named Ilana Orville. She happened to be my biggest fan, and pardon my language, but the biggest slut I’d ever seen.
“You’re, like, SO hot! I want to pin you down and make love to you all night long!” She said, after I’d agreed to sign her t-shirt. Afterwords, I’d said “Okay.” before leading her off to the house we’d discovered. I loved every fan we’d ever had, or ever would have, but this one was creepy and wrong. Why shouldn’t I murder her? Id practically be doing the world a favor!
“This is where you live?” She asked, looking through the front door. She didn’t have time to run before I shoved her in and slammed the door shut. I put a knife through each of her eyes as I shoved another down her throat for good measure. She choked and gagged as I sliced through her stomach. I grabbed part of her intestine and tied it to her throat while the other part was still attached to her insides. With one hand still tying her organ up, I put my other to her face, where I cut her from ear to ear. Now that’s what I call multitasking.
11/3/13