Can I be the only hope for you?

“And now I just don’t know what I should do. I’m afraid.”

Mikey suddenly stand up from his place and sit beside me. He hugged me and wiped away my tears. I told Frank and Mikey everything. About Leo, about the haunted voice, about my own confusion. I cried as hard as I’m trying to let go everything that burden me for all this time. I’m sobbing on Mikey’s chest as I have no more words to say to them, when suddenly Frank asked me.

“Do you love Gee? Do you want to be with him?”

I looked at Frank. ‘Yes, yes and yes’. My heart screaming yes to Frank’s question but I can’t let the answer out from my mouth. I sighed.

“I don’t know Frank. I just…”

“Arianna, is it a yes or no?”

“Yes, but--”

“Arianna, listen. I understand your feeling towards Leo and trust me, I know the feeling about losing first love. I’ve seen Gee in his worst condition. But, life must go on. You cannot be alone for all the time, grieving on Leo’s death. You’re the reason Gee is happy again, can you at least give him a chance to make you happy too?”

Mikey hold my hand and looked me into my eyes. My tears fell down as I listened to his words and I nodded, agreeing on his words. I have to move on. It’s been six months since Leo’s death and since I have been friend with Gerard, I didn’t dream of Leo anymore until the night that Gerard kissed me. Maybe it’s just my imaginary, feeling guilty towards Leo because I let myself falling for other guy. I should let the past be gone.

“Well, now that we know your feeling for Gee, we need to make sure that he also know this. What should we do, Mikey?”

“How about we discuss this back at my home? Gee will not be coming home because he’s too busy with his upcoming comic. We can have a long night to discuss this”

“Are you sure that Gee will not be coming home? I’m not ready to meet him” I asked Mikey for confirmation.

“Trust me, Arianna” He said with beautiful smile just as Gerard’s.

We pick up large pizzas from the nearest store and going to Mikey’s house. He was right. There is no sign of Gerard. I feel relieved because I’m seriously not ready to meet him. I can’t just tell him that I want to be with him after I said that I hated him last month. I was checking on the DVD’s when suddenly Mikey’s yelling from the kitchen.

“How should I know the beers are running out from this house?!”

“You should know. You’re fucking living in this house!” Frank yelled back.

“Guys, what happened?”

“Frank is being upset because we’re running out of beer.”

“C’mon Frank. We have a large bottle of Coke here”

“No, Arianna. I want beer. Mikey, you’re coming with me!”

“But, you guys can’t just leave me here alone!”

“We’ll be right back!” Mikey yelled as he disappear behind the door. I sighed on how ridiculous they are. I went to the kitchen to prepare the plate for pizza when I heard someone’s slammed the door.

“You guys are surely fast!” I said when suddenly I realized the person that I’m looking right now is not Frank or Mikey.

“What are you doing here?”

That voice. I miss that voice so much. I was stunned and just standing there not moving, not knowing what to do. Suddenly my phone buzzed.

Sorry, Arianna. Guess Gee’s back already! –Frank-

“Oh, fuck!” I muttered.

“Is this some prank that Frank and Mikey planned? Come, let me send you home”

Gerard is heading to the door and stopped when he realized that I am not following him. He raised one of his eyebrows, questioning why I am not moving from where I am standing.

“I—I came to talk to you” I finally said something. Now, he’s the one who had been stunned by my words. Maybe he didn’t see this coming. But suddenly he half-smiled.

“You’ve got to be kidding me. You don’t want to have a talk with the person you hate. Come, let me send you home”

“No, Gerard! I want to talk to you” I said firmly and slowly walking towards him. He sighed, knowing that I am determined with my words. He went to the kitchen and take a glass of water. I followed him to the kitchen watching his gestures. The atmosphere between us was so tensed and I know that he was not okay with me being in his house.

“I—I know about you. About you and Cassie”

Gerard stopped drinking and looked at me. His face was expressionless. I don’t know whether he was shocked or angry. I really don’t know.

“It’s none of your business”

“Gerard, I...”

“You what, Arianna? Last month, you told me you hated me when I’m confessing my love to you! You broke my heart and now you came out of nowhere talking about my fucking dead girlfriend?! What exactly do you want from me?”

I was surprised and a little bit afraid because I never seen Gerard being so angry. I guess I really hurt him badly. Gerard is now in front of me, holding both of my arms and looking into my eyes, demanding an answer for all of his questions. Only one way to answer all his questions.

I kissed him.

Notes

I've lost my chance to see Gerard and Mikey together on the stage T.T

Hope you enjoy this!

xoxo