As the weeks passed Dom found herself locked in her studio longer and longer just staring blankly at the half-painted canvas sitting in the middle of the living room. Her bucket of water awaited the paintbrushes and the pallet beside it remained devoid of the globs of paint she used to so eagerly splash on the plastic. Her paints remained shelved along the walls and her reference, the still life she’d so carefully placed beside her easel was now tipped over, the martini glass cracked and her toxic cocktail of pills strewn all over the floor. Her red-rimmed eyes scanned the room as she lay half sprawled on the couch in front of the easel, her sweater draped over the cushions. Sniffing she stared at the canvas, tapping her foot against the wood to a steady rhythm.

“You shouldn’t just sit here and mope all the time,” Nat’s chipper tone interrupted her brooding and Dom shrugged.

“I thought I told you to stop bursting in like that,” Dom glared at her roommate over the back of the couch.

Nat rolled her eyes, continuing her raid on the studio. She placed a grocery bag full to the brim with munchies on the counter before making her way across the room to pick up one of the many art magazines haphazardly tossed on the floor. She flipped through a few of the bent pages before beginning a pile on the floor beside the easel.

“Dom it’s been forever. It’s time to start living again.”

The blonde placed her hands on her hips and sighed when Dom rolled her eyes and curled up into a ball, her sweater covering her bare legs.

“Leave me alone. Your perfection is making me sick to my stomach.”

Scoffing, Nat slumped on the couch beside her. “No one is perfect, Dominica. Get over yourself and get the fuck up. Have you even talked to anyone but me since you got out of the hospital?”

“No.”

“That’s pathetic. I bet Darryl is expecting you back at work—”

“I quit.”

“What?!”

Dom sighed, keeping her eyes on the canvas as she explained herself. “I quit right after I was released. I can’t go back there. Not like this. It’s too much.”

“Dom...I…what will you do?”

Shrugging, Dom crossed her arms over her chest and swept her arm behind her head, her hair tumbling over the side of the couch. “No idea.”

Pulling out her phone, Nat jumped up from the couch, “No, you can’t get like this. I’m calling Frank.”

“Leave them out of this, Nattie.” Dom followed, grabbing the phone out of her grip. “I don’t need you guys babysitting me all the time. I’m a grown woman, I can make my own mistakes.”

Holding her hand out, Nat shook her head, “No, I can’t let you destroy yourself again. I refuse. Especially not because of the Way brothers.”

“Natalie. Stay out of this.”

“No.”

“Nat,” Dom warned but she swiped at the phone, nicking it from her roommate’s grip before she could react. Dialing quickly she stuck out her tongue, dodging Dom’s half assed attempt at taking the phone again. The line connected and Ray’s voice greeted her with a chipper greeting.

“Hey Nat, Frank’s outside signing still. He left his phone on the bus.”

“It’s alright, sweetie,” the blonde smiled. “I have someone here who wants to talk to you.”

“What?”

“Yeah, she’s so eager to get you on the phone,” Nat giggled as Dom pouted at her and flipped her off. “Dom, talk to Ray.” She handed her the phone and tucked her hands in her pockets so Dom couldn’t force her to take it back. With a teasing smile Nat watched Dom cautiously hold the phone to her ear.

“Ray?”

He smiled at the soft tone of her voice, “Yeah, it’s me. How are you? I heard you were in the hospital for a bit. I hope you’re doing okay.”

Tears welled in Dom’s eyes at the genuine concern in his voice and she sniffed. “I was…sick…but I’m doing a little better now. I miss you guys. When will you be back around here?”

“Unfortunately not for a while,” he frowned.

“Damn, I could use a Fro hug,” she smiled and he chuckled, the sound soothing on her ears.

“Well… we do have a few days off coming up. I wasn’t planning on heading back to the East Coast but if you ask nicely I might be able to rearrange my travel plans…” his voice trailed off.

Worrying her bottom lip between her teeth, Dom grinned and nodded. “Please? I need to see someone. I’m going through My Chem withdrawal. It’s horrible.” Her smile widened when he laughed and she sank back on the couch and pulled her knees to her chest. “Seriously, Ray, we need to schedule my next guitar lesson. If you take off for too long I’m gonna forget everything you’ve taught me.”

“Don’t say that.”

“I tried writing a bit yesterday and I could barely remember anything. You’re gonna have to fix that mister,” Dom teased.

Nat watched the conversation from the kitchen with a smirk. She leaned her hip against the counter and crossed her arms over her chest. The glow in Dom’s eyes just talking to Ray sparked her interest and the smirk turned into a mischievous grin. Turning to the bag of groceries she’d planted on the counter she began unpacking them, keeping her ears sharp to the conversation her roommate was still engrossed with.

“Well since you asked so nicely I’ll see what I can do about your withdrawal. I’m sure I can spare at least a day to refresh your guitar skills,” Ray assured Dom as she twirled a strand of hair around her finger.

“Awesome. I have something to look forward to now,” Dom grinned. “How are the rest of the boys?” She asked hesitantly, bracing herself for the reply.

Ray cleared his throat; the tensions suddenly thick even through the phone. He ran a finger over the collar of his shirt and sighed, “Frank’s good, energetic as always and Mikey started a project on his own. I think he’s going to try his hand at writing another comic….”

“And Gee?” Dom pressed even though she wasn’t sure she wanted to hear the answer. She pulled her lip into her mouth again, this time chewing it until she tasted blood.

“Um, well, he’s been hanging out with this chick Lindsey a lot. She’s pretty cool. He seems to be doing well but… you know, I guess he’s moving on? That’s probably not what you want to hear but…. I don’t want to lie to you, Dom.”

“No, no, I’m glad you’re not beating around the bush. I hate that.” She smiled. “Is he happy?”

“Yeah. Seems it.”

“Then that’s all that matters,” Dom rested her head back on the armrest, fighting the sudden rush of emotion attacking her eyes. She bit down on her lip and blinked furiously.

“Dom, are you sure you’re okay?” Ray cut through her silent struggle and she took a staggering breath.

“I will be. I just… No. I’m not.” She caved, the breath rushing from her lungs in a long sigh.

“I hate that I can’t be around to help you, sweetie.”

“It’s not your burden,” she shook her head, tangling a hand in her hair. “I just need to let this shit go, you know? It’s hard.”

“Yeah. Chin up, babe, you’ll get the hang of it. I know you will.”

“Thanks, Ray,” she smiled, sniffing and blinking the feelings away. “I can’t wait to see you.”

“I can’t wait to see you too,” he chuckled. “Frank’s back, you want to talk to him?”

“No, but I’m sure Nat wants to talk to him,” she glanced up, seeing Nat across the room with her hands on her hips, a mischievous gleam in her eye. Drawing her eyebrows together, Dom frowned as Ray ended their conversation. “Nat, Frankie.”

The blonde instantly jogged to the phone, her expression forgotten as she stepped out of the studio to talk to her boyfriend. As the door closed behind her Dom sat up, bracing her elbows on her knees and her face in her hands. She took a few slow breaths to ease her nerves and scratched her head, trying to ease her mind.

Gerard was moving on. If he could, so could she. Couldn’t she? Shaking her head she pushed the questions out of her mind and stared at the messy studio. She’d rather just not feel or think anything, let it disappear into the numbness she preferred. Yeah, she wanted numb. Feeling hurt too much. Scanning the room her eyes fell on a white speck by the coffee table. Narrowing her eyes she leaned forward, snatching it off the floor to study the little pill. She licked her lips readying to pop it in her mouth when Nat reappeared, the heavy door banging open as she skipped through with an excited squeal.

“They’re visiting in three days!” she chirped, tossing her phone on the counter as she returned to the kitchen. “Dommie, three days!”

Tucking the tiny pill into her pocket Dom swiveled around on the couch to watch Nat pull a pack of Coke from the bag and slide it beside the fridge. “That’s great!”

“Frankie’s coming back and Ray said he’d tag along. You must be excited.”

“Thrilled.”

Pausing, Nat folded the last bag and slid it away from her. Her arms snaked across her chest and she rested her hip against the counter. “You like him don’t you?”

“What?”

“Ray, you’re crushing on him,” she pressed and Dom’s jaw dropped.

“I don’t think I’m capable of any type of emotion in that direction, Natalie,” she said flatly. “He’s my friend and he’s there for me but I can’t see him like that. Not after all that shit with Gee and Mikey. That would just be fucked up.”

“I think you like him,” Nat ignored her and moved away from the kitchen. “Now let’s go we’re going out tonight. You need to stop moping and start living again. Let’s go!”

Dom watched the blonde skip up the stairs, her mouth hanging open as the sound of her wardrobe opening echoed through the studio. Nat popped her head over the side of the loft with a frown when Dom didn’t move and clapped her hands.

“Dominica, move your buns!”

With a groan, Dom rolled off the couch, slouching slowly toward the stairs. “Fine, but I swear to god anything bad happens tonight you owe me big time, blondie.”