What wouldn't I do for you?
Situations
Frank [P.O.V.]
I was just trying to figure out what on Earth had just happened to my quiet, seclusive best friend Ryan. I knew he had, had trouble in the past but this bad? I remember in eighth grade when a bully had said Ryan was a "crazy" because he saw a psychiatrist for his self-harm. I wish that the kid would have just left Ryan alone. He was seriously depressed as was and I really couldn't afford to lose one of my only friends to a moronic jock. I remember Brendon got suspended after that for kicking the kids ass. I had held Ryan as he sobbed while Brendon beat the living shit out of the kid. I wish someone would do that to this kid. Ryan was under oath to never become violent. His depression made him more susceptible to suicidal thoughts and actions, though the medicine they put him on for it could make him violent. The side effects to antidepressants should not make an unstable teenager more unstable. I helped Brendon move Ryan out of the cafeteria. Gerard was still by our table looking confused, lost and unsure of everything around him. I walked over grabbing his hand. He muttered
"What just happened?" I sighed
"Ryan has some really bad issues. The kids know it so they try to push him to the edge because they are seriously stupid." I felt Gerard stop. He had his eyes wide
"Where is Mikey?!" I felt the rush of panic wash over me. I muttered
"I have no idea!" We both sprinted toward the bathroom. As we got closer a muffled sob could be heard from inside the last stall. I whispered "Do you think it's him?"
"Who else could it be?" Gerard walked over to the door and pushed it open. Of course Mikey doesn't lock the door. I sigh out of relief as Gerard sits next to Mikey. I see a fresh cut under Mikey's sweatshirt sleeve. I say nothing. I pull down my own sleeves. I hate the memories of these scars. They are a constant reminder of my inadequacy. I felt a tear roll down my cheek. I crouch down next to Mikey and hug him. I rub his back lightly
"Do you wanna talk about it Mikes?" He shakes his head no and sobs some more. I whisper "I thought you were okay buddy." He whispers
"I was, until this complete asshole walks up to me and said 'so heard your girlfriend dumped you. Gonna be a faggot like all your friends?' I was just so upset that I didn't know what else to do. I came him here to hide from everyone else for a while." I whispered
"Mikey can I have your razor?" He looked at me through tear stained eyes. "Mikey it will always tempt you unless you rid yourself of the temptation." He sighed a little as he reluctantly handed the smooth silver piece to me. I smiled at him and kissed his cheek. Gerard smiled lightly at me and mouthed 'thank you'. I nodded as to say you are welcome love. I had this suspicion in the back of my mind that nothing could get worse from here though some how it would. I tried to idle my mind on the Ryan situation for now. Everything was falling apart in my friends lives. The only thing that could keep my structure standing was the fact Gerard was right here by my side every step of the way. I kept everything in my life calm for him. My mother was not an issue with him there for me, my friends issues were only easier to help because I knew that he supported every choice I made. I felt a tug at my sleeve. Mikey looked at me trying to hold in the tears
"Frank, can we go to lunch? I miss Brendon and Ryan. Ryan understands me." I sighed as Gerard whispered to his brother about the lunchroom fiasco. Mikey sobbed and whispered
"We need to go to him. He is terrified of the thoughts and voices." I was suprised
"What voices?" Mikey sighed
"Ryan hears voices in his head. They only come when he takes his antidepressants." I stood up and helped both the Way brothers up. We ran as fast as all three of us nonathletic losers could to the nurse to find Ryan.
We found Ryan on the table still sobbing. He was laying down. Brendon held his hand and rubbed his stomach. Mikey ran over and whispered
"Ryan, are the voices back?" Ryan muttered
"No, I'm just scared about them." Brendon whispered
"Ryan, can I see you wrist?" Ryan sobbed and nodded as Brendon rolled up the older boys sleeve revealing fresh cuts from maybe the morning.
"Ryan, why?" Ryan whispered in between sobs
"I have been feeling inadequate again Bren, it isn't you I promise. I love you. I just can't love myself." I felt my heart break because that was exactly how I felt every day of my life. I began to cry softly. Gerard pulled me into his arms and let me soak up his shirt. I whispered
"Why are we all so fucked up?" Gerard whispered
"You are fucked up or broken, your just different and slightly bent. I love you don't ever change a thing Frankie." Gerard spoke up
"No one here is perfect, but I love you all the same. I swear to God if anyone says that you aren't amazing I could go write really angry songs about them because I'm a nonviolent kind of guy but still." Everyone laughed at Gerard's kind of sad attempt to make us all feel better. I looked around the room at my just as fucked up as me friends. Ryan was laying on a table with Brendon's head on his stomach both sobbing. Mikey was on the floor muttering something about hating Alicia more and more everyday. I looked up at Gerard and his beauty wondering how we all got here to a place we truely belong. I felt at home with these people as strange and different as they are. I loved them all.
I was just trying to figure out what on Earth had just happened to my quiet, seclusive best friend Ryan. I knew he had, had trouble in the past but this bad? I remember in eighth grade when a bully had said Ryan was a "crazy" because he saw a psychiatrist for his self-harm. I wish that the kid would have just left Ryan alone. He was seriously depressed as was and I really couldn't afford to lose one of my only friends to a moronic jock. I remember Brendon got suspended after that for kicking the kids ass. I had held Ryan as he sobbed while Brendon beat the living shit out of the kid. I wish someone would do that to this kid. Ryan was under oath to never become violent. His depression made him more susceptible to suicidal thoughts and actions, though the medicine they put him on for it could make him violent. The side effects to antidepressants should not make an unstable teenager more unstable. I helped Brendon move Ryan out of the cafeteria. Gerard was still by our table looking confused, lost and unsure of everything around him. I walked over grabbing his hand. He muttered
"What just happened?" I sighed
"Ryan has some really bad issues. The kids know it so they try to push him to the edge because they are seriously stupid." I felt Gerard stop. He had his eyes wide
"Where is Mikey?!" I felt the rush of panic wash over me. I muttered
"I have no idea!" We both sprinted toward the bathroom. As we got closer a muffled sob could be heard from inside the last stall. I whispered "Do you think it's him?"
"Who else could it be?" Gerard walked over to the door and pushed it open. Of course Mikey doesn't lock the door. I sigh out of relief as Gerard sits next to Mikey. I see a fresh cut under Mikey's sweatshirt sleeve. I say nothing. I pull down my own sleeves. I hate the memories of these scars. They are a constant reminder of my inadequacy. I felt a tear roll down my cheek. I crouch down next to Mikey and hug him. I rub his back lightly
"Do you wanna talk about it Mikes?" He shakes his head no and sobs some more. I whisper "I thought you were okay buddy." He whispers
"I was, until this complete asshole walks up to me and said 'so heard your girlfriend dumped you. Gonna be a faggot like all your friends?' I was just so upset that I didn't know what else to do. I came him here to hide from everyone else for a while." I whispered
"Mikey can I have your razor?" He looked at me through tear stained eyes. "Mikey it will always tempt you unless you rid yourself of the temptation." He sighed a little as he reluctantly handed the smooth silver piece to me. I smiled at him and kissed his cheek. Gerard smiled lightly at me and mouthed 'thank you'. I nodded as to say you are welcome love. I had this suspicion in the back of my mind that nothing could get worse from here though some how it would. I tried to idle my mind on the Ryan situation for now. Everything was falling apart in my friends lives. The only thing that could keep my structure standing was the fact Gerard was right here by my side every step of the way. I kept everything in my life calm for him. My mother was not an issue with him there for me, my friends issues were only easier to help because I knew that he supported every choice I made. I felt a tug at my sleeve. Mikey looked at me trying to hold in the tears
"Frank, can we go to lunch? I miss Brendon and Ryan. Ryan understands me." I sighed as Gerard whispered to his brother about the lunchroom fiasco. Mikey sobbed and whispered
"We need to go to him. He is terrified of the thoughts and voices." I was suprised
"What voices?" Mikey sighed
"Ryan hears voices in his head. They only come when he takes his antidepressants." I stood up and helped both the Way brothers up. We ran as fast as all three of us nonathletic losers could to the nurse to find Ryan.
We found Ryan on the table still sobbing. He was laying down. Brendon held his hand and rubbed his stomach. Mikey ran over and whispered
"Ryan, are the voices back?" Ryan muttered
"No, I'm just scared about them." Brendon whispered
"Ryan, can I see you wrist?" Ryan sobbed and nodded as Brendon rolled up the older boys sleeve revealing fresh cuts from maybe the morning.
"Ryan, why?" Ryan whispered in between sobs
"I have been feeling inadequate again Bren, it isn't you I promise. I love you. I just can't love myself." I felt my heart break because that was exactly how I felt every day of my life. I began to cry softly. Gerard pulled me into his arms and let me soak up his shirt. I whispered
"Why are we all so fucked up?" Gerard whispered
"You are fucked up or broken, your just different and slightly bent. I love you don't ever change a thing Frankie." Gerard spoke up
"No one here is perfect, but I love you all the same. I swear to God if anyone says that you aren't amazing I could go write really angry songs about them because I'm a nonviolent kind of guy but still." Everyone laughed at Gerard's kind of sad attempt to make us all feel better. I looked around the room at my just as fucked up as me friends. Ryan was laying on a table with Brendon's head on his stomach both sobbing. Mikey was on the floor muttering something about hating Alicia more and more everyday. I looked up at Gerard and his beauty wondering how we all got here to a place we truely belong. I felt at home with these people as strange and different as they are. I loved them all.
@katiekilljoy
@TwistedKnife
@beautiful_freak
I actually have another story in the process. it isn't ferard but has some in it. it's called "life isn't fair" it's on here so if you wanna check it out.
1/12/14