Don't let go of Us
Chapter 3
When I woke up to a loud bang on my wall. I turned around towards my window to see Gerard standing there looking like well , a train wreck. I stood up and rushed to the window. I opened it and let him in. He stumbled a little when he got in but the entire time his hand was on my shoulder. “Ya know . . . I really miss Jessie.” He slurs. I turn on my bedside lamp and look over his face. “Gerard are you drunk?” I ask tilting his face up with my fingers. He nods his head slightly and then lays his head on my shoulder. “I don’t wanna live anymore. . . So I came here. Thinking maybe you could make it better.” He cries. What am i supposed to do?! I’ve never taken care of a drunk person!
“Gerard you can’t drink away the pain.” I say helping him lay down. I sat up while he layed down on the bed. I moved his head in my lap and stroked his hair. “Well I did and it worked.” He says turning to me. “It’s gonna get better.” I say. “Ya know . . . You loook a ton like Jessie.” He slurs moving some hair away from my face. “Yeah , I guess. You should get some sleep.” I tell him. “But I’m not tired.,” he says like a child. “Gerard.” I warn. “Jess.” He says back. “Your such a child.” I say. “No you are.” He responds.
His eyes skim over my body and his finger gentle trails down my side. “What?” I ask taking his hand. It’s freezing! “Gerard. . . Your freezing.” I say. I pull his hand to my lips and gently kiss it. He nods his head slowly. I lean down and pull a blanket over him. “Lay with me.” He says looking up at me. “I am.” I say confused. “No. . Lay down with me.” He says. I sigh and scoot down so I’m laying next to him. He wraps an arm around me and lays his head on my chest. “Thanks.” He slurs. “Gerard. You’re drunk. It’s time to go to sleep.” I say kissing the top of his head gently. God . . . I feel like I’m his mother !
“I don’t wanna go to sleep though.” he says. “You have to.” I tell him. “Fine… I love you.” He says looking up at me. What ? “I… I love you to Gerard.” I say. He smiles his cancer curing smile. He leans up and kisses the corner of my lips before laying his head back down on my chest. Within a few seconds I hear him lightly snoring. I look towards the clock and see it’s 4:19 AM. I sigh and let my head fall back against the pillow. Soon I let sleep take me.
_
I woke up the sound of someone in the bathroom. I sit up and see Gerard is gone and the bathroom door is cracked slightly. I got up and threw my hair up quickly before going into the bathroom. I stepped in and I saw Gerard with his knees pulled to his chest and his body was shaking slightly. “You OK?” I ask rubbing his back. “I just. . .” he starts. “I don’t know what happened.. I guess I lost control and started drinking again over the whole Jesus thing.” Gerard says looking at me. “I know you’re hurt by her loss.” I say wrapping my arms around him. “Here… Let’s get you in the shower. You’re dirty and you smell like beer.” I say sitting up and taking his hand.
“I’ll get you something for your headache.” I say going through the cabinet. I take out the tylenol and hand him one and fill a plastic cup with water. He takes it before looking at me. “Do you need help?” I say referring to the shower. I hope he says no.. That would be too awkward for me. He laughs at me for a moment before saying “Nah. I got it. Just bring me a towel and some new clothes?” He asks. “I nod my head and start the shower before going out to his suitcase in the kitchen.
My mom is cooking at the stove and looks towards me. “So why was Gerard in your room last night?” Mom asks looking towards me. “Mom it’s not what you think it is.” I tell her. “I’m just making sure you’re not rushing things with Gerard. I do want you to together I just don’t want grandchildren so fast.” She says. “Mom ! We didn’t do it !” I say grabbing his suitcase. “Then why are you taking his suitcase into your room? Can someone not find his clothes?” She asks. I start to blushing in embrassment but mentally praise that Gerard isn’t in the room.
“Mom he came over late last night drunk because-” I stop myself refraining from telling her about my lie of my death. “Because?” She asks turning to me. “I just.” I mumble. “Jess. What did you say to that boy.” Mom says looking me in the eye. “You’re gonna be mad.” I say looking down. “Jess !” Mom warns. “I told him… I was dead.” I say quietly. “Jessica Rose !” Mom exclaims. “I panicked OK ! He didn’t remember who I was !” I say dragging the suitcase with me.
I step into my room knocking on the bathroom door lightly. “Come in!” Gerard says from inside. I step in and see he’s in the shower. I can’t see anything thankfully , I had a foggy shower door that prevented people from seeing inside. I set his suitcase down and then remember I never grabbed a towel. “I forgot your towel give me a second. “ I call going out. I walk through the kitchen ignoring my mother. I walked to the dryer and grabbed a warm towel from inside. I made my way back into my room and the bathroom and set the towel down on the counter.
When I came back inside I noticed that Mikey had joined us all. “Look who visited us !” She says pointing towards Mikey. “You look familiar.” He says smiling at us. “Jess. Why don’t you tell Mikey about the little secret.” She says to me. I look at her in shock and then grab Mikey’s hand and pull him out of the house. “I told Gerard that I was dead !” I say. “What.
“ He asks looking at me. “I panicked ! He didn’t remember me !” I say. “So he thinks that your dead when your right infront of him ?” Mikey asks. “Yeah. He thought my name was Jess so I said Jessie was dead and now I’m just Jess.” I say. “You have to fix this !” Mikey says. “I know that ! Just.. Don’t tell him the truth !” I beg. “And why not?” Mikey asks. “Mikey so help me god if you tell him I will kill you.” I say poking his chest.
“I’m not going to , but you are.” He says walking inside. I walk back and inside and see that Gerard is out of the shower. “Mikey ! When did you get here?” Gerard asks almost smiling. “About a few minutes ago. It’s a shame about Jessie.” Mikey says looking at me. I shoot him a glare before Gerard looks down. “Yeah it is.” He mumbles. “I’m so sorry.” I mumble standing up. “How well did you know her?” Mikey asks. Mental note to kill Mikey later on. “She was on my best friends.” I say. “Why don’t you tell us about some times you had?” Mom asks. I glare at both of them before shifting awkwardly in my seat.
“We uh.. We once swam during a storm.” I say. “Really? I thought Jessie hated thunder.” Gerard says. “She used to. “ I say. “Oh.. What else?” He asks. “We once got kicked out of a walmart” I say. “Damn. You really changed her. She would have never done something like that.” Gerard says. “Yeah… I guess she just came out her shell.” I say smiling. “I miss her like crazy.” He says looking down at her phone. “I know. She was a great person.” I say.
“Gerard you can’t drink away the pain.” I say helping him lay down. I sat up while he layed down on the bed. I moved his head in my lap and stroked his hair. “Well I did and it worked.” He says turning to me. “It’s gonna get better.” I say. “Ya know . . . You loook a ton like Jessie.” He slurs moving some hair away from my face. “Yeah , I guess. You should get some sleep.” I tell him. “But I’m not tired.,” he says like a child. “Gerard.” I warn. “Jess.” He says back. “Your such a child.” I say. “No you are.” He responds.
His eyes skim over my body and his finger gentle trails down my side. “What?” I ask taking his hand. It’s freezing! “Gerard. . . Your freezing.” I say. I pull his hand to my lips and gently kiss it. He nods his head slowly. I lean down and pull a blanket over him. “Lay with me.” He says looking up at me. “I am.” I say confused. “No. . Lay down with me.” He says. I sigh and scoot down so I’m laying next to him. He wraps an arm around me and lays his head on my chest. “Thanks.” He slurs. “Gerard. You’re drunk. It’s time to go to sleep.” I say kissing the top of his head gently. God . . . I feel like I’m his mother !
“I don’t wanna go to sleep though.” he says. “You have to.” I tell him. “Fine… I love you.” He says looking up at me. What ? “I… I love you to Gerard.” I say. He smiles his cancer curing smile. He leans up and kisses the corner of my lips before laying his head back down on my chest. Within a few seconds I hear him lightly snoring. I look towards the clock and see it’s 4:19 AM. I sigh and let my head fall back against the pillow. Soon I let sleep take me.
_
I woke up the sound of someone in the bathroom. I sit up and see Gerard is gone and the bathroom door is cracked slightly. I got up and threw my hair up quickly before going into the bathroom. I stepped in and I saw Gerard with his knees pulled to his chest and his body was shaking slightly. “You OK?” I ask rubbing his back. “I just. . .” he starts. “I don’t know what happened.. I guess I lost control and started drinking again over the whole Jesus thing.” Gerard says looking at me. “I know you’re hurt by her loss.” I say wrapping my arms around him. “Here… Let’s get you in the shower. You’re dirty and you smell like beer.” I say sitting up and taking his hand.
“I’ll get you something for your headache.” I say going through the cabinet. I take out the tylenol and hand him one and fill a plastic cup with water. He takes it before looking at me. “Do you need help?” I say referring to the shower. I hope he says no.. That would be too awkward for me. He laughs at me for a moment before saying “Nah. I got it. Just bring me a towel and some new clothes?” He asks. “I nod my head and start the shower before going out to his suitcase in the kitchen.
My mom is cooking at the stove and looks towards me. “So why was Gerard in your room last night?” Mom asks looking towards me. “Mom it’s not what you think it is.” I tell her. “I’m just making sure you’re not rushing things with Gerard. I do want you to together I just don’t want grandchildren so fast.” She says. “Mom ! We didn’t do it !” I say grabbing his suitcase. “Then why are you taking his suitcase into your room? Can someone not find his clothes?” She asks. I start to blushing in embrassment but mentally praise that Gerard isn’t in the room.
“Mom he came over late last night drunk because-” I stop myself refraining from telling her about my lie of my death. “Because?” She asks turning to me. “I just.” I mumble. “Jess. What did you say to that boy.” Mom says looking me in the eye. “You’re gonna be mad.” I say looking down. “Jess !” Mom warns. “I told him… I was dead.” I say quietly. “Jessica Rose !” Mom exclaims. “I panicked OK ! He didn’t remember who I was !” I say dragging the suitcase with me.
I step into my room knocking on the bathroom door lightly. “Come in!” Gerard says from inside. I step in and see he’s in the shower. I can’t see anything thankfully , I had a foggy shower door that prevented people from seeing inside. I set his suitcase down and then remember I never grabbed a towel. “I forgot your towel give me a second. “ I call going out. I walk through the kitchen ignoring my mother. I walked to the dryer and grabbed a warm towel from inside. I made my way back into my room and the bathroom and set the towel down on the counter.
When I came back inside I noticed that Mikey had joined us all. “Look who visited us !” She says pointing towards Mikey. “You look familiar.” He says smiling at us. “Jess. Why don’t you tell Mikey about the little secret.” She says to me. I look at her in shock and then grab Mikey’s hand and pull him out of the house. “I told Gerard that I was dead !” I say. “What.
“ He asks looking at me. “I panicked ! He didn’t remember me !” I say. “So he thinks that your dead when your right infront of him ?” Mikey asks. “Yeah. He thought my name was Jess so I said Jessie was dead and now I’m just Jess.” I say. “You have to fix this !” Mikey says. “I know that ! Just.. Don’t tell him the truth !” I beg. “And why not?” Mikey asks. “Mikey so help me god if you tell him I will kill you.” I say poking his chest.
“I’m not going to , but you are.” He says walking inside. I walk back and inside and see that Gerard is out of the shower. “Mikey ! When did you get here?” Gerard asks almost smiling. “About a few minutes ago. It’s a shame about Jessie.” Mikey says looking at me. I shoot him a glare before Gerard looks down. “Yeah it is.” He mumbles. “I’m so sorry.” I mumble standing up. “How well did you know her?” Mikey asks. Mental note to kill Mikey later on. “She was on my best friends.” I say. “Why don’t you tell us about some times you had?” Mom asks. I glare at both of them before shifting awkwardly in my seat.
“We uh.. We once swam during a storm.” I say. “Really? I thought Jessie hated thunder.” Gerard says. “She used to. “ I say. “Oh.. What else?” He asks. “We once got kicked out of a walmart” I say. “Damn. You really changed her. She would have never done something like that.” Gerard says. “Yeah… I guess she just came out her shell.” I say smiling. “I miss her like crazy.” He says looking down at her phone. “I know. She was a great person.” I say.
9/23/13