Dom chewed her fingernails, her teeth clicking loudly as she gnawed on them. Her nerves wouldn’t let her stay still so she paced along the loft overlooking her studio. She’d expected her guest over an hour ago but he still hadn’t shown up. Sighing, she smoothed her hands over her tee shirt, her fingers trembling with the adrenaline coursing through her. She’d been looking forward to this moment for two weeks and now that it was here, she could barely keep calm.

Breathing slowly through her nose, she tried to calm her racing heart. She’d never looked forward to anything as much as she looked forward to seeing Gerard walk through her door. She paused; she had looked forward to one thing more. Drugs: her daily cocktail of pills and booze. She’d pined for her toxic fix to the brink of insanity. But it had been a different kind of need. Pathetic and dependent on the pills to make her numb. Now all she wanted was to feel. She wanted to feel safe in someone’s arms. She needed the one person she knew understood her completely.

The vibrating of her phone stopped her eager pacing and she jogged to the front door where she’d dropped her keys and phone on the table she kept beside it. Her heart slammed in her chest as she fumbled to answer it, her smile making her face ache.

“Gee, where are you? I thought you’d be here by now.”

His voice was soft on the other end, and she could hear Mikey talking to their mom in the background. “I’m sorry, I’m trying to get out of here, but you know my mom. She doesn’t like when I leave. Especially after so long.”

“I know, tell her I said hello. If you want I can come get you,” she offered, sticking her thumb between her front teeth and biting down.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, considering…”

She nodded, realizing her mistake and frowned, “Well, just get here as soon as you can, okay? I’m lonely.”

“I promise,” he assured her and they said goodbye. Dom sighed, tossing her phone back on the table. She turned to face the open room her eyes falling on an unfinished painting still waiting for her on the easel.

Tilting her head to the side she studied it, seeing the lines loosely sketched across the canvas. It was one of her more abstract pieces, the subtle hints of color splashed across it skewing the subject. Walking toward it, Dom ran her finger over the dried acrylic. Her eyes fell to the still life she’d set up as a reference and she frowned. The martini glass was still overflowing with the last of her pill stash. She dipped her finger into the cocktail and picked up one of them, studying the little blue caplet. She’d forgotten what its affects would have been so she dropped it back into the glass and turned her back on it.

She paced for a few more minutes, each one feeling like hours as they dragged by. Quietly she hummed to herself the tune one of the more recent releases by My Chem. She chewed her nail, rearranged artwork and even cleaned the washbasin she used for brushes as she waited, unable to stay stationary for more than a few seconds.

When the impatience finally got the best of her she marched over to her cell phone and grabbed it angrily, dialing Gee’s number. Her thumb hovered over the send button when she paused. She couldn’t be angry with him for wanting to spend time with his family. He rarely saw them anyway. She stared at the phone, still tempted to call him. Biting her lip Dom took a deep breath and hit the end button, jumping when the buzzer to the front door broke the impatient silence.

“Thank God,” she breathed, jamming her finger into the unlock button. She could barely contain herself as she listened for the elevator, the machine jangling loudly in the hall. She combed her fingers through her hair and flattened her shirt again. Her palms began to sweat and she wiped them on her jeans.

His knock was soft on the door but she heard it, lunging at the knob and yanking it open. He offered her a crooked smile and she breathed a long sigh as he stepped into the studio. He’d only been there once before so his eyes travelled over the hundreds of canvasses stacked along the walls and on old furniture. Dom watched him, her body shaking as she stared at him while he studied her space. She closed the door and leaned against it, thrilled to finally see him amongst her prized possessions.

“Sorry it took so long. Mikey wanted to come with me so I had to bullshit an excuse,” he turned to her and shrugged his leather jacket off, tossing it on the couch.

“You told him you’re here?” she breathed, her eyes widening with worry.

“No, but I think he knows something’s up.” He inched toward her, his eyes travelling over her body while she remained pressed against the door.

“Oh,” she sighed. “I tried to tell him, Gee. I tried so hard but I couldn’t,” she finally rushed to him and he stopped her, pressing his palms to her waist. She rested her hands on his forearms and they stood there for a second, staring at each other. Her chest heaved up and down and Gee could feel her trembling.

“Don’t think about that now,” he pulled her closer, his hands still gripping her waist.

Her fingers crept to his face, pushing his hair away from his eyes. She trailed them between his eyes and down his nose, stopping at his lips. He parted them, and she rested her index finger on his bottom lip. When she didn’t do anything else he kissed the pad of her finger and smiled.

“I miss you,” she muttered, bowing her head. “All the time.”

“Me too.”

She sniffed, trying to blink away tears. She hated crying in front of anyone. It made her feel pathetic. Dropping her hand to his chest she kept her eyes away from him. He cupped her face gently in his hands, lifting her chin so she’d meet his gaze. His thumbs drifted over the wetness on her cheeks, smudging it.

“Sorry.”

He pulled her to him, his lips consuming hers gently, carefully. His hands dropped to her throat, his fingers clammy against the skin. Dom’s eyes drifted closed as he slid his tongue between her lips and she grabbed his waist, pressing her body against his. Breathless, Gee continued his assault on her mouth. He slid his hand into her hair pulling her as close as possible, his fingers tangling in the silky tresses as their tongues danced.

Dom slid shaking hands down his chest to the waist of his jeans where she found the hem of his shirt. She moaned into his mouth, tugging the tee shirt up his abdomen. He pulled back, eyeing her swollen lips and eager gaze. Dom bit her lip, tugging the shirt up over his head and tossing it to the floor. She paused, catching her breath and smiling.

“You taste like cigarettes.”

He laughed, “And you love it.”

She nodded, biting her lip again and Gee pulled her face back to his, kissing her hard. Her arms wound around his neck and she slowly leaned her weight forward, inching them closer to the stairs leading to the loft over looking the studio. Gee slid his hands under her shirt, their lips separating only so he could remove the fabric keeping his hands from her warm skin. Their heavy breathing and the muffled plop of clothes hitting the floor filled the quiet of the studio as they stumbled up the stairs.

Dom pushed Gee onto the neatly made bed, her long hair falling around him as she desperately struggled with his belt buckle. Her shaking fingers fumbled with the metal, finally getting it unlatched. Gerard wriggled from his jeans, kicking them to the floor and they both paused. He reached up, tucking a chunk of hair behind her ear. She nuzzled her face into his hand, her cheeks flushed from excitement. He shifted his weight, flipping her so she lay beneath him; their legs tangled as he slid her jeans off to join his on the floor.

Gerard could barely contain himself when she pulled him back to her, the heat from her body extinguishing the numbing cold that had consumed him since she’d left him two weeks prior. He just wanted to wrap himself around her, let his needs take over but he knew she didn’t want that. He had to be slow, methodical, so he pinned her wrists to the mattress, his mouth moving over her throat leaving a wet trail from his tongue.

Her quiet gasps of pleasure drove him wild as he kissed his way down her body, taking time with each breast before continuing his descent. He relished her touch as she tangled her fingers in his hair, tugging gently when she liked what he was doing. Her entire body shook with anticipation as he toyed with her, his mouth finding all her tender spots as if they’d never missed a day apart. Gee grinned when she shook with her first orgasm, her body radiating the heat he’d craved since their last meeting. Kissing his way back to her mouth, Gee wrapped his arms around her, groaning when she slid her leg between his thighs.

Not wanting to waste any more time, Gee pulled her on top of him, wanting nothing more than their bodies to be joined. Dom laughed, her lips descending on his as she straddled him. He tangled his fingers in her hair, not letting her pull away from him as she moaned into his mouth. He pulled her flush against him as they found their rhythm. Desperate to keep the cold away, they stayed pressed together until both shook with release.

Dom fell limp against him, her breath still heavy but a tired smile remained on her face. She nuzzled her face in the crook of his neck and sighed with content. She smoothed her fingers over his chest and up his throat. Gee closed his eyes, enjoying the soft bursts of sensation when he fingertips grazed his skin. He laced his fingers together, holding her against him. She pulled the rumpled covers over them, trapping their heat in the cocoon of fabric.

“Can we just stay like this forever,” she whispered.

Gee tilted his head down to look into her half open eyes. He smiled, kissing the tip of her nose, “If only we could.”

The room descended into silence and Dom sighed. Gee knew she was thinking about Mikey. About how much she didn’t want to tell him about them, about how she really got clean and sober, about their long hours just talking and bonding over their common addiction. He knew she still loved his brother deeply, he knew it ate at her insides just like it did his. The steady ache of guilt that always gnawed just under the surface was ever present.

Before Gee could say anything he heard her breathing slow. She’d fallen asleep. Closing his eyes, he focused on keeping his mind blank. He concentrated on the feeling of her body against his, her breath fluttering over his skin and her heat lulling his muscles into relaxation. Pushing away the guilt, he enjoyed the moment until he fell into a peaceful sleep.