I place my phone back down on the table and run my fingers through my hair. I rest my head on my arms and stare at my coffee. I watched the steam dance up into the air so freely with nothing holding it back. That's what I want. To be free. Free of the weight pulling my under, drowning me from the real world. I want to move on and graduate art school. I even want a family and a rad job that I can be proud to have and go to everyday. But thinking like this and how I'll never achive it stresses me out more, and leaving drinking to be my only remedy. But I resist seeing how I'm still super hungover from last night. Frankie was right, we never do anything best friends do with each other anymore. My whole family is probably disgusted by me. That's probably why no one visits mine and Mikey's house anymore. Poor Mikey too. He has to deal with his dead beat brother who is doing nothing but pissing his life away through alcohol. I'm pathetic.

I look back back up at the clock and almost and hour has past. My first class starts at 1 so I suppose I should get ready.

I send Frankie a quick, but meaningful text message and apologize for being a fuck up. I told him he deserves a better friend because I do nothing but ruin his life. I told him I'm going to get better, but let's face it, I'm not. He doesn't respond so he's either at work or stopped giving a shit about what I have to say. Maybe it's both who knows? But I need to be off to class now.

When I arrive I head straight from the library (that's where my brother works) before my class begins so I can chat with Mikey.

"Hey Mikes." I say to the tall, lanky kid behind the counter.

"Oh hey Gee, I take it you slept good on the bathroom floor?"

"Like hell I did. Why didn't you wake me?"

"I didn't want to disturb you."

"It's okay. I gotta go though. I'll see you after my English class okay?"

"Okay, maybe we can go out for some Starbucks and see Frank?" (Frank's place of employment. Moving on)

"Uh yeah, but I don't know if Frank wants to speak with me."

"Yeah he seemed pretty pissed last night when he left."

"Why am I such a fuck up Mikey?"

"You aren't a fuck up, you're just going through a rough patch in your life. Now get to class before you fuck up your grades."

"Alright. Alright. See you in a little bit."

I make my way out of the door and towards my English class. It's sweet that Mikey told me I'm not a fuck up but really, I am. And Frank. I'm his best friend, I'm supposed to be there for him. But I've been a shitty friend recently even though he's been the most supportive person I know. I have to say something to fix this. I don't want to lose my best friend.

Notes

2nd chapter! Hope you guys are enjoying!

xoxo, Nova<33