What wouldn't I do for you?
Dead!
Gerard [P.O.V.]
I will never say that this could get any worse. Being back to living with abusive parents is nearly impossible. Frank is staying at Ryan's though he feels very out of place. Mikey is still in the hospital. Luckily they don't visit him because he doesn't need them in his life. He is okay for the most part but he is stuck their for his own mental health. Ray doesn't leave his side unless he knows Mikey has therapy. Mikey attends single therapy and group therapy. He is progressing as far as the doctors will inform me. I understand doctor-patient confidentiality laws but I need to know the mental state of my only brother. I honestly hate when they will beat around the bush with me. I just want to know that he isn't going to try this again. I need to get some kind of assurance. Hope falters with every insult these horrible people throw at me. I can't stomach to call them my parents the beings that brought me life. They don't deserve such titles. Their harsh unforgiving nature only makes me want to run, flee from their oppression. The first day I have been back was just unbearable. It began with screaming, then it went on to them making me clean, finally I was beaten because I broke an already chipping coffee mug. I didn't know where to turn at this point. I thought maybe Frank but I don't want to burden him. He is already dealing with so much because of finding Mikey like that. I think he should be attending therapy as well but he says he is okay and nothing is wrong. If Frank can't help me I looked to Brendon knowing that he has gone through abusive parents and he was still going through this problem. I had Brendon over today hiding in my basement bedroom.
"So, why am I here Gerard. You sounded really desperate for help." Brendon sighed.
I looked at my hands and grabbed a makeup wipe from my night stand," This is why." I wiped the make up off my face exposing the purple and blue bruises that line my face. Brendon gasped lightly,
"Gerard, get out of this house." My head dropped at his words,
"I can't there is no where for me to go. I need to stay here for Mikey as well. He needs me as much as I need help."
"I understand this Gerard but don't compromise your own life to help Mikey. He won't be better off if you're dead!"
"You don't think I know that Brendon? I do trust me, but I can't just up and leave him alone in that hospital. I won't abandon him. I won't lose him, not again!"
"Gerard, you didn't lose him! He is fine! I know that everything is hard right now and you don't want to hear this but I don't want you dead! You can't let yourself go through this. I won't let you do this."
I felt the tears prick at my eyes and I really didn't want them to spill over but I couldn't hold it in, "Brendon, I'm scared. I'm terrified for Mikey, filled with fear for Frankie's psyche, and Ryan needs help too. We all need help and I'm trying but I can't do it all." I wipe my eyes with my shirt sleeve.
"No one expects you too Gerard. You aren't alone. You're never alone. I'm here and I know exactly where you are because I'm there too. We can't just expect it to get better over night, but we can try to get through this as quickly as possible. I can't promise much but I can tell you come hell or high water I will be here for you. You are my brother and I never want to see you hurt. When you turn 18 promise you will take me away from them."
"I promise Brendon. I promise that they won't hurt you much longer. I love you too much to let that happen." I felt Brendon grab me and pull me into the warmest tightest hug I have ever felt. I smiled as he whispered,
"Thank you, thank you for everything." I'm not sure what he meant and I won't ask because whatever he thinks of me I want it to continue that way. It is necessary for me to escape this prison again. This time though I will do it right and save us all.
I will never say that this could get any worse. Being back to living with abusive parents is nearly impossible. Frank is staying at Ryan's though he feels very out of place. Mikey is still in the hospital. Luckily they don't visit him because he doesn't need them in his life. He is okay for the most part but he is stuck their for his own mental health. Ray doesn't leave his side unless he knows Mikey has therapy. Mikey attends single therapy and group therapy. He is progressing as far as the doctors will inform me. I understand doctor-patient confidentiality laws but I need to know the mental state of my only brother. I honestly hate when they will beat around the bush with me. I just want to know that he isn't going to try this again. I need to get some kind of assurance. Hope falters with every insult these horrible people throw at me. I can't stomach to call them my parents the beings that brought me life. They don't deserve such titles. Their harsh unforgiving nature only makes me want to run, flee from their oppression. The first day I have been back was just unbearable. It began with screaming, then it went on to them making me clean, finally I was beaten because I broke an already chipping coffee mug. I didn't know where to turn at this point. I thought maybe Frank but I don't want to burden him. He is already dealing with so much because of finding Mikey like that. I think he should be attending therapy as well but he says he is okay and nothing is wrong. If Frank can't help me I looked to Brendon knowing that he has gone through abusive parents and he was still going through this problem. I had Brendon over today hiding in my basement bedroom.
"So, why am I here Gerard. You sounded really desperate for help." Brendon sighed.
I looked at my hands and grabbed a makeup wipe from my night stand," This is why." I wiped the make up off my face exposing the purple and blue bruises that line my face. Brendon gasped lightly,
"Gerard, get out of this house." My head dropped at his words,
"I can't there is no where for me to go. I need to stay here for Mikey as well. He needs me as much as I need help."
"I understand this Gerard but don't compromise your own life to help Mikey. He won't be better off if you're dead!"
"You don't think I know that Brendon? I do trust me, but I can't just up and leave him alone in that hospital. I won't abandon him. I won't lose him, not again!"
"Gerard, you didn't lose him! He is fine! I know that everything is hard right now and you don't want to hear this but I don't want you dead! You can't let yourself go through this. I won't let you do this."
I felt the tears prick at my eyes and I really didn't want them to spill over but I couldn't hold it in, "Brendon, I'm scared. I'm terrified for Mikey, filled with fear for Frankie's psyche, and Ryan needs help too. We all need help and I'm trying but I can't do it all." I wipe my eyes with my shirt sleeve.
"No one expects you too Gerard. You aren't alone. You're never alone. I'm here and I know exactly where you are because I'm there too. We can't just expect it to get better over night, but we can try to get through this as quickly as possible. I can't promise much but I can tell you come hell or high water I will be here for you. You are my brother and I never want to see you hurt. When you turn 18 promise you will take me away from them."
"I promise Brendon. I promise that they won't hurt you much longer. I love you too much to let that happen." I felt Brendon grab me and pull me into the warmest tightest hug I have ever felt. I smiled as he whispered,
"Thank you, thank you for everything." I'm not sure what he meant and I won't ask because whatever he thinks of me I want it to continue that way. It is necessary for me to escape this prison again. This time though I will do it right and save us all.
@katiekilljoy
@TwistedKnife
@beautiful_freak
I actually have another story in the process. it isn't ferard but has some in it. it's called "life isn't fair" it's on here so if you wanna check it out.
1/12/14