Hey, just wanted everyone to know, that yes Hayley is in fact Hayley Williams, it will become clear later on, yes the story doesn't fit well but this is mys story and i wish to create a great thing that everyone else can enjoy. so read and review, please don't hesitate to tell your opinion. This is the way Hayley looks at the beginning of the story. http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/panicrebels/default/young-hayley--large-msg-12066850936.jpg&imgrefurl=http://panicrebels-paramizzle.buzznet.com/user/photos/young-hayley/%3Fid%3D32813991&usg=__btSgg61LKgwWOpLGAnvkMIlzSHs=&h=375&w=500&sz=43&hl=en&start=43&zoom=1&tbnid=gGSRSw8MVvxJ3M:&tbnh=156&tbnw=203&ei=kR0VTt7hDIyXhQfnvaBm&prev=/search%3Fq%3Dhayley%2Bwilliams%2Byoung%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26rlz%3D1T4RNRN_enGB438GB439%26biw%3D1366%26bih%3D517%26tbm%3Disch&um=1&itbs=1&biw=1366&bih=517&iact=rc&dur=94&page=4&ndsp=12&ved=1t:429,r:9,s:43&tx=82&ty=70 This is how Gerard looks at the beginning. http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lkletgfsrN1qjwlpqo1_400.jpg&imgrefurl=http://mychemoldschool.tumblr.com/post/5267651107&usg=__SpM7CMN-ylbCUeM-VykKRrvZFo4=&h=600&w=400&sz=37&hl=en&start=88&zoom=1&tbnid=uuCrR1ZwL_ZpIM:&tbnh=167&tbnw=110&ei=VCEVTovVHsiwhAeO7-hG&prev=/search%3Fq%3Dgerard%2Bway%2Bbullets%26hl%3Den%26biw%3D1366%26bih%3D517%26gbv%3D2%26tbm%3Disch&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=332&vpy=110&dur=3838&hovh=275&hovw=183&tx=51&ty=179&page=7&ndsp=13&ved=1t:429,r:1,s:88&biw=1366&bih=517 _________________________________________________________________________________________________ People have told me over and over, what happiness should feel like, but no matter how hard I try, I never feel like I've found it. They say it feels better than every birthday and Christmas as a child at the one time. I say it depends on how you feel about the situation. Are you happy because you have found love? or is it a good joke someone told you, something you find that you were led to believe was lost? well no matter what none of them really sum up happiness. They are all different reasons to be happy. Right now, I am in fact nowhere near happy. So my parents got divorced when I was six, Fuck I was too young to remember it, my dad used to beat my mom. Not a surprise she left him. So we moved, moved to a lovely placed called Franklin, wow I really take back that "lovely" comment. She felt lonely and decided to meet someone. Well that's how I see it. I don't care what everyone else calls it. I hate my real dad, but John my step dad was a dick. no words can describe how he made me feel. Soon my mom would marry this guy and pop out a kid. Sure when I was 8 it was all exciting, but now that I'm 16 and fucked mentally I hate the fact she let herself get in so deep. He loved her but it wasn't enough somehow. He wanted more from her than she could give him. So he cheated, I was sadly, the one to catch him. Shit when your dad was a dead beat and the next best thing to a real father was dishonest and cheated, of course my head was gonna be royally fucked. I didn't know what to do, I was 14 and young at mind. I didn't understand love. I told my mom she of course didn't believe me but it sparked something in her mind. She eventually worked it out and I'm the one who has the grudge held on me, my little sister doesn't get anything but shes now 8 and the world is becoming a big place. She will work everything out one day. So this is it, my mom thought okay lets have a brand new start. Lets move to a new state, far away. New Jersey. Wow, I new my mom was fucked up but going to one of the worst crime states there is, just isn't gonna work. My sister would start a new life and get friends from a young age, but me, I would start high school with no one at my side. I hated that feeling, it made me feel sick. High school was bad enough, the groups we were automatically put in, the second we walk through that door. I couldn't stand it or anything bad ever coming out of this. The state of mind that I am in as we drive to our new home, away from the past, is this, New start and new happiness. No matter how much I hated this I would pretend to be happy, for my mother and sister, It would be difficult but it was for the best. I couldn't continue to make my mom feel terrible when she has had her heart broken twice. Love, truly does not exist in this world, if it only causes pain. I will not let myself believe that such a feeling could ruin lives, families. Men would through away everything for sex, it's not love but they would ruin love and the lives of loved ones for, what five minutes of pleasure? no love is something I truly cannot believe in, and I'm only sixteen. I've heard Jersey is the state of music, my head is the safest place for me, and music is my heaven. I love it in every way possible, my fave band has gotta be, Green Day. They have influenced me a lot recently. I have a lot other influences, such as, Bon Jovi, Areosmith, Jimmy Eat World and The Cure. Shit my music collections fucked, I simply don't know what I like more, I like some pop but it depends, and I love Eminem. The house was beautiful, of course very old fashioned. My mom stopped the car and told us we were here, but I wasn't really listening. Hell I was on another planet. "Girls are you gonna help me get the boxes into the house?" my mother said. "HAYLEY! take the earphones out now!". "Oh sorry mom, I never heard you, sorry" I said "Come on Hayley, I wanna go pick rooms" Erica laughed "Yeah lets go" I said with as little happiness as I could. Erica ran up the stairs quicker than roadrunner. I followed behind, not letting her think I wasn't going to have fun with her. The last thing I needed was my sister upset. She found what would be her room, and She picked mines also. My mother didn't care which room she had, as long as we were happy. That word again, 'happy' I couldn't shake the feeling that it was haunting me. My mother wanted happiness so badly that love had been exactly what she thought happiness was, how wrong she was. Everything was set up by dinner time, and I was feeling more comfortable, mom was trying to tell how I'd love it here, that she lived in Jersey for a few months in the early days of my dad and her marriage. Maybe it was lovely, but I'm Sixteen, I just wanted my old friends back. "Hayley, you aren't eating your food, are you alright?" my mother asked with concern "No, sorry mom, I'm fine, it's just been a long day, can I be excused?" I asked. "Of course, just don't stay up too late tonight, school starts tomorrow and I want you up fresh and early" she smiled. "I won't" I laughed "Hayley, can i read your book with the animals in it?" Erica asked quietly "Sure, I'll put it on your bed" I smiled to my little sister. I couldn't sleep at all that night, and somehow I had a feeling that my life was going to take a drastic change in the next 24 hours. Well this is it, my shot at happiness, was the last thought before I drifted off into a dreamless sleep.

Notes

So what do you think?