A week had passed and Dom still hadn’t gotten up the courage to actually talk to the guys. She went back to her routine of work during the day and painting and hanging out with Bob and his dogs at night. Bob took up the habit of nagging her about making the phone call when finally Dom gave up avoiding it and called Mikey.

“I was wondering who you’d call first,” he answered.

“Ha. Ha.”

“So when are you planning on gracing us with your presence, Oh Elusive One?”

Dom sighed and shrugged. “I don’t know, Mikes. I wanted to se you guys so bad at the show and I chickened out….”

“It’s just us, you know. It’s not like we’re gonna be angry or anything. We just want you back. For good this time. No more running away. Gerard, he jut wants to help you. That’s all he ever wanted. You have no idea how messed up he is because of all this. Just come back, Dom.”

“Okay! Okay.” She sniffed back a few tears and sighed. “Listen, I work at Starbucks now. It’s not the one you guys usually go to, it’s closer to Bob’s but I’m there every day from open to about four. Just let him know and if he shows up we’ll see where things go.”

“Good.”

“You were great at the show, Mikey. You guys just keep getting better.”

“Thanks, means a lot,” He mumbled, the sound of talking filling their silence. “Well, Frank and Ray just got back from sight seeing and we’re gonna grab some food so I gotta go.”

“Okay.”

“Bye Dom.”

“Bye Mikes.”

The phone cut off and Dom tossed hers onto Bob’s desk. He grinned smugly at her over his computer and she stuck her tongue out at him.

“Don’t even,” she warned.

“You don’t even know what I was going to say,” he teased but she returned to her latest project, pulling her headphones over her ears to drown Bob out.

“I don’t want to know,” she grumbled and dipped her paintbrush in a glob of black and ignored him.

______________________________________________________________________

“You look lonely,” a voice distracted Dom as she sipped a latte on her break. She looked up from the magazine she’d been paging through and nearly choked on the coffee.

He smiled down at her and slid into the empty seat across the small table. Dom eyed him in disbelief as he picked up the magazine, glanced at the cover and tossed it aside, his long fingers coming to rest a few inches from hers on the table.

“What makes you say that?” Dom whispered.

“Your eyes,” he leaned forward, brushing her bangs away from her face. His fingers brushed her cheek and she stiffened. “You just look down.”

Dom blinked at him, unsure of what to say. “How are you here?” she finally whispered.

He shrugged with a crooked smirk and leaned back in his chair. “I heard there was a pretty new barista working in my favorite shop and I wanted to check it out. You should have told me you were coming to stay with Bob.”

“Well…. Um… sorry,” Dom laughed. “Where are the guys?”

“Doing their thing. We split up for the day.”

Dom nodded, still stunned that he’d actually shown up. He looked great, his hair messy and recently dyed and his clothes rumpled from being out and about. He’d tucked his sunglasses in the front of his shirt and his eyes gleamed green in the light of the shop. He was beautiful.

“Don’t tell them you found me here,” she whispered. “Please.”

“I can’t make any promises but I’ll try not to,” he winked and Dom’s breath caught.

“Gerard,” she finally said his name and reached across the table, running her hands down his arms before wrapping her hands around her coffee cup. She wanted to kiss him but refrained and clutched the cup tightly.

“Yeah, I’m here.”

“Wait here, I’ll take the rest of the day off.” She jumped up and tossed her cup into the trash, jogging back around the counter and out of sight. Gerard watched her with a smile and sat back in his chair. He slipped his sunglasses back on and pushed his hair behind his ear. He hadn’t expected Dom to be in the first Starbucks he’d tried, and seeing her through the shop window had almost knocked the wind out of him. He knew she’d been doing better, working, trying to work through her baggage, but he never expected to find her so soon.

“Come with me!” Dom reappeared; her cheeks flushed as she tucked her apron under her arm and grabbed his hand, tugging him up from his seat and out into the afternoon sun. She dragged him toward the end of the block without a word and he knew where she was taking him.

They ended up in a small park a few blocks away and Dom plopped down onto a bench and pulled him down beside her. Gerard watched as she stuffed her apron into her bag and rummaged around in its depths before yanking out a book. Her hands shook as she held it but she didn’t seem to care. He watched her eyes swimming with tears and she hugged the book to her chest for a moment and then setting it in her lap.

“God I don’t even know how to act,” she breathed and a tear trickled down her cheek.

“I hope these are happy tears,” he brushed it away.

“Yes, you have no idea,” she grinned and rubbed her eyes.

“What’s this?” he picked up the book and opened it. Dom visibly stiffened but didn’t take it away. Gerard flipped through a few pages of her frantic scrawls before turning back the beginning to read what she’d written. It was a letter to her mother so he skipped it until he found one addressed to him.

“Do you mind if I read it?” he asked softly and Dom shrugged and nodded.

“I don’t see why not. It’s for you.”

“Okay.”

He ran his finger down the page before reading:

Gerard,

I don’t even know what to write. There’s so much I wish I had the balls to say to you and here I am sitting here writing a letter I’m too chicken shit to send.

I love you, Gerard, and it scares the shit out of me. I love everything about you whether it comes with drama or not and I hate that I keep hurting you. I don’t want to hurt you anymore and that’s why I left. But maybe leaving hurt you more than staying. I know it hurts me. It hurts me every day. Every time you pop into my head there’s just pain. Pain and longing. I didn’t want things to turn out this way. I don’t think I even knew where I wanted things to turn out.

Fuck, I didn’t even expect to fall in love with you. But it’s the best feeling no matter how much it hurts. But I know my family and I guess I’m just so terrified. The only thing I didn’t want to become was my father and that’s exactly who I’ve become and I’m sorry for that. I’m sorry for fucking up your life. I’m sorry for putting you in the position that jeopardized your relationship with Mikey. I’m sorry for making your life a living hell during my up and down recovery and I’m sorry that night happened, you know which one I’m talking about.

But, I guess I’m not sorry that I love you because… well, isn’t love supposed to be the one thing that keeps people going? Just knowing that you’re happy (are you? I hope you are) keeps me going. I know I’ve gone up and down with the drugs and the intent to self-harm and I’m sorry for all that too. Don’t really want to hurt myself because I know hurting myself will hurt you. It’s just so hard sometimes. I don’t know how to handle affection. I don’t know how to return it. Why do you think I’ve only had stupid unattached one-night stands? You’ve been the only man I’ve really wanted anything more with. Not even Mikey. Yeah, I might be best friends with him, but I never saw him as anything more than that.

It’s you, Gee, you’re the only one I’ve really cared about like that. When we met in art school. God, those years were so great. Freshman year was hard for obvious reasons, my dad constantly being drunk and me having to sneak out and all that shit. But after he was gone I’ve never loved life more.

Remember my first night in rehab when you asked me why I was doing this to myself? I know the answer now. You’re probably not gonna like it, but I know. I was doing all those things to myself because I was afraid of being in love with you because I didn’t want to hurt you like my father hurt my mother and me. But you helped me, Gerard. You helped me get sober and I will always thank you for that.

So thank you for helping me, Gee. I love you and hopefully one day I’ll be able to actually tell you these things. I’m sure I’ll think up more to say so there will probably be more than just this letter…But then again, maybe not. Maybe you will move on and I will move on too and all this will just be a distant part of our fucked up past. Just know that I never wanted to hurt you and hopefully one day I’ll figure out how to fix that.

I love you,
Dom

Gerard closed the book and sighed. He could feel Dom beside him and he bowed his head. She shifted and he handed her the journal back.

“So,” she started but Gerard shook his head.

“Just give me a second,” he rubbed his face and turned to her. She had her lip between her teeth worrying it and he wanted to kiss her to make her stop. Instead he crossed his arms over his chest and debated what he wanted to say.

“Gee, say something,” she rested her hand on his arm.

He glanced at her and scowled at the tears swimming in her eyes again. Sighing, he rubbed his eye and shrugged. “What do you want me to say, Dom?”

“Anything at this point,” she breathed.

“I’ve loved you since college, I loved you then and I love you now. What more do you want?”

“But you said before that it wasn’t the same…” she sniffed.

“I was lying.”

“Why?”

“Because I thought it was better for us then. I thought maybe moving on would be a good idea. But then I saw you at the airport looking exhausted and beautiful and I realized I didn’t want to be with anyone but you.”

Another tear trickled down her cheek but she laughed as she wiped it away. “God, we sound like a fucking sappy chick flick.”

“Dom, come on, I’m being honest here,” Gerard sighed and she sniffed and nodded.

“I know, I know.”

He leaned close to her, cupping the side of her face to pull her closer. Dom’s eyes fell to his lips and she groaned. She closed the rest of the distance between them and wove her hand into his tangled hair. Their kiss was urgent but passionate and Dom found herself craving more as his other hand rested on her knee, squeezing gently.

“Come home with me,” he whispered against her mouth. “Please.”

Dom pulled away with wide eyes. “What?”

“Dom, we love each other, I want to be with you. Come stay with me after the tour. It’s almost over anyway. We can be together and I can start the next album with the guys. It’ll be great.”

Dom fumbled for words and Gerard held up her diary. “You won’t need to hide this shit anymore, okay? I’m here to help you just like you helped me before, remember? We’ve been helping each other get over shit since college. Just come with me.”

“I—Gee, I don’t,” her mind was all over the place and she gaped at him. His eyes were bright with hope and excitement and it made her stomach tingle with uncertainty.

“Don’t over think it,” he interrupted her manic thoughts. “Just say yes. If it doesn’t work, then it doesn’t but just try. Please.”

Swallowing hard Dom nodded. “You’re right. I love you so much it hurts. I don’t see why I shouldn’t. But let me go back to New York first. Just to square away my loose ends there with Nat.”

Gerard nodded unable to fight his smile. “Great. Yeah. Mikey will be thrilled too. We’ll all be close together, you know. Like how it used to be.”

“Yeah,” Dom nodded, her enthusiasm much less. Her fingers shook just thinking about what she’d just agreed to but she knew she wouldn’t regret it. She couldn’t. No matter how terrified she was she loved Gerard and he loved her and that was all that mattered.

Gerard leaned forward and kissed her again, this time more forcefully and she could tell he was bubbling with excitement. His lips crushed hers but she pulled him closer anyway, deepening the kiss. The fear disappeared as he wound his arms around her and she gripped his shoulders roughly. His breath was hot on her face and their kiss grew hungry and Dom knew where it was headed. They’d been away from each other for so long and they both had needs. Needs that Dom had been trying to avoid since her encounter with Luke in New York but she could barely fight the fluttery feeling in her stomach as Gerard’s hand snuck under her shirt, his fingertips cold against her back. Icicles shot up her back as he held her and she pulled away to breathe.

“Dom,” Gerard whispered, his voice husky and low. “This isn’t going to end well.”

“You shouldn’t have started it then,” she replied and kissed him lightly before standing up. “Bob’s not home until after seven.”

“God, you’re such a tease,” Gerard wiped his mouth and stood up uncomfortably. “And I might have a little situation…”

Giggling, Dom pressed herself against him and bit her lip, “Then all the more reason to come home with me to fix it.”

Gerard groaned and Dom grabbed his hand pulling him closely behind her back to Starbucks where her beat up car was parked at the far end of the lot. They both jumped in and Gerard shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

“Thank God Bob’s place isn’t far from here,” he breathed.

Dom grinned evilly as she pulled into traffic. “You’re lucky I’m horny or this wouldn’t even be happening.”

“You’re cruel.”

“Oh baby you have no idea.” She winked playfully and sped toward Bob’s house.