I lay next to Gerard watching his chest rise and fall while he sleeps restlessly tossing and turning. If only I could comfort him give him what he needs but I can’t and I never will be able to again. He starts to cry again in his sleep and this time instead of just watching I scoot closer and wrap my arms around him resting our foreheads together.

His tears start to slow and he scoots in closer to me as if I’m really there holding him just as we used to. A small smile spreads on his face just as the moonlight washes over his features, giving him an angelic look. I close my eyes and listen to his calm, steady breathing while he sleeps.


~


When he wakes a dopy smile spreads across his face in his sleepy state. He actually looks happy again, as does everyone in those first few seconds of waking up. That is before you remember all the bullshit in your life. Just like that Gerards smile turns to a frown and tears pool in his eyes again. He sits up and throws his legs over the side of the bed, making his way to the bathroom. Closing the door behind him to take care of his morning duties, not wanting to intrude I go back into the bedroom to wait for him.

A few minutes later the door opens up and instead of him coming back he goes into the kitchen starting the pot of coffee. While he waits he walks over to my depleted collection of alcohol and grabs the half empty whiskey bottle off the shelf placing it on the counter as he fills his cup with coffee. Filling it up only half way leaving the other half available for the contents of the bottle on the counter. I watch as he lifts the cup to his lips, wincing at the bitter taste of the “coffee”. He chugs the whole thing down probably burning his throat in the process. Turning he places the cup in the sink and goes to place the bottle back in the cabinet but before that he unscrews the cap, taking one last swig.

He trudges back into the living room sitting on the floor looking at the boxes with cloudy eyes. The effects of the alcohol already starting to take over his body, soon he passes out on the crowded couch with my belongings a book poking into his side making the skin around it red. I watch sadly while he sleeps being able to do nothing as he slowly begins to destroy himself again.

~

Two weeks have passed and nothing has changed except for the fact that all the alcohol is now gone but new ones have appeared. I not being able to do anything but sit here and watch his self-destruction. Exasperated as he exits the apartment once again to make his way to the local liquor store, I yell out in frustration the name of the only person I can speak to. He suddenly appears beside me speaking quietly a few words.

“We have a body for you.”

Notes

Its short but its something. SORRY!!!!

-Venomous Kiss